Online Dating ... and this is a thread for while we are waiting! Dating thread 109

[loobyloo1234]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Sky I think it's an initial meeting type date. Neither of you has to commit to anything so can just chat and see how it feels.

BaklavaBalaclava - dress code being knickers or not 😂😂

Psss you ask that before you meet - wondering what you check for date 2? 😂

Well, the first date with Mr Wildcard lasted about 3 times as long and with Mr Doctor. It was really easy talking to him - yes, there were a very pauses but we also laughed quite hard a few times and I think he's quite funny. Funny is really important to me.

He both did and didn't look like his profile picture, but to be fair, I think I also both do and don't look like mine. I don't know how much chemistry there was but I feel like I'd definitely like to kiss him to find out if there is anything there. Sometimes you just can't tell until you kiss someone.

I will see him again, I think.

Are second dates scarier than first dates?

** as with Mr Doctor

Clearly I can't type after wine.

Sky, that definitely sounds like a date. A real life iron!!

Pringle, I agree, you reasreaslly need to kiss Mr Wildcard. Good kissing is important to me, so I like to check that out quite soon.

Saw Mr 31 last night, he came over whilst the teenager was out. It was lovely, lots of chatting and laughing and more incredibly hot sex. We're now friends on Facebook and have made plans for my birthday in 3 weeks. I still don't know where its going, but I like him more and more and he's 'rather besotted' with me. He coming tomorrow for pizza and film night with me and the teenager

You are so cool MrsFluff. You'll have to change his name soon to MrFluff!

Thanks for the help lilac - something you said has made it clear to me - I'm going to abandon Mr Hot fling, and focus on the person who is actually interested in me not some figment of their own imagination...

Sounds good Pringlecat

Mrsfluff Kinda sounds like you're properly dating Mr 31 now. It all seems to be going really well, fingers crossed you can say goodbye to OLD soon.

I need to find a day to see Mr Wildcard next - we both agreed we'd like a second date. Do I keep talking to my other irons? See them? Mr Teacher and Mr Young keep wanting to meet up and Mr Sweet I think is going to angle for a date soon.

I've just realised that a message I sent to Mr Young never arrived, so he probably already thinks I'm ignoring him. I sent it when I had low signal and it didn't occur to check to me whether it had failed.

I over-invest too soon. I don't really want to talk to my other irons, but I feel like I should keep the conversations going, just in case.

BaklavaBalaclava See rule 7. Read it a few times.

Ooh Mrs Fluff! Go you!

I have my period AGAIN
Sorry for TMI but what is going on? Is Mother Nature trying to keep me celibate? Seeing Mr Shy tonight so most action Will yet again be out of bounds and I am very sick of my body messing me about. I have an IUD so I don't understand why this happens

Myusername that is not bloody fair! How frustrating!

MrsFluff, how blooming wonderful! I'm going to do a happy dance for you right now!

So I saw Photographer Man for ten minutes yesterday: he drove an hour and a half from his home to pick up his 4 year old son at school for the weekend. I wanted to make a small gesture after keeping him away for over a month and cancelling twice on him. The effects of those 10 minutes have been quite phenomenal (or should I write pheromonal ) I was buzzing all day and he has been sending my the most amazing sms which have expressed the joy and desire he feels because of me. Wow! He's stepped up from Mr Discrete who was holding back.

And maybe, just maybe this show that giving things time does create desire and attachment? Who knows.

Morning all
So i'm single once again ...
I couldn't do it face to face, did it over text in the end. He took it quite well in fairness to him.
I don't think I've ever been a 'dumpee' ... I feel guilty and like a horrible person. Makes me wonder how any of these people that ghost after a few months can live with themselves tbh

loobyloo1234 - sadly I think it comes with practice the ghosting.

So Mr Toyboy declined my friend request on FB and has labelled it spam to stop me requesting again, there isn't a photo of me on the profile to be fair but how many people in his life have my name. So I guess we are over

Have you heard from him otherwise?

I get how are you texts every day, not this morning but he was working til midnight last night so he might still be in bed. He will text "you ok" if it comes and I want to say no not really but that'll push him away. Not sure I'm that bothered though tbh.

I've watched that Matthew hussey video and am re evaluating. I do wear my heart in my sleeve I thought that was part of my appeal but seems to just attract piss takers

Sooooo date three is Sunday and he is cooking for me - e.g we will be AT HOME. What are people's thoughts on mooseburgers at this stage? After yet another bad breakup I'm feeling a little reckless and sexually frustrated so tempted to go for it...

