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Relationships

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Online Dating ... and this is a thread for while we are waiting! Dating thread 109

999 replies

loobyloo1234 · 24/10/2016 13:51

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP
OP posts:
ThisIsTheRightTime · 08/11/2016 21:18

Wrists indeed! He's seen a bit more of me than that Bant (we were at a wedding a month ago when he confessed his feelings for me).

I'm just assuming that what will be will be. If we're meant to get it together we will, if not, bloody good friends (we both want more but what the heck) would be pretty ok with me.

ThisIsTheRightTime · 08/11/2016 21:22

Ah, yes, Myusername! I've just realised that on Saturday when we were talking for five hours straight he mentioned on several occasions how much he's been wanting to have a proper night out with me. Which means, proper drinking! I live out of the city so am really careful what I drink as I need to drive. Yes, he really, really wants us both to go out, drink together and party! Ha! Dutch courage it is then and .... Blush It's all becoming clearer now Bant! Stupid me for not picking that up.

Myusernameismyusername · 08/11/2016 21:31

He took me to a really super romantic place and STILL DIDNT KISS ME so I just leaned over and did it then giggled

Bant · 08/11/2016 21:34

The wrists thing is an old tip from here on how to get a man to make a move, when he's being reticent. It works, apparently, although I have no idea why.

I think it all depends on the man, and the friendship. Sometimes you just have to say 'would you like to go to bed?' and suddenly he'll realise that it's not impolite to take things further.

I was at a conference today for work, and there was a woman there who caught my eye. She was attractive, looked at me and smiled. I smiled back without wanting to seem creepy. I was watching the talk and talking to a colleague and when I glanced round again, she was looking at me, and again smiled.

So I checked, and she had a ring on her ring finger, however it was a black stone - not sure if that means anything.

At lunch she comes over to talk to me. She's a recruiter, do I have any vacancies.

So. I do, we chat business, she gives me her card.

Now is this a woman who's doing business and being friendly and professional, or someone flirting a bit. I don't know. Women often flirt a bit as part of their work life anyway. Men do too.

Signals are a bugger.

Bant · 08/11/2016 21:35

That would also work, myusername

Lilacpink40 · 08/11/2016 22:05

Date 3 for me tomorrow. We've been in contact regularly over two weeks. I know we'll definitely be kissing as did at end of last date, but not sure if more.

I'm considering your advice bant that waiting can be good from a man's perspective. I think I like the idea of seducing rather than everything served up in one go.

ThisIsTheRightTime · 08/11/2016 22:16

I love Bant's advice!

There's flirting with a purpose and then there's flirting for desire! Wink

Myusernameismyusername · 08/11/2016 22:25

I don't think I am good at flirting. I used to be but when it's purposeful it just feels cheesy. I try to find a really deep topic that will make it more intense and then do some eye gaze stuff and then get all tactile
I probably am more seducing than flirting

Bant · 08/11/2016 22:27

I find it difficult to tell the difference

Forme2016 · 08/11/2016 22:28

I also love Bant's advice but am regretting a little bit but not entirely the moose burgers served to Mr Nuclear on Saturday. We have messaged constantly since and are seeing each other again on Saturday so will have to show him how lovely and funny I am without sleeping with him this time not making any promises Wink

Myusernameismyusername · 08/11/2016 22:30

If I am not seducing a man I will be funny and happy and have a great time but it feels more like mates than a sexy date.

Forme2016 · 08/11/2016 22:37

Me being "funny and lovely" wasn't serious btw, I try but I'm not confident I'm either Blush

Lilacpink40 · 08/11/2016 22:44

Isn't seducing like flirting but on a deeper level?

So "you look happy to see me" with lots of eye contact and smile is just flirty. Whereas "I think I could make you happy", direct eye contact and knowing smile or biting lower lip is seducing?

Myusernameismyusername · 08/11/2016 22:46

I probably don't do low level flirting, it's not intentional I just be me having a nice time

Bant · 08/11/2016 22:47

I should point out, by the way, that anything I say may not represent the perspective of men in general, as I'm a statistically small sample of the one bloke who posts on here without being too much of a twat, hopefully, and I can't be held accountable for any other mans actions or any perspectives I give which anyone follows.

Bant · 08/11/2016 22:50

I flirt a lot, apparently, without meaning to. I'm like you myusername- in that I'm generally just having a good time. That's got me into trouble in the past.

Probably flirting is sending the message 'I might be interested, possibly' compared to seduction which is 'go to bed with me now'

Myusernameismyusername · 08/11/2016 22:52

Haha I have got into a lot of trouble too so I try to not flirt ever and only get out the seduction when required but I think my usual happy self has been taken as flirting on many occasions

Myusernameismyusername · 08/11/2016 22:53

I regularly have been accused of being a flirt by exes because I am a people person (it's my job too) and I can easily engage people, get on their level and have a conversation. It used to drive me mad because to me, flirting would be making it obvious I am receptive to more whereas my natural persona is open and smiley and friendly.

Bant · 08/11/2016 23:02

Mine too

Donatello68 · 08/11/2016 23:37

Sorry Bant...how does the wrist thing work?

Lilacpink40 · 08/11/2016 23:48

Don I heard the inner wrist thing is about sincerity. So put your hands out palms up when you answer a question. Apparently it's what people do if being honest.

Donatello68 · 08/11/2016 23:49

Oh ok, thanks Lilac. Interesting - will give it a whirl!

singleandfabulous · 09/11/2016 00:26

Well, I had amazing mooseburgers with AudiDriver tonight, ending the six week famine. Apparently, I hadnt been picking up on his hints to get together over recent weeks while texting/calling. Honestly! I told him in future just to say - "can i come and see you?" Saves all these problems. Apparently, Im always the one who ends texts/calls too so he feels 'unwanted' Confused We need to talk more and say what we want I think. I thought he was pulling away and didnt want to bother him.

Ive heard the showing of inner wrists means that youre open to approach and unthreatening.

Crazycat1980 · 09/11/2016 07:17

So I have date number two tonight with Mr Tinder and he said he is looking forward to 'pizza and kisses'..... cute or presumptuous?

Lilacpink40 · 09/11/2016 14:07

Crazy I think cute. Presumptious would be 'pizza and kisses sat in your bed'?

Well my date is off. His DS is ill. Have a new date arranged but can only meet for a few hours Sad

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