Ok are you ready for this terribly long post?!
So basically, he started off love bombing - which often made me angry. He would say 'I love you' I would say 'you can't love me you don't even know me', he would say 'I want to marry you' I would say 'that is ridiculous'. He would say 'I have never loved anyone like this before' I would say 'that is sexist and pretty appalling for your other GFs'. He pressured and pressured for us to become officially together.
I have repeatedly tried to break up with him. First time 3 years ago basically to the day. About 2 months after we were officially in a relationship, he went on holiday with a girl he was 'in love with'. He made a massive effort to try and convince me he had no feelings for her anymore and said 'I can do what I like, you are trying to control me' so I broke up with him.
He started by 'wanting to come round and talk', convinced me, kept humiliating me in public with this girl, inviting me to things she was at then ignoring me, sitting next to her and jokingly throwing bits of paper in her hair, following her round, making excuses to me to go outside with her, confusing me with her etc, each break up he would come round to 'explain' which progressed to letting himself in to my old house while I was asleep after I told him I did not want to speak to him ever again (he would also constantly stand me up) and it was over and blocked him 'because it was a misunderstanding'.
That was the first time I was frightened before that I just thought he was an immature dick.
Basically all the crap continued, him standing me up, humiliating me constantly with this girl. If I talked about my feelings he would shout, if I wrote them down he would sigh and then shout. Often he would keep on and on and on at me about how I 'needed to accept responsibility'.
He banned me from emailing or texting him about anything I felt. He really managed to convince me that it was in my head, blamed my past, told me I was crazy and jealous and he was afraid of how abusive I was, told me I needed therapy for my pathological anxiety, I went to CBT and the exercises were based around trying to get me to 'see' that all the stuff that was wrong with him was 'in my head', which obviously just made it worse, until this awful time he picked me up in the car because he wanted to 'talk' and drove us down to the beach at night and actually ranted and raved at me while I was trapped in the car, telling me if I tried to speak that he hadn't finished he was just thinking and if I spoke I was interrupting then he drove me home. I had a massive nervous breakdown and ended up in A&E convinced that all the abuse I'd ever suffered was because of me and I had no chance of ever having a happy life because I make people abuse me and I was frightened I would kill myself.
Since then he has been 'sorry' because he says he did 'have feelings' for the girl after all but 'doesn't agree' that he did do any of the things I described above. He doesn't have feelings anymore because she treated him like crap (my interpretation). He says I should be comforted by the fact he always liked me more and he always told his friends that. 
But he maintains that the way he acted was fine because he is allowed private feelings and that my responses are overreactions.
Everytime I am upset about anything I am always overreacting, and it is often because he still does all the crap - standing me up, being late (for important things like taking me to hospital) because he wanted a nap or a bath, getting nasty and contemptuous towards me if we are talking about something and I don't agree exactly with his position on it, expecting me to pay for everything all the time, being crap at managing his money and often expecting me to pick up the slack for his own expenses - gas, electricity, car, dog etc.
If I do anything nice for him eventually it will be brought up and used as an example of me being 'manipulative and controlling'.
He will ask me to be honest with him and then tell me I am horrible and mean and need to be more tactful.
He has been aggressive with me re sex. Once he actually shouted and sulked repeatedly at me until I wanked him off. Then he went to sleep and I went downstairs to cry, he didn't notice. After that I have felt pressured and often gone downstairs or out of the room to cry. He never notices. I now am drinking wine everytime I see him to be able to 'manage' sex. It never used to be the case. The sex used to be the only thing that was good. But now sometimes he will leap out of bed in a rage if I have done something 'wrong'. He once told me that if any of the girls he had sex with whilst they were drunk regretted it or had been too drunk to consent then it wasn't his problem - and since I started drinking the wine I have thought on this more. Very recently he suggested a particular kind of sex, after he had watched me drink two bottles of wine, I used to enjoy but which caused physical problems that led to hospital investigations and which I had agreed with him (I thought) we wouldn't do again.
He will drink with his friends (and drunk text me) but he never drinks when he is with me. Also alcohol is about the only thing he ever buys me.
We can't watch anything on tv without him constantly asking me if I fancy xyz person. We have sometimes had to stop watching things I like because he will be so sexually obsessed with someone that it will be terribly uncomfortable for me.
When I am ill, if he can't avoid me, he will mimic my symptoms in a mean way and call it teasing. If I tell him anything such as 'I can't run I have dodgy ankles/knees' he will try and force me to run (dragging me by the hand across the road in front of a car) because he won't believe me, If I get injured because of it then he will accept it.
If we discuss things often I will make a certain point and he will poo poo it but when a man makes it to him he will suddenly agree and then proudly announce to me he has 'come round to your way of thinking'.
There is probably loads more but what I mean by escalating is basically that he has progressed from being verbally aggressive and intimidating to actual physical violence against my things.