Trying to find our soul-mate. It's dating thread 108

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Gosh rule number 2! I definitely need that to get a thick skin when I face mr shy tomorrow.
Your not being negative sum I think you are keeping it real, being single stinks !!!!

Evening ladies. It looks like Friday's date with Mr Tall is definitely on I'm so excited and nervous!!

However, I'm feeling really guilty about Mr Gosport, like I'm leading him on. We message lots and he's lovely and very funny. But where's it heading!?! OI? Me!?! Yup!!

It's a tough one Mrs isn't it? I'm in a similar boat with Mr Hurt, haven't rearranged with him after Saturday fell through because am too keen on Mr Interesting.

Could you keep chatting to Mr Gosport but not arrange a date until after Friday and see how things go with Mr Tall? It's all eggs and baskets isn't it ??

Sumo - love the polished piece of shit for precious stone! I'll do well to remember it

I think that's what I'll do Forme. It's difficult as I don't like to feel like I'm toying with people, but if I only chat to 1 person at a time, I fear I will be even more OI!!

I'm the same Mrs - but then maybe my misguided sense of loyalty is what kept me married to a total wanker for so long!!

We're decent people, we're not betraying anyone but I don't think there's any harm in keeping one's options open

Thank Forme. I do like to think I'm a decent person, hence feeling badly about it, but they could very likely be chatting to other women, which I wouldn't have an issue with at this stage. Yes, loyalty (mine!!) saw me suffer badly when my marriage ended , earlier this year!!

Right, I will keep both irons in the fire!!

Hi everyone, I keep dipping in and out of this thread and have completely lost track but I've been a long time lurker/occasional poster.

So I've been on Tinder since February on and off and have started to grow abit tired of it all but never meet anyone in RL so keep plodding along.

I've been on about 7 dates, one turned in a FWB for 3 months, one was a 2 month relationship and the other a 1 month on again-off again never really got going because he was an arse type situation.

There have been things I liked about all my dates but then lots of things which I wasn't willing to compromise on (such as being flaky etc.

I'm not sure where I'm going wrong but most of the ones who I'm very interested in (i.e. Good job, attractive, seem like they're not creepy) don't swipe right and I'm left with a pool of either send me a pic of your fanny creeps, ones which are hard work and have nothing to say other than going to the gym 7 nights a week or ones I see potential in but then they quickly stop messaging after one or two messages or drag out chatting and don't want to meet.

I'm slowly lowering my standards but then that's how I ended up with the last idiot and kept things going with him for way too long as the thought of starting again on tinder was just too much.

It's leaving me wondering what I can do to improve the situation. Where am I going wrong? I know it's a numbers game but I have 100's of matches and here I am, still single.

jaffa I feel exactly the same as you (and also dip in and out of here!)
I seem to find that if I do get as far as a date, that either they like me but I don't fancy them, or they turn out to be flakey. I don't seem to be getting anywhere at all. I'm finding it's not brilliant for my self esteem, but equally it's curiously addictive

I'm glad I'm not alone skyrabbit but it is pretty demoralising isn't it I know dating is supposed to be fun (and at times it has been) but it's hard to not become disillusioned after a while.

Perfect example with current iron (let's call him Mr slinky). I've been on one date with him and he seemed nice and normal, I'm fairly attracted to him (enough to build on as he's not my usual type), there was some potential. We have a date planned for Saturday.

He's flaked on me before (last Friday) and then didn't get in touch until Monday even though he'd mentioned he was free all weekend and then we arranged the Saturday date and he continued to read my texts but ignore them, so I pulled him up on it and he apologised and asked for a chance to prove himself.

He just txt this morning asking for 'pics he can creep on later in his hotel room'. Totally ruined the nice guy image I had of him now and feel like cancelling. This was my top prospect at the moment. I give up!!!

Morning ladies .... lots to catch up on

MrsFluff - good luck for tomorrow with Mr Tall With Mr Gosport, could you not keep texting him and go with the flow for now? You don't have to make a decision on where it's going just yet? basically don't put all your eggs in one basket
jaffa & skyrabbit - i'm in the same boat a lot of the time. Tinder is an odd one. I hate how shallow it is. As in RL, I'd probably go for a not so looking guy, as long as he has a great personality you know? So difficult to tell from a photo. I really wish there was a way of filtering on there ... so that there is a smaller pool of men, but one's that you may actually be interested in. Age and location really doesn't tell you much does it?

