Just found out he's having an affair..

[3yearsnosleep]

Saw the texts and emails. He's going round in the morning apparently 'to make her blush'. She's his mates wife. What do I do???? Feel sick and have 2 little ones to look after.

Tell his mate sooner rather than later so they don't have a chance to get their stories straight and '3yearsnosleep got the wrong end of the stick/was confused'.

Also the longer you leave it the more you worry/think about it.

And where will your P try to go if you ask him to leave? Straight there?

Tell his mate now, today, this minute. And when DP comes home, tell him you know and that you have told his mate and that he must leave. Tonight, immediately. He can kip on another mate's sofa or go to the nearest Travelodge, it's not something for you to be concerned about.

I'd forward the screenshots to his friend now.

Then when he gets home I'd have a bag packed for him, keep a key in the door and when he rings the bell, open the door, hand him his back and the print outs of the emails.

And before anyone says: I know that legally you can't stop him entering his own home but I would hope that he'd have the decency to just fuck off after what he's done.

I'm sorry, OP.

I'd tell him now, then you can tell your H that.

Is there some one you can call to be with you?

What a shock for you. Pair of lowlife's they are.

Pair of scumbags. You'll get through this OP x

I'd talk to your partner in private. This could be the end of the relationship, but it could be worked through. I'd be wary of all the Mumsnet advice and take some time to think. Or discuss it with someone you are close to and trust like your mum or best friend. It's possible you could regret making the whole thing too public.

Sorry this has happened and especially when the kids are so tiny.

Personally I wouldn't tell just yet as men can be very violent in these situations. A mate of my brothers got jailed for beating someone almost to death over something like this. Just be wary. Tell him if you want but not in a way where he can catch them in the act so to speak.

Horrible shock.

What a horrible shock. Agree with others re. getting yourself organised before confronting him.

Mate's wife hasn't exactly covered herself in glory and deserves a kick in the pants.

If you boot him out you must take some legal advice first. Bide your time till you know where you stand - hard I know, but could prevent a lot of hassle later.

sending my love to you

X

What a pair of shits they both are!

I'm sorry this has happened to you OP,I don't know what's wrong with some people.Like others have suggested collect as much proof as you can and with legal advice the CAB are very good and they're help is free
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/relationships/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/

That link might be worth having a read through until you can contact someone for help with the legal side if you decide to end the relationship.

I honestly would get everything sorted in your own head before letting on to him. Get some advice from a solicitor.

Take your time but don't let him dictate how you feel or what you do.

I'm so sorry. Seems like there are a lot of people who have no idea what they have.

Rainbow if the alternative to Mumsnet advice is to tell a woman she can work it out with a man who's fucking someone else, then I'd rather stick with the Mumsnet advice.

On his way out tomorrow I'd say I know where you are going you disgust me. He will probably bullshit etc but I would say nothing else. Do NOT tell his friend he could loose it and do some serious damage and end up in trouble he is also a victim here. I wouldn't discuss it then other than to say how lucky we are to have him as a husband, father & friend. Don't let on how you know or anything else.

You poor thing :(

Get someone to look after the kids, and invite a good friend round. Then sit DH down and ask him to explain himself and discuss what to do next.

The friend will be embarrassed, but will be there to hold your hand (be a witness, calm things down), and give you extra support (you'll need it).

Don't tell anyone else yet. You'll want time to decide what you want to tell them calmly. You also don't want to balls up your negotiating position.

Then kick the bd out.

Aww, you poor love. Get round there and make them both blush !
Seriously though, don't keep this to yourself, for one minute.
You have had a nasty shock sweetheart,
Let her husband know, don't protect yours, the dirty rat.
We are all here for you, all day, all night and always. 💐💐💐

When is he due home OP?

Is there anything ambiguous in the emails that mean he could squirm out of it?

Ideally, you say nothing tonight, have the mate catch them in flagrante delicto tomorrow, and have his stuff on the doorstep when he comes home with a black eye around 10am, but I suppose things never happen that neatly!

I'm really really sorry though, you must be stunned with the shock. Have you got anybody to talk to? You're not the one to be embarrassed here - only him.

Have put a bag on the doorstep with the email in it. I wouldn't be able to keep up the pretence. He'll be home in ten mins.

The friend has a right to know. But do you think you're in the right place to do it? I can imagine your heads everywhere right now.

I don't know what you're relationship is with OW, but could you tell her she has 24 hours to tell him or you will? She needs to account for her actions to him. You have the evidence, so if she tries to b.s. her way out of it, you have proof.

As others have said get solicitor, cab. But firstly look after yourself and DCs and get him out. Maybe a good friend or relative could help make appointments/look after DCs so you can sort stuff.