Trying to find our soul-mate. It's dating thread 108

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Oh Tess, please block him. He called you plump? What a tosser!! I'm more than plump, but most days I'm liking what I see in the mirror as I'm finally feeling more comfortable in my own skin. I am a prize and you are too xx

Thank you, Mrsfluff I know you're right. What do you think of Match? Don't want to pay to see the same gormless faces staring back at me!

I feel the same - perhaps I'm aiming too high on the looks front but honestly, most of the people viewing my POF profile look as though they've escaped from a high security detention unit.

I just feel a young 48 so don't feel I have anything in common with the 58+ people who message me.

Ok I'm about to rush in again. Been messaging someone through day. Ticking boxes along the way. Doesn't talk about ex is v bad way, more level-headed way. Seeing him tomorrow and so mch want to like him. Tell me not to over invest please!!

I'm looking at older than younger now. My previous ex's have been immature. Would go up to 9 years older, I think.
Date for tomorrow is 7 years older.

Do most women aim for a bit older?

I tend to lilac, but not finding them particularly attractive right now.

I think if they're older they'll be grateful for a curvy 48 year old, as opposed to anyone younger who will think I'm punching way above my weight.

Tess, I find Match OK, but have nothing to compare it to. I shudder when I see some of them and the fact that they know I exist

Lilac - that sounds good! Quick work woman - I message for a week or so and they still don't want to bloody meet

I'm looking at older. I'm nearly 40 and seem to attract them young young , or older!?! I'm mainly looking between my age and 48. It's difficult though, as I think I'm quite a young 39, so don't want anyone who is too old/too sensible. Not that I'm fussy 😂

Tess I have opposite problem. I'm pretty much flat-chested. I worry that I don't have curves and being v short and facial wrinkles doesn't help either. I try to think that men have hang-ups too, but notice it's ok to be an older overweight male newsreader or presenter and not for a female, so society is judgmental towards women.

Keep looking, I'm still optimisatic that some regular men are on OLD.

I think we all need to get some of the chutzpah that the guys have! If a 65 year old with 2 teeth and bad grammar thinks he can woo us, we need some of that self belief!!!!

Do you know what Sky, I reckon you're right!!!

Mrsfluff I reckon I am! I'm so fucking fed up and lonely tonight, but Jesus, I want some of that supreme confidence and bugger it attitude the guys have!

Snap, I'm fed up and lonely tonight as well!!There is a 31 year old who's started chatting to me today

The rather wonderful Mr Gosport is out for drinks with his mate, but he's checked in with me quite a few times, which is so lovely Oh god, I'm soooooo over invested in him.

Sky that made me lol about the dentally challenged 65 yr old. You have to admire their confidence and too right we should have some of the same!

Back from my date with Mr Unknown, he was nice enough but it just seemed that we were on different wavelengths somehow. He made me laugh and had totally lovely hands which I kept looking at probably a bit too much but I think he found me a bit dull as he's into mountain climbing and similar extreme pursuits. Not expecting to hear from him again, but these first dates are getting easier the more I do.

I remain optimistic

Mrsfluff - saying you shudder with them knowing you exist is exactly how I feel! I catch myself looking at the pavement when I'm out just in case someone recognises me, which is obviously highly unlikely, I just feel as though I have a beacon above my head announcing my OLD status!

Hard not to be OI, loving Mr Gosport checking in when he's out with friends, that does sound positive.

And sky I am going to try and embrace that positivity - I messaged my first iron tonight then logged off quickly in case he saw me.

Good work lilac, I agree with getting the first meeting on the cards asap. Last time I was OLD I was into some proper heavy duty sexting with someone who's photo showed a smouldering black and white profile, akin to Liam Hemsworth. I was so OI I'm still embarrassed . When we met he barely came up to my shoulder - I'm 5'2 - kept cracking his knuckles and sprayed me with spit as he spoke non-stop about number plate recognition technology.

I've never drunk a pint of coke so fast.

Oh Forme, I loved your 'I remain optimistic'! Just because he likes to do exciting stuff, doesn't mean he expects you to? Would you like to see him again?

Oh Tess, I'm sorry, but the description of your date had me roaring!!!! So far I've seen people off Match when ; at work, walking the dog, in Asda (today!).

I think moving on to meeting quickly is the way to go.............they just don't want to meet me 😂

Ladies keep at it. I've met someone similar my age and never thought I would! Actually not getting over invested as it seems to have a natural flow to it, which I think is key. That or I am worried that subconsciously I'm not that into he as usually i am President Over Invested so still wondering about that. When I see a photo of him I do not think 'phwoar' but in person he has a lovely smile and really cute dimples also he is bags of fun. I found out tonight how fun he was as we went to a seaside town and played games (sober), bowling etc all night. He kicked my ass on the dance mat game. Then we listened to music for ages in my car. No one ever wants to do this stuff with me! He seems like he is having fun too so I don't think it's just for my benefit (he suggested it!) so I am still thinking a small part of me... where is the catch. There just has to be one

Tess your description was brilliant, could be in a stand-up performance. I have image of you downing a pint and feigning tiredness while backing out of the door

I hope my date today isn't like that. I may have made a mistake, as I'm going somewhere that involves parking away, so in theory we'll walk together as well as eat at the end (he's now offered lunch). Great if we get on, hard work if we don't. What can my excuse be to go?

I feel a bit more relaxed as I googled him and checked his FB before agreeing to meet. His first name was in his profile, he works for same business as me. It's very large but he said building and that meant I could reduce options and find potential surnames for search. All normal.
I feel like a spy!

