Just found out he's having an affair..

[3yearsnosleep]

Saw the texts and emails. He's going round in the morning apparently 'to make her blush'. She's his mates wife. What do I do???? Feel sick and have 2 little ones to look after.

I think you did the right thing, I second the pp saying to clear the bank account. Well done.

Poor you OP, that's just awful. Hope you're ok.

I literally despair at these threads. So many tossers treating the mother of their children with utter contempt and disrespect, and so many silly little women willing to be complicit in these shitty shenanigans.

Tell her partner, OP. Fuck it. Neither of them deserve protecting. You are going to have to do enough of that with your kids over the next few months.

She told her husband and I filled him in on the details. Seems like it had happened once but they both enjoyed it so it was the start of something. Two families destroyed in one afternoon. My God. How can I tell my friends and my parents for god's sake??! They will be absolutely devastated.

Let him tell them. He is at fault here. Do accept help where it is offered though. You may find you need your friends and family at a time like this.

Have you got someone with you OP? I'm so sorry this has happened.

I'm sure his parents will be oh so proud of him, breaking up the home of their grandchildren for a fling with his best friend's wife. What a prat.

Tell his mate. Financially you're on your own other than maintenance. If you stay in the house then you pay the. Ills and mortgage you'd get benefits but they won't pay the mortgage. If you move and rent they pay the rent though

That perennial mantra 'He's only sorry because he's been found out', I bet he wouldn't have been when he was with her.
I would tell your parents what he's done and your friends too so you get support op.
With a bit of luck his 'best mate' will belt him one.

Don't worry about anyone else! They will be devastated for you. Right now you just need to focus on getting yourself and your children through this shock.

Don't worry about how your friends and parents will be. It's lovely you're worried they'll be upset, but be gentle on yourself, right now the people that matter are you and your DC.

Do you have someone with you OP? Have you eaten? I know it sounds silly, but just try and make yourself a cuppa and have a biscuit or something. It's shock.

My heart aches for you and your babies. Some men aren't worth a light!

Well done op! you are much stronger than I would have been... You have my admiration and support
Hope the pair of weasels get everything they deserve..as you rightly put it 2 families have been impacted by this. How utterly selfish of them! I hope you get plenty of roll support

Real life support* was what I meant

It looks like he booked a hotel room - for the afternoon. How classy. I can't eat but I feel really sick. It's so ironic that the kids are asleep and I'm so desperate for sleep. I feel like I'm in some soap opera or something. We're supposed to be going on holiday next week and I've just paid for it!

3years - I am so sorry this has happened. It is not fair. Can you go on holiday with someone else (your Mum?) instead? You are being really strong.

So many men get caught the very first time they stray...

None of them ever seem to manage it twice!

Don't listen to him right now. 1 time or 1,000 times right now it makes no difference.

It is in his best interests to minimise in the hope you will feel sorry for and forgive him. This is far more unlikely if you find out he and she were at it like rabbits every day.

I think it takes a special sort of cunt to cheat not only on his wife but his mate. Utter sleaze.

You can still go on holiday. Get away from it all, without him.

What an arsehole you and your DC don't deserve it. I'm a big believer in karma.

I was just about to say it's funny how it's always 'just once'

I am sorry you are going through this, please think about telling someone in RL who can support you.

So sorry to hear this 3 what a horrible shock. I hope you can tell someone tonight who can support you and help you tomorrow with the children.

OP, I'm so sorry this has happened.

Your husband and the OW are vile. It's bad enough to have an affair but to do it so close to home. To betray friends as well as a partner is unforgivable.

Please tell people.
It's easy to feel like it's your shame in losing your marriage, but really it's his shame. He did this, not you.
Get it out there so people can support you.

You just tell your friends and family the truth.You don't need to protect him and it's not your shame it's his.You will be surprised at how many people offer support and lean on them as much as you can as you need to look after yourself now-these first few days and weeks are the worst.
As pp said can you get someone else to go on the holiday with you? It might help to get away and get some thinking space.
And do eat-even just a few biscuits.
I'm so sorry op.

Oh god I'm so sorry OP!

Tell the mate first.

Tell him to pack a bag and leave ASAP.

Do not let him get away with this, you and your darling babies deserve so much more!