Online Dating ... and this is a thread for while we are waiting! Dating thread 109

[loobyloo1234]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Well, of course my ex texts me out of the blue. I said no. I refused to stop everything to see him - it was always one-sided with him and I'm not wasting any more energy on him.

Messaged the teacher about meeting up. Feeling brave. Brave and scared. Mainly scared.

Don't be scared

Def don't be scared pringle Have fun with it. When are you meeting him?

Re the Toyboy thing ... I'm 5 weeks in now I think with the 8 years younger He's still lovely. And I'm still not sure how I feel about him ... So annoying. I think we're sort of exclusive we've finally had a snog but I am just going with the flow. Why is it that quite a few of us have these young men after us? I thought we were supposed to be the mature ones ... !

I'm still talking to a few guys on Tinder but no one I particularly like tbh. Just more something to do

Haven't firmed up a date yet. He mentioned an activity that would take hours, I've suggested a coffee. I am definitely not agreeing to anything without an easy exit option for my first time meeting up with anyone!

I almost wish I'd used a full length photo because I'm now paranoid he's not going to like how I look. I have quite a nice face but it doesn't give anything away about my body shape and all men have different preferences. Clearly my confidence is much lower than I thought!

I bet men don't agonise this much... Sigh.

Don't be scared pringle....easy to say as I was beside myself either nerves meeting for date no 2 yesterday!!

We are meeting for the third time on Saturday and are taking my dog out...1st meet was coffee/tea and yesterday was lunch.
Nothing has happened between us, which I'm not sure if that's odd or not...? He gave me a hug when we met yesterday but that's it. I'm not sure what to think, especially if it's usual to dtd on date 3. Or, did these not count as dates iyswim? Confused.
He has disabled his account on OKC , I checked yesterday evening as he's one of my high % matches but wasn't there when I logged on; when I clicked on an old message it said his accounts disabled.
I think I am overthinking everything!!

Just read your other message pringle
I was exactly the same re full length shot, and spent far too long thinking about what to wear to minimise my substantial thighs/backside
I have also been suffering from sub zero confidence on the body shape front!!
I have been talking myself out of this...if they are only interested in my body shape (or lack of!) then they are not worth giving time too. I am working on my body shape/weight at the moment but that is very much for me and his my clothes feel.
If it helps, I bought some really lovely new gel nail varnish and a lipstick prior to date no.1 and it did make me feel like I was making an effort for me as well as to look nice for him. It has been sooooooo long since I dated, I have felt mildly nauseous since putting my profile up!

Ah Pringle you'll be fine! My mate did a full length shot as she is quite overweight (not saying you are) and she didn't want anyone being disappointed. She is on fire online! Honestly she has a date every other weekend.

My last partner was quite younger than me so I'm avoiding the young ones. Have my settings at 2 years younger than me.

So....thoughts. I was supposed to be going out with friends this weekend for Halloween. Really looking forward to it, outfit ect and they've all dropped out this morning

Do you think it's too late to get a tinder date for the weekend? Vaguely chatting with 4 men on tinder. Haven't been on an online date yet so not sure how it works really

Flylittlebird, I started chatting to a man last night, he's just asked if I want to meet for a drink already!!! Not sure if it's a good thing or not?! On the otherhand mr birm who I've been chatting to for about 2 weeks has only just asked to chat on what's app, I'm hoping he's building up to ask for a date but it's a bit slow going, he seems shy, don't want too shy though!!

Not a heffalump but I'm a very curvy 12-14. If I ever agree a date, I'm totally going to the hairdressers beforehand because my hair looks amazing when done properly and if nothing else, it may draw attention away from my lumpy midriff...

I'm avoiding young ones because I work with young ones... Really am terrified of being "caught"! I thought the teacher was brave to use pics, he must be avoiding his pupils.

Fly will you ask for a date then?
There are a couple of you dating younger men and I think it's all new territory but you've already gone past the first date. This young man seems ok and I have agreed to see him but there is quite a difference in our ages (before you recoil in horror I don't look my age at all....not boasting but that is the consensus). He comes across well (which may mean he is very good at hiding that he really is looking for someone for booty calls) as I have stated on pof profile no nsa fun/one nighters/hook ups and asked him if he's read it . Never dated anyone more than a few years difference in age....feels a bit strange, what to expect????

Wingle- go for it! Mr 31 year old asked me for a drink on the evening of day 2 of messaging.

Pringle - I'm 39, very, very, curvy and very tall and Mr 31 is absolutely hot for me........I'm literally fighting him off! I think I'm coming across as quite confident though, so perhaps that is something he's into.

As for nerves, perhaps it excitement?

Date for Friday is still on..........I'm half convincing myself hell cancel!! But!! He asked & he suggested the day and he's still messaging loads, so perhaps I should relax!?! I'm never leaving The OI corner

Hi all!

I'm a newbie to OLD....... and terrified!

Emotionally I'm ready but physically not so... too fat.

Anyway .... I signed up to POF because I thought it was a dating site. How wrong was I?

I've been in phone contact with a guy who's single but he's been too chatty (maybe that's stupid)

Another guy wants friendship with benefits but is married. I'm morally unable to do that.