Myuser your date sounds ideal and the relaxed approach sounds practical.

I'm an overinvestor. To my downfall so far!

I had a second date last night with a guy I really like. He's really funny, good company, and I really fancy him. Great kisser too. All bloody great except we have zero chance that I can see of it going anywhere and I'm gutted.

One problem is the distance, were an hour and a half away but as he's in London it's more like 2 with traffic. The 2 dates we've had we both drove or trained 45 minutes each. That's not too much of a deal breaker but the other, issue which is the one making it imposssible is that we are both single parents 24/7 as neither of our children see their other parent. So moving forward unless we introduce the kids ridiculously early which I'm not a fan of, we can't stay over at each other's houses or spend any more than a couple of hours on a date. Ok short term but if there is not any potential for it to progress I'm not sure I should keep seeing him because I'll just get FEELINGS and end up hurt 6 months down the line when one of us realises we want more and breaks it off. I can't actually see any way around it, but it sucks because I really like him and he seems to feel the same

Hello all, can I join in? I've been lurking for a while, I'm new to all this, been on my own for 19 months!!! So here's the lowdown .... I'm on tinder and bumble. After a very slow start ... Lots of men either didn't reply or just one line replys followed by "lol". I've had a bit of an influx which is making me a bit giddy!!! 😊 So I'm talking to 5 guys!!
1: mr birm - was going to knock him on the head but last few days very chatty!! But no date mentioned.
2: mr surgeon - very sure of himself, is taking me on a date, "that's different, shows his personality, but where I will feel safe and relaxed!!!" He's not told me where yet though!!.
3: mr tall - the only one that's local all others are 30/40 miles away!! We have our first date tomorrow!!
4: mr friend - very intelligent, but older and not sure I fancy him, he's been on a date with someone else so wants to hold off on a date with me until he sees if that pans out, which is fine with me, as enjoy our chats!
5: mr mountain bike - super hot, makes me laugh a lot, calls me flower!! But has had an op and can't drive for 2 weeks so date on hold at mo!!
I'm not swiping anymore!! 😂 They are all good looking and make me laugh!! I'm very picky and tall so surprised at how's it's gone. Worrying about 1st date tomorrow, not been on a date for 10 years!!!! Think I'm going to need some hand holding through this lot!! 😳

Hello! New around here.

After a few disasters, am thinking about dipping my toe into OLD but I have a few reservations... Namely being found out! I wouldn't respond to someone without a photo so clearly I'm going to have use photos myself, but it would be horrifically embarrassing if one of the younger boys I manage spots me on OLD. I know they all use Tinder, so I think that one is definitely out.

Was thinking about maybe a paid-for site, because they're less likely to use that? Or at the very least, the photos are likely to be buried behind a paywall and less likely to end up on Google. What does everyone use, and what have you found to be pointless?

I'm looking for a nice normal man for dating and who knows, rather than a hook up (which again is a reason for me to give Tinder a swerve, I think) and I'm at a complete loss as to how to find one. Absolutely everyone my age in real life seems to either be married or as good as.

I can so relate to this lol..it's not funny but is if u see what I mean! I'm 48 going on 38 so men my age have the slippers ready and waiting and the kettle on! Shocked how many men are so old
For their age! I thought I went wrong with my ex being 10 yrs younger so when we split decided that maybe men my age would be more suitable...HELL NO! don't do it girls lol..D xxx

Hi, I have been on a few sites looking for a serious relationship but they are all the same wether paid or not! Infact I had met better men on POF than Match that I paid for! So it really doesn't matter...it's just luck meeting your prince on any site! D X good luck Hun

pringlecat I'm not sure how tinder works but on pof you put in age range you are interested in.

Someone needs to slap me. I had an ONS felt really weird and down after it and now I'm considering doing it again. It is not what want really but I feel it's better than nothing

Get to know online Dates pls!
My story:
Have been online dating for 3 yrs and never found my prince. Until 6 months ago when I met a lovely man. Good heart etc and got on well on all levels. For 3 months life was perfect and then on month 4 he started to get edgy and sarcastic and moody. I thought maybe he didn't want us anymore so said I'm not happy and what's wrong? Nothing he said and was confused by my words! So I have it a month and he was still the same..so it made me realise it was all an act that sadly he couldn't keep
Up...such a shame as my son adored him and my family. We even talked about a possibility of living together in the coming year..and he would re locate his job. So it's so easy to all go wrong! I couldn't be with someone with the personality he had or I would be unhappy and I told myself I want to meet someone and be happy! Especially when you have children you've gotta be! Anyway whilst wondering for that last month if I'm just being picky I then noticed whenever we got in the car and went for a drive he would pick
His nose quite openly! I let it go a few times and thought it's not the end of the world! But then one time he picked it and dropped it...found it and ate it!!! what the hell! I couldn't move on after that as he tries to kiss me after! Bloody disgusting!
So moral of this love story is get to know someone really well before you fall for them or discuss futures as people are not always what they seem! I'm glad I called it a day to what seemed a perfect man but I'm happy knowing I won'tsettle for someone just to be In a Relationship.be happy alone also and one day it will happen D x

Myusername-I'm in a similar situation wondering what the catch is.
Mr Geordie and me went bowling and arcade Friday night and then he came back to mine ..we just lay on the sofa and kissed,he didn't try it on.
Now because of men trying to get into bed straight away I'm wondering is this normal?