Crazycat1980 Well, what are you looking for? Something serious or a bit of fun? How would you feel if this didn't go anywhere other than mooseburgers? Decide what you want and where to draw your line before you go over, because in the moment, anything could happen if you don't have a plan. It may be that after your last breakup, mooseburgers with a nice man is just what you need to get your confidence back, or it may be that actually, you're not emotionally ready. Have a think beforehand.

Pisssssedofff TBH, it doesn't sound like any of the dates you've lined up have been catches. It might be time to revaluate your profile/pictures and start actively messaging different types of men. You definitely deserve better than this guy!

loobyloo1234 Breaking up is always horrible. Ghosting in a way is worse, because you're not quite sure if you have definitely broken up. It's weird.

ThisIsTheRightTime Sounds like an amazing 10 minutes.

Any thoughts on when I should suggest a second date and what I should do on one? I don't think I've ever dated a strange man before, I've only ever dated people I've known as friends already or people who have been friends of friends. I am so out of my depth here...

Quick update ... Mr birm is very keen and we have date 3 tomorrow. But no kissing so far, wondering if there's a spark. He's said he wants to kiss me tomorrow and sends me messages about things he wants to do to me!! . Had no action for 2 years so excited by this but .... I really click with mr mountain bike, we message all the time and I've stalked his Facebook so know he's genuine! He wanted to meet for 1st date tomorrow, but that's when I'm seeing mr birm!! Then he has his daughter all week while ex away! So feeling a bit like I want to take it slowly with mr birm until I meet mr mountain bike!!

hi, first post on here so be gentle with me ladies...
im the first to admit im not the greatest at online dating - probably due to being unphotogenic!!
Ive been divorced 6 years, no serious relationships since then..the world of OLD is a minefield. To expand my social circle I joined a dance class, main aim was to meet people with a similar interest and hopefully new friends who are single!!
A few months in Ive been having a few laughs with one woman, similar outlook, single, she doesn't have any kids, 8 years younger than me..she adds me on FB and we end up texting, etc...I tell her I need to practice my dance routines to improve and she offers to help out! All good so far.
In between, the texting gets a bit flirty, she says shes looking for the same as me..a relationship, etc - all the right signals given out by her, especially as ive grown tired of the OLD scene and realise that I want to be with someone.
So we arrange for me to go to hers for some "dance practice", eventually leading to mooseburgers (if that's the right terminology for sex here!!)..all great..
This happened a couple more times (I never stayed over at her request), she even used the L word a couple of times. As in "..making love, not shagging ..." (maybe reading too much into that)
Then suddenly she called it all off stating that she "had nothing to offer"..obviously im a bit confused/upset by this as I thought this had some future.
The main difficulty being that I still see her at classes.
Eventually I learn from her that during a conversation we had I said a couple of things that annoyed her - she didn't say at the time and I didn't notice, it was quite insignificant really...
I've kept my distance, stopped texting her (one of things she liked about me was that I wasn't easily shocked by some of the things she said!).

Was she just after sex? if so why didn't she say that at the outset?
Its all really confusing, she even told her mum about us at the time...which sort of indicated that this was a developing relationship.

any advice from the wise women of mumsnet?? :-)

Thanks Pringle. I think I just want fun at the moment. Too soon for anything else.
He's being a bit full on tho and that's beginning to scare me off....

Crazycat1980 If you just want some fun, go for it.

Hi guy - we've had some odd things going on from one particular man men posting here, so if you feel ignored, tis because people are still upset after what someone posted before.

I'd say - people try to have relationships - it's really hard to say what makes the difference between a click and no click - so we won't be able to tell you - I doubt the woman in question really knows herself - she wanted to see if there was enough between you, but in the end she felt there wasn't.... These things are hard to pin down and explain to people...

Onwards and upwards, I'd say - lets hope the next person you try to date fits better with you... Rule no7 applies both to both genders!

I'm just waiting for a taxi,
I have am meeting a guy, then we will see a film.

OMG.....

Guy are you sure that the couple of things that annoyed her were insignificant to her?

You sound thoughtful, but maybe missed what had gone wrong?

Pringle why not contact your date and say "had a good date, would be good to meet again"? See what he suggests, nothing to lose?

I'm waiting for date 3 (Sun), lots of messages so feel it could work out. Not looking at OLD as we both agreed we prefer dating one person at a time. If this doesn't work out I'll prob have break over Christmas!

I'm officially late. Still waiting for taxi.

Good luck for date Evil