I'm fine Capes! I'm worried about you! You are so strong but there is only so much weight you can carry on your shoulders. You need to find some way to share the load, or offload in a safe environment. For me, it's a way to touch base each week, to put a pause on life to consider my feelings and his behaviours and learn how to deal with them without outside distractions.
He has made you numb Capes, you are just rolling with the punches at the moment, putting up boundaries but without letting yourself have perfectly natural human emotions. You are too used to this. One foot in front of the other works for the short-term but in the long-term you need to be able to heal, and you can only heal by acknowledging that you are hurt.
Abuse is about more than being a twat, he's gotten inside your head, he's twisted your memories, your emotions and even your very beliefs to fit what he wants and what he thinks should be. It takes more than just an "enough" moment to undo that. It is about unravelling the true you, from the you that has come into existence to appease him. It is a hard hard task, but it is so much easier when you have help, when you have validation from others that what he has done, and is continuing to do, is not okay.
I hope you're feeling ok, and that you find a way past this horrible situation that you're in 