Just found out he's having an affair..

[3yearsnosleep]

Saw the texts and emails. He's going round in the morning apparently 'to make her blush'. She's his mates wife. What do I do???? Feel sick and have 2 little ones to look after.

I mean, for gods sake-you've only just had a baby 3 months ago?. sorry that bit only just jumped out at me.
Wtf is the matter with these people?

Sorry I hadn't read the full thread properly! Hope you are ok OP. Still go on holiday without the lying, cheating scumbag.
Have you been able to confide in someone in rl?

I'm so sorry
I hope karma comes and bites the nasty cunts in the ass.

You and your poor children.

I hope people look at them with disgust- it serves them right.

So sad and enraged for you, OP.

What a pair of scummy dick heads they both are!

If you want to still go on the holiday OP then you go!Don't let him or what he's done stop you,getting away might be really good for you.

I presume the holiday was booked for all of you is there anyone else that you'd want to go away with you and the children?Maybe a close friend or relative,someone that would be there for you,that could have the children can give you a break now and again whilst your away,someone that would be good support?

I think you did the right thing letting the husband know,I think it was very kind of you to be thinking about someone else's feelings when your going through so much yourself.

I hope you can still go on holiday, take a sibling mum or friend. You're better off finding out his true colours while the kids are so young - although it'll be really hard on you of course, they'll be less aware of the change (assuming you split up) than if they were a few years older, I think. Hope you have some RL support. Hugs. What a stupid thing to do for both of them.

I'm sat here thinking about selling the house, child maintenance etc. and I honestly feel like I haven't got the energy to go through any of it. I've only just had a baby, I hardly get any sleep as it is. I'm utterly exhausted as it is.

Child maintenance will sort itself, you don't need to worry about that. Just a short phone call, they'll do the rest.

Things feel really dark now, but this is the worst part. It will get better and you will come out the other side.

It's normal for you to be feeling like this right now OP,it's a shit way to have to feel but it is normal I promise.

I ended a serious relationship because of my exs behaviour and I was on my own with young DC and I was pregnant,I was terrified but I got through it and mine and my DC's lifes were a lot better once I was no longer having to deal with all the problems he was causing.

The best advice I can give is take any genuine support and help that's offered to you,be kind to yourself and take time out for yourself when you can and don't ever blame yourself for what he's done,he's a grown man and he made the decision to be an arse,what he's done is not because of you and it's not your fault!

Id go to the persons address and confront them be strong and throw him out

3years I'm so sorry- what utter scum they both are

Is there anyone in RL who could come over to support you?

Well he didn't put up a fight then! Before he walked

Get your head straight first, look after yourself that means
Eating, rest, sleeping(well as much as you can) as you will need strength

Don't waste your time and energy on going through things, you will need it to look after yourself.

Don't pick up his calls or answer text, it will just get nasty and your just getting over a massive shock.

If he's paying the mortgage let him😀 Get some revenge in the pocket where it hurts, you won't hurt him he's got what he wanted.
If his parents ring/call tell them he's out and to ring him as he's got something to tell them!

Hope you managed a bit of sleep op.
You don't need to decide anything about the house or any of it straight away.
Give yourself some time to absorb what you have found out. And also be prepared to find out more unfortunately as that's often the way it goes. Make an appointment with a solicitor for a few weeks from now-then you've time to get all your paperwork out ready.
Please tell people in rl.i can't reiterate enough how much you will need support in the next few months-it's roller coaster I found-some days angry, some days sad, some days in full on Gloria gaynor I will survive mode. Eventually you will feel more Gloria than sad-whatever you decide to do- but it takes time to get there.

Thanks for asking about me. It's been a very long and lonely night. I'm going to ask my mum to come over asap to help me with the kids and I'll talk it through with her. Not ideal as I didn't want to drag her into it but she'd find out sooner or later. My parents will hate him more than anything.

I'm just so gutted, I have two beautiful, amazing daughters. This is supposed to be the happiest time of my life, I'm watching the baby chuckle, roll over, sit up etc for the first time and it all means the world to me, while he's booking hotel rooms for afternoon shags??! Seriously??!

