Is he just going to keep breaking up with me?

[Username789]

So my boyfriend of only 6 months has now broke up with 3 times already!

Each time we very quickly get back together, with hours or a day, the thing is we do not argue when he does this he just thinks I am getting fed up with him and going to break up with him so he runs. He has said he doesn't feel good enough for me and he's a bit insecure and he does not want to be hurt.

I realise how childish this sounds, I am 37 and he is 40 though, both of us have children from previous relationships.

So he just broke up with me again for the 3rd time a few days ago and I thought to myself: this is it, there is no way I'm taking him back this time, I am not going to be a fool. However we talked via messaging and we decided to get back together and he is coming over tonight. He has said he will not run away again, that he will talk to me instead.

I just don't want to keep going round in circles it's not healthy and I feel a bit unstable in the relationship as its only been 6 months and all this drama!

I obviously love him very much, he makes me laugh so so much, I can be myself around him, he is very kind and caring, he is a great lover, he is like my best friend now - it was pretty intense from the beginning.

I want to try again one more time I just don't know if it is wise to do so? Any advice please?

Come on, love

Gussy up and tell this loser to take a hike

He is taking the piss out of you

Your ex's attitude of wanting to keep friendly for your daughter's sake is a very good attitude and I would do everything you can to keep that attitude together.

Bin the new guy, he's not going to get better and your daughter's stability with two friendly and co-operative parents is more important.

Yes you are right as usual, telling me what I already know (except no I'm not desperate for a boyfriend, he was amazing in the beginning now he's like a different person) I'm going to tell him I cant do it.

He's testing you. Every time you jump when he clicks, his demands will increase. He sounds utterly incapable of discussing things like an adult.

Get rid. He's showing you who he is early on at least.

So he's now broken up with you four times?

And by getting back together with him three times, you've clearly indicated to him that he can take the piss and make any kind of unreasonable demand. You're desperately reassuring him about your ex - it all feeds his ego but WTF about you?

There's nothing wrong with your relationship with your ex, it sounds healthy and positive. It's your choice about whether he comes into your house. This guy is absolutely taking the piss out of you. Sack him off. And for god's sake, stop talking to him when you've broken up with him.

I can't believe you're allowing him to get away with this.

The father of your child, presuming he's a decent man, is a more important person in your life than a recent boyfriend.

Your ex is right - it is important for you to have a good relationship.

If having his stuff in your shed bothers you, then he should move it.

But it is nothing yo do with this new guy.

This is proper red flag territory.

No more chances.

Fool me four times shame on me.

I'm not, I have just told him I cant do those things and I cant have a relationship like this.

Don't say "can't" say won't

"Can't" implies you would still be open if he just made some half arsed promises (he won't keep)

I am not convinced by your stance, and neither will he be. I mean, why would he ? You have taken him back several times already and you are still tolerating his juvenile game playing

You need to make your mind up properly this time or you might as well have M U G tattooed on your forehead

There are red flags all over this op. He's pushing your boundries using the threat of a break up to try to control you. He'll ask for more and more until you don't recognise yourself. The huge declarations of love so early on are also worrying. Get him to fuck

See my earlier post.
Stop engaging with this controlling twat.
Block
Ignore
Delete

Shall I say it a bit louder this time????
BLOCK
IGNORE
DELETE

Simple - honestly it is!!!

Finding it hard to ignore him now, he keeps texting and has called about 20 times today.

Why haven't you blocked him?

Dp you know what's harder? Being dumped again.

I have blocked him on FB, whatsapp, and incoming calls but I cant seem to block texts and he was withholding his number and calling. He has stopped now though.

That behaviour should be making you very very angry indeed. How fucking dare he refuse to accept your decision?

Send him one text telling him to stop contacting you or you will report him to the police. Then block him.

Come on, you aren't stupid, why would you do anything else in this situation?

Ah, OK, x-post. Good for you. Well, if he does it again, tell him to desist and threaten police (and do it if you have to). Good luck.

He wants you to keep stroking his insecure ego, he's getting a huge boost out of this

He's a massive drama queen dump the wank badger and move on, as already said he will harm
Your mental health.

Yeah being dumped again would be harder, it hurts like hell, I'm not going to give him the chance no matter what he says.

Good for you. Now keep blocking him and move on. What a twat.

Yeah thanks for all your help and advice everyone, I really appreciate it.

I'm glad you're standing up for yourself Username. I had an overly controlling/jealous XP... He never broke up with me but would threaten to go and beat up my ex (who I don't have children with or any contact with but is generally a nice person we just weren't suited) any time I stepped out of line.

He's show you his true colours early on! So ignore until he gets the hint and move on!

Who does he think he is making demands about your house and your daughters life after just 6 bloody months, most of which he's spent dicking you about!

My XP was always going on about how he couldn't trust me and used it to control me so I could "prove myself". Its not nice or normal.

And I would highly question that relationship with his ex and who was abusing who. I know a girl who had her son taken off her and given to her abuser as he manipulated the courts into thinking she was abusive.

Sounds like you're done anyway so just avoid contact so he can't manipulate you again!

If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got.

Don't go back there.

So I was really stupid as I took him back again, he seemed so genuine so I said one more chance and I agreed to no more contact with my ex unless it was regarding the kids but alas he broke up with me again last week after my car broke down on the school run so I called my old ex to take the kids to school and my old ex fixed my car ( he was a mechanic).

So my now ex flipped out when I told him what happened and broke up with me for accepting my old exes offer of help to fix the car! He blocked me on everything straight away, he says no other man would put up with me still being friendly with my ex and that I always put my exes feeling over his and says I am disloyal because I agreed to no contact except about kids and I went back on that in his mind. I feel like maybe I am the one in the wrong now, I am so confused.

So he unblocked me and we started talking again but not getting anywhere because I wont back down on how he was the one being unreasonable and ridiculously insecure about my ex because there is nothing going on but he insists my ex wants to get back together with me.

Why oh why cant I stay away from him? I know I should just find it so hard