I didn't see Toyboy last night, both had work things that over-ran ... so seeing him Sunday - he wants to do something fun ... bless him, and his young ways

OLD is going ok, talking to a few people. I really hate the 'what are you on here for' line though. So tedious. Surely most people are on there to meet someone ... after a certain age at least?

Well I think mr Geordie invited me to his mums for tea ..I laughed it off pretending I thought he was joking but I think he was serious.
Seeing him tomorrow night ...

Hello ladies

Hope you're all well and having some successful dates. Wanted to run something by you. There's a guy on Match I've been chatting with, who is now asking me out. He seems nice, but when I asked him how he was getting on with Match, he replied with this:

Had some lovely dates but just been with someone for about a month but she has ripped all my confidence to shreds with her moods!

Now maybe it's my inner feminist, but I am always wary of guys who blame women. Would you be the same, or am I over reading it, and he may be perfectly genuine? Apart from anything else, I don't see how someone could destroy your confidence after only one month. He is 10 years older than me, so 52.

Was chatting to another guy, who had been checking out my profile, winking, favouriting, etc. So I plucked up the courage to just email him. The chat started off perfectly pleasantly, until we got onto the topic of him going to the gym. Then he started talking about how he'd like me to peel him out of his gym gear, and then shower with him

I had put in my profile that I'm not into sleazy guys. It feels like it's always going to go down this route!

Hello ladies

Hope you're all well and having some successful dates. Wanted to run something by you. There's a guy on Match I've been chatting with, who is now asking me out. He seems nice, but when I asked him how he was getting on with Match, he replied with this:

Had some lovely dates but just been with someone for about a month but she has ripped all my confidence to shreds with her moods!

Now maybe it's my inner feminist, but I am always wary of guys who blame women. Would you be the same, or am I over reading it, and he may be perfectly genuine? Apart from anything else, I don't see how someone could destroy your confidence after only one month. He is 10 years older than me, so 52.

Was chatting to another guy, who had been checking out my profile, winking, favouriting, etc. So I plucked up the courage to just email him. The chat started off perfectly pleasantly, until we got onto the topic of him going to the gym. Then he started talking about how he'd like me to peel him out of his gym gear, and then shower with him hmm

I had put in my profile that I'm not into sleazy guys. It feels like it's always going to go down this route!

Dieu ... I say this to everyone on here, I'm sure they hate me for it but I would give him a chance. If it was a recent relationship thing, maybe it's just fresh in his head and wants you to know he is actually looking for something serious and not someone who would mess you around?

Guessing he's a little bit scarred that's all ... ? Is he nice other than that?

Thanks for the speedy reply looby We haven't been chatting for long, but yes, he seems nice enough. He's keen to meet for coffee and a chat, which somehow seems less of an investment than a night drinking, so I quite like that.

Ladies ... you need to check the thread out we thought it was us

Mumsnet

Looby-I've just read and commented.
What the hell- thank god we never found each other on tinder..I'm deffo not in the top % of IQ or whatever it was he was talking about

Looby, is it bad that I do look for those things in a potential date as I've had enough of uneducated, unemployed men in stained tracky bottoms being the only ones interested in me

Wonder if he lives close by

Oh jaffa

Haha Whilst I may look for someone with a bit of intellect, I couldn't stomach someone who would look down on me and also brag about what they were good at. I would suspect he may be the time to be brutally honest ... no?

And louisa I couldn't resist commenting

type not time

Saw this on Huffington Post -

#NoMore Poster Campaign Aims To Help Anyone Who Feels Unsafe On A Date

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/no-more-campaign-posters-help-people-who-feel-unsafe-on-dates_uk_5808b613e4b07ebc072c56b0?utm_hp_ref=uk

Seems a good idea and might be of interest to you all.

Hi I posted before when I thought I would be single soon. Now I am and I've posted a very brief profile and few photos on OkCupid. I've had much worse replies than I had with POF previously. If OkCupid a site to avoid?

I don't know anything about it, but put it this way, it seems to have earned the name OkStupid on here

Do you mean stupid or sexual replies … or both?

Depressing, isn't it?

I've really gone off Shy since his comment I didn't like.
Will have to see how this date goes because I am clearly kind of instantly put off people more easily than I realised!