He is an utter twat for doing what he has done and losing you.

But you will get through this, you are strong enough. It will be really shit for bit but then you get to the other side and look back and think 'thank fuck'

Keep trying to eat, keep dehydrated and just go through the motions of the day with the kids. This worst bit will pass soon.

Didn't want to read and run OP but hope you're ok. Try and get something into your stomach even if its only a bite. You're strength and resolve will surprise you because of your girls and get your mum or a friend round asap. It seems huge to reveal this to someone else, and it a) makes it real b) feels humiliating c) you know that they'll always view him differently, but you need help. Even just to let you get some rest later on today. And get the proverbial 'house' in order financially! Joint bank accounts (make sure he can't empty them), bank statements, etc. Sending hugs xx

A huge thanks to everyone who has commented on this thread. You really helped me get through a shitty night xx

You poor thing 💐 It's good that your mums coming over so you can get some rest and be looked after.

My exh did this, about 6 years ago now. They're still together and have just bought a house. It's actually fine, I have a boyfriend who is amazing and a good relationship with my ex as we share residency of the kids and he's a great dad, much better now than when we were together funnily!

The partner of the OW (at the time) was his best friend, they'd known each other since they were kids. He's also moved on and is happy with someone else. Occasionally we all socialise together, all water under the bridge now but at the time it kicked off massively and lots of people got hurt, but time does heal, it really does.

I guess what I'm saying is yes it's painful and awful now, but your life is not over, it's just gonna be different now. Your future no longer looks like how you thought it would and that's a huge shock. But things will be ok, one way or another. You will get through it, I promise xx

(And move quickly with the legal side of things, while he's still guilt ridden)

Hope your feeling ok OP

What goes around comes around.
Stay strong. I'm glad you have a support network to help you through. Get a nice cuppa and think positive. You can do this

I'm.so sorry, I have a three month old too and am barely upright, I hope you get good support from your family at this difficult time. Best wishes to you and your daughters x

"it was just once but they liked it" - sounds like they thought just once was okay, as if it were something everyone did

pair of selfish idiots

Op, when I found out ex cheated on me, I lived on sweet milky coffee, 3 sugars and full fat milk. It was the only thing I had that didn't taste like cardboard, and despite losing weight quickly I didn't get too underweight. I swear the coffee saved me until I could face eating again. Obviously if your breast feeding then you might want to force food into you.

Holding your hand op, you will get through this, it'll just take baby steps.

Just checking in, glad your Mum is coming over.
I really hope you don't keep this rat's, mucky little antics, under wraps, he deserves no protection.
You will get through this painful time.Is there any chance that you could still take the holiday you paid for, perhaps with your Mum, or a close friend?
Or maybe get a refund.
I hope today, you find some comfort, please remember that you've had a nasty shock, be kind to yourself 💐💐💐

I'm so glad you are getting your mum in for support.
If this happened to my daughter I would so so so want to be there for her.
I made the huge mistake of keeping my ExH dirty little secret.
It's hell when you have to go through it alone.
My advice is always to get it out there.
Tell everyone what a shit he is.
This is not YOU at all.
This is all HIM.
You have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about (although we all do blame ourselves to begin with)
Keep yourself hydrated and your sugar levels.
I couldn't eat solids so sugary tea and ice lollies got me through the first few weeks.
It's a shock for you so try to keep busy.
Take each hour at a time.
Do not worry about monies or anything like that right now.
Just get some love and support around you and take it from there.
for you. It's a horrible awful time.
You will get through it though.

Do what is best for you and the kids.

He is an utter spineless coward. I am so sorry you are going through this. The shock is immense. Gather your friends and family around you, take all help and support offered and even if you just have smoothies and yoghurt and Belvita just eat what you can when you can. You will be ok. You deserve so much better than him.

Just wanted to send you some more moral support.

Please (especially if your baby is BF) try and look after yourself in terms of drinking lots of fluid and maybe just some snacky food like flapjacks and nuts. You're going to need all the strength you can muster.

Hope your mum is there looking after all 3 of you.