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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Feeling a little bit down in the dumps about my lack of a love life...

437 replies

pinkmusicstand · 25/10/2016 18:43

I'm a 35 year old single mum to a five year old DD. Split up with her dad when I found out I was pregnant however it was all a bit complicated as we had occasional 'reunions' until she was about a year old and I said enough and finally cut it all off.

Ex is now happily coupled up with a new girlfriend, which I'm totally OK about. No feelings between us anymore, so not at all complicated.

I've had a couple of short term relationships since then, lasting no more than 6 months.

I find it difficult to meet new men. I've tried OLD but haven't got anywhere with it. Most of the men I meet in RL are married/coupled up. I have had lots of crushes on men, even if they are single I don't think they even know I exist. I am unbelievably horny all of the time.

I just don't think it's going to happen for me. I don't think I'll ever meet someone nice. The type of guys who do express interest are usually weirdos/creeps/in relationships. Am dismayed why I attract these types and not a normal, nice single guy.

I never get asked out. I think I'm OK looking, am reasonably intellegent (have a degree and currently doing an MA), kind, caring etc. I think I'm a nice person. I just don't seem to be able to meet someone who thinks the same.

Don't really know why I'm posting, I guess just to get it off my chest. Feeling a bit down about it all at the moment. This idea that I will be left on the shelf for ever.

OP posts:
1DAD2KIDS · 02/11/2016 22:45

Oh I have just found see no evil hear no evil on Netflix. Hope it's as funny as I remember

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 02/11/2016 23:02

I can't see too many people getting excited about the new series of Gilmore Girls on this thread, but anyway..... it should have been Jess.

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 02/11/2016 23:07

stubborn I know. Lucky to get a frost.

PhoenixMama · 03/11/2016 09:43

Hi all - I crashed out last night at 8:30. Perhaps the reason I have no life lol. I adore GoT and am waiting for the right time to plow through the Gilmore Girls. Thinking about starting from the beginning. Highly recommend the following depending on what you're into: Vikings, The Collection, The Fall, Versailles, Mad Men, Good Wife, Outlander, The Bridge...

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 03/11/2016 10:03

phoenix. Love Mad Men! Haven't seen the others, I was into Revenge for a bit but it got silly.

roverman75 · 04/11/2016 14:12

Anyone around ?feeling really upset and low. Ex moving today ,will never see her again and I'm really hurting.

Chocolate123 · 04/11/2016 17:34

I'm here roverman. Why sad if an ex? Were you hoping to reconnect

roverman75 · 04/11/2016 17:41

We tried to reconnect and she was up for it ,even though she was moving a few miles further away ,then it all fell apart earlier this week ,I don't have her new contact details and isn't answering her mobile , just feel like shirt right now

Chocolate123 · 04/11/2016 17:56

That's hard to take. Maybe the break away from each other will strengthen and you might reconcile. Sometimes these things aren't meant to be either. She's an ex for a reason. Mind your self tonight be kind to you. ChocolateWine

JessShouldHaveBeenAPiranha · 04/11/2016 17:57

I'd give it a few days (easier said than done, I know). At least not having her contact details will prevent you from making any late night calls you might regret. Does she know how to get in touch with you?

roverman75 · 04/11/2016 17:58

Might go into town , to the pub and watch a band tonight, trouble is I may end up drowning my sorrows too much

JessShouldHaveBeenAPiranha · 04/11/2016 17:58

What chocolate said. Look after yourself.

roverman75 · 04/11/2016 18:06

Thanks guys ,it's helping , guess I just need to carry on with things and wait and see , ,hopefully time will make me feel better.

JessShouldHaveBeenAPiranha · 04/11/2016 18:14

It will. Try and maintain a little dignity if poss. It will serve you in the long term. It's so tough when you really want to call but know it's a bad idea. If she's interested, she'll call you. Don't be the one to go running (been there, have several T shirts!).

roverman75 · 04/11/2016 18:41

Have to see how I feel in the next few days,will have to take an hour at a time , just have tears in my eyes all the time ,am trying to hide my sadness from the kids but don't think I'm succeeding!

JessShouldHaveBeenAPiranha · 04/11/2016 18:55

Aw, bless you. Weekends are tough, but it's only 48 hours. So hard to hide emotions from your children. I bet you're doing grand. Have often felt relief at bedtime, just so I can 'let it out'. Don't panic - we've got your back!

Funnylady123 · 04/11/2016 20:54

Hi all, sorry to hear you are having a tough time roverman. Hope you are okay.

PhoenixMama · 04/11/2016 21:01

Hey Roverman - so sorry to hear you're feeling low. It really sucks, especially when you think there's a chance to try again.

I think going out might be a good thing. My dd's at her dad's so my GBFF is dragging me clubbing! Shock Place does t even open till 11! Confused

roverman75 · 04/11/2016 21:41

Didn't go to pub in the end ,decided I might regret it in the morning ! Went for a long walk and had a coffee at McDonalds and walked home again , so much for a good Friday night ! To compound matters ex texted me saying she doesn't know if she wants to stay in contact , wish she would make a decision !, maybe I should ,just can't bring myself to do cos I still have feelings for her. What a mess!

growapear · 04/11/2016 21:46

Sounds like you need to give her space roverman, no more texting. Post here if you feel like contacting her.

roverman75 · 04/11/2016 21:49

Thanks ,maybe I will,also need to stop checking my phone so much , arghhhhhh!
Think I need to sit on my hands on the shelf lol!

growapear · 04/11/2016 21:51

Remember that as bad as it seems most people never see or keep in contact with exes, it's not healthy. A clean break is best !! (I've got plenty more cliches to keep you going with)

roverman75 · 04/11/2016 21:55

Need to find things to do to keep my mind of her ,being at home all the time means she always strays into my thoughts ,have been wondering what to do in the evenings cos that's the worst time ! Hate this .!

JessShouldHaveBeenAPiranha · 04/11/2016 21:57

Much head-fuckery. Can you do no contact? It's pretty tough, but there are a ton of websites that offer support. For your own peace of mind, you need to delete her number. I know it's brutal but you are allowing her to mess with your mind right now. Take the battery and sim out of the phone and stash them in different spots. I wrote my ex's number on a piece of paper and froze it in an ice cube tray (I sound like a weirdo now!) - never needed to defrost it because he always calls me, but at least I preserved some dignity!

roverman75 · 04/11/2016 22:06

Wish I could take the battery and SIM out of the phone unfortunately due to daughter's health issues it has to be on 24/7 ,changing the number is a pain with all the people that need to be in contact with me over my daughter , don't know the answer on that !
I guess moving on is the only answer but I just can't bring myself , especially as we never fell out ,it was just the stress of our lives meant it wasn't working.I dread ending up with no-one for the future.