Online Dating ... and this is a thread for while we are waiting! Dating thread 109

[loobyloo1234]

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

I'll go with cute then...

My date tonight is off too Lilac - he's vomiting and has a temperature. Second time he's cancelled, don't know whether to persevere or just walk away now :(

OMG!! I just sent my first two 'winks' (match.com btw) - hope they respond - one in particular looks and sounds really nice from his profile.

How long should I leave it after winking before messaging them? Or should I wait for them to wink back? So tempting to check every five minutes

I like that crazycat. Wouldnt put me off.

Blobby I'd wait a day as they may not check today.

Coughing I think the cancellation was genuine, and yours could be too, it's time of year for bugs to thrive in heated homes. My instant reaction is to start thinking 'what if' scenarios though. Like 'what if he's not really bothered and I'm strung along for 6 months?'

Thanks guys - date is in about five minutes. I have had a quick gin as Dutch courage. I think the kissing being in writing IS cute but also adds pressure....

Good luck crazy have fun and try and relax, hopefully the kissing will just happen naturally

I hope the date is going well Crazy!

Blobby, I'd probably wait now, if I were you and see if they check out your profile.

Hi all I just wanted to ask a quick question to you clever ladies.

Have had 3 dates with Mr poker he's gone away for a big birthday with a bunch of male friends he's not home yet been away 5 days but in that time no text or any contact. I gotta admit I'm pissed but do I tell him when he's back and messages me

Catty how far along are you in 3 dates? If you're already developing a connection I would have assumed that he would have said he'd txt you. Then you should feel fed-up.

If you're still talking about basic life, e.g. likes and dislikes then he may be seeing others and not worry about texting if he's busy.

You could send a simple "how is the break going?" message to see his response.

We are 3 dates in but have mutual friends things started early in the year but fizzled out long distance he got in contact again and then the dates. He's not seeing anyone else (mutual friends or spies). I think he's a bit pants at relationships but although I don't play games I can't decide if I call him on it I don't want to message him while he's away but grr

Just checking in after a hard days work.
The guy that was going to go to the cinema with me hasn't replied. I'm not chasing anyone.

Mr friend zone is looking more appealing. I'm off to bed.

Ok Girls joining in this thread been reading since last week and lol alot...

So been OLD for a number of months

Dates so far have consisted of
I am guilty of playing 1
being Played by 1
being bored to death by 1
being called a cunt by 1

All these are dates....

The latest well
Date 1 - absolutely thought he was much nicer in RL both in Pics and talking
Date 2 - Mooseballs he was literally a 10 second wonder in that dept I thought he had just got over excited
Date 3 - Just drinks and a snog = good again
Date 4 - Me starting to feel abit of a booty call (this would be on my terms not his) Mooseballs was probably 25% better ( I thought with LOTS of room for improvement stop/start)
He has called me 3 x a day from morning to evening every day since we met... All men bar him I would of got shut of for being clingy BUT I OI in him cause I liked him

This week though his conversations have included calling various women who he knows in his day - day life as slags, bitches blah blah which I didnt like at all.

Currently I have alot going on in my on personal life ie House for sale, Potential job issues, Teenager problems All of which I kind of brush over in order to keep the conversation light and cheerful.

His conversation tends to revolve around HIM and his work and him and his work and his calling the admin girl at his work, the butty lady at his work, his ironing lady, the women driving behind him flashing her lights at him, the women.. are all slags or bitches.

Tonight I've listened to his ranting then relayed my concerns for my 1st house viewing tomorrow evening.. At which point I realised he was sighing and clearly bored about my part of our conversation.. He is a widow he has told me all about his late wife I have listened.. I am a widow I have only discussed very small parts of that..

But suddenly in a flash realised my conversation appeared to bore him.. Like I said I dont tend to discuss negative, emotional stuff as I dont want/like to dwell

I have had a very busy week at work was trying to engage in conversation about that as he had told EVERYTHIING about his working week

I suddenly realised he wasnt listening and told him there and then halfway through a "so called conversation" on the phone to do one... As I just didnt think he was interested at all and he actually doesnt really kno anything about me inspite of all these conversations we had supposedly had

sorry for long ness of post but needed to share

This is why I'm single, I just can't cope with that shit Wow

Wow this isn't your DH you're talking about, it's a new date. If you were talking about DH like that I'd say leave him, with a date just tell him you don't like the way he communicates and run for freedom!

ha ha I have run for freedom

and successfully managed to resume conversation with 3 of my irons...

damn arrogant fool.

Well done Wow! Dating is supposed to be fun, right! Which dating sites are everyone using? Given up with Times Encounters....too many randy old goats!!

A lot people have told me "if you're not having fun, stop." I suspect that's good advice.

Seeing Mr Wildcard tomorrow. Been messaging Mr Sweet and actually, he's an iron that's growing on me. I am both excited and sad about meeting Mr Wildcard tomorrow, because if there's no chemistry, he's another really interesting sounding match crossed off...

Wise move Wow

So my date last night was nice. And as promised, there was snogging! Wouldn't say I'm smitten but it's fun and he could be a grower.

Morning all
Been missing for a few days due to a work trip. Everyone seems to still be going well with their dates/BF’s

I am seeing Toyboy tonight and I’m going to have to end things somehow After everyone’s advice last week, I’ve decided I don’t think I would miss him after all … I feel terrible. He messaged loads when I was away and I just wasn’t interested. Back to OLD at some point for me FFS, I am never going to meet someone waaahhhhh

had 3rd date with man I met a few weeks again saw The Body Guard last night and had a kiss after work. Not bad.

Hopefully seeing Widower next week.

Just wanted to make you aware - not everyone on OLD is who they say they are - NI Banker (can give you details) who I'd arranged to meet I think this time last week at a London pub (2nd date) has been in touch on and off tit for tat rubbish and he now informs me along with a photo that he is married... no other signs but someone mentioned this the other week. I'd like to say I'm not hurt but got period so probably more emotional than would be otherwise.

Well this is exciting and slightly terrifying. A man I was chatting up on tinder, in Australia in January is coming home for Christmas. His nan lives in the same street as my parents. Have gone all giddy and forgotten all about all other dates

super I've come across this before it makes me 😡
Just always wise to keep your wits about you we don't know these people after all. Only what the tell us.

looby urghh indont envy you, good luck!

So I have a question. If you were chatting to someone you met online, getting on great and had arranged to meet for a first date, then they dropped in that they ha did previously kissedor slept with men but preferred women, how would you feel? My initial reaction was ewww and just no but since then, I miss chatting to him and wonder if I was hasty. How would anyone else feel? Is it a deal breaker or am I being over sensitive? Everyone has a past right? But I have enough hang ups as it is about my body and being naked with a man without adding into the mix the fact he may not be into women!

SuperFlyHigh. Not gloating please don't take it that way but I knew it !
I was "seeing" a French orthopaedic surgeon who could never quite seem to find his wallet when it came to booking train tickets to see me, but the messages, photos etc came thick and fast. I can spot them a mile off now but it takes being burnt a few times

Catty he should have texted you or said he was going to if he was away in my book