How on earth can we believe what we're told? Do we trust until proven otherwise?

I'm 15 years with exDH. Pretty much sexless.

I'm gagging for it but am not prepared to shag someone who's married even though it's being offered on a plate.

I'm 40.

Hellllppppp!!!

I had a lovely date on Friday with, shall we call him MrLD (long distance).

My first since dipping into OLD. We'd been chatting for a while but found we lived a little way from one another. I was in his city for the weekend and asked him out for a drink, he only had an hour or two free but we literally didn't shut up for the whole date and I had a lovely time. We've chatted more since and he seems very keen to see me again, I'm trying not to throw myself at him but I'm super keen! I had been wary of the distance (just under 1.5 hours travel) but since meeting him have decided I actually don't care at all because he's worth the effort. 1.5 hours is totally workable right??

I've just messaged him asking if he wants to have dinner this weekend as we're both child free - I'll keep you posted if you keep your fingers crossed for me!

So having swiped no to about a gazillion guys on Tinder I know half a dozen matches and some of them are hot - with a capital H!

All but one have messaged me, three are proper conversations, two are still of the one word variety. Only issue is of the three proper convos, two are ten years younger and one is five years younger. What is it with the youngsters at the moment?!?

One of the others is 12 years younger, he is so fit but I really can't see what's in it for him.

Are you all of the 'taking it in turns' school of messaging? One messaged me with a goodnight, not heard from him today and he was my favourite - shall I message him now?

Fingers crossed for you welsh!

apintofharpandapacketofdates What do you mean too chatty?
Welshmaenad Totally workable yes! Like I said upthread, what is a bit of distance if you're meant to be?
Tess Of course, message him! We really all have nothing to lose when it comes to OLD do we? If they don't reply, their loss isnt it? There does seem to be a problem with the younger guys for a few of us on here. I guess you really just have to go with the flow ... if they're young and fit, what harm can be done

I think I'm just going to ask mr birm if he wants to meet for a drink!!! We seem to be skirting round it! He's being ever so polite about everything, but we have been chatting for weeks! ! Wish me luck!!

Good luck, after 25 years of living with a husband who shagged for England and had two affairs that I know of I left , 8 years on have met and married the most yum man who loves me for who I am and is great to my son we met on dating direct omg so nerve racking but he is shy and so worth the wait

He said yes, be lovely! Why are men such hard work! I think I need a drink! 🍷

Good luck wingle Let us know what he says

Im so happy to hear of actual relationships with younger guys. They're definitely the busiest for me and was happy that it would go nowhere after we met but maybe there could be more? Provided they're not TWENTY years younger than me (see my earlier post)

Am loving this thread!

OLD is a right headfuck! Was messaging a guy last night and tonight, loads in common. Proper back and forth texts, no pauses. I seemed to be asking all the questions so I said it was his turn to ask a few - within seconds he'd unmatched me! WTAF? Why do that? Feel a little bit uncomfortable in case he thought I was angling for him to ask me out, which I wasn't, just wanted a more two sided conversation.

Go wingle!

Ok so he said yes, and has suggested meeting tomorrow night! Trouble is "bumble" has got our distances way off!! So we are going to meet halfway .. Which is still an hour away!

Wingletang1 Good luck, hope the trek proves worth it!

TessMcNess I don't understand it either. I don't think there's any rhyme or reason in this game!

NooNooMummy I met someone tonight who's seeing a younger man. The common thread between women dating younger men is they seem to completely overthink it. I wonder what's going on inside the younger men's heads? I bet they're not stressing and just enjoying things!

Welshmaenad 1.5 hours is completely workable IF you're BOTH feeling it. If he ever stops making the effort to see you and you're the one always travelling, then run away and don't look back!

apintofharpandapacketofdates It's hard getting back on the horse after a long-term relationship.

Mrsfluff Thanks for the reassuring words. I'm having so many wobbles here but I'm coming across as a lot more confident when actually messaging guys!

Thanks everyone for your kind messages. I'm glad I didn't message him, but I do miss him.

wingle sound promising, fingers crossed.
tess rule 6
noo ive never dated a younger man. Let me know how it goes.
pringle curves are wonderful. I am the same size as you, you have nothing to worry about.

Teacher has gone quiet.

Doctor is still quite chatty, but isn't hinting about meeting up like any of the others. Suspect he wants to talk for much longer first which is fine by me, I'm a bit scared of rushing things too. Personality-wise, he seems the best match so far and also might be quite cute (hard to tell from photos, but potentially a looker).

Mr Young is persistent - dropped me a casual message after I ignored him for a bit, so have replied. I'm not sure if he's my type physically, but he's not definitely not my type, so will talk to him for a bit more and see if he manages to make himself sound more appealing!

Mr Nice sounds the loveliest out of everyone, but I don't think he's attractive and the way he's written his profile, I suspect he knows it. I'm tempted to meet him anyway because he seems like a real sweetheart and you never know - objectively a few of my exes are no lookers but I fell for their personalities in real life.

Starting to feel a bit more confident about this, thank you ladies - I've even messaged a few men first. :)