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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Empty condom wrapper

246 replies

2InTheMorning · 15/09/2016 02:11

(Name changed for this one)

Can't sleep - I found an empty condom wrapper in DPs trouser pocket, me and him don't use them.

How am I going to approach the situation? He will probably come clean, that's the sort of person he is.

I can't stay with him after this, it will only happen again, and the worst thing is I live in his house, we've got two children together.

I'm sitting here feeling very hurt, as there aren't any problems in our relationship.

OP posts:
AngelBlue12 · 15/09/2016 09:19

I've always got random rubbish in my pockets that I've picked up that people have dropped by our drive.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 15/09/2016 09:30

I hope there's a reasonable explanation.

FWIW I think if he was playing away he would have binned the wrapper along with the condom. If he was home (or out at work or something) and had a posh wank then it might have been easier to put the wrapper in his pocket. Especially if he did it at home, because he'd know you'd find it and worry.

However, there's really no understanding how stupid cheating men can be so all that could be bullshit. I really hope it all works out OP Flowers

Inthebathprobably · 15/09/2016 09:44

Hopefully there is an explanation.

But if it is the worst, please don't ever think you can't do better than someone who cheats on you.

You deserve better. You are worth more.

Fidelia · 15/09/2016 09:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PenelopeFlintstone · 15/09/2016 10:05

I also think that there might be a good explanation for this. I can't think why someone would put the wrapper in his pocket after sex.

tessiegirl · 15/09/2016 10:09

Oh no, I really hope this is all innocent. You are going to have to ask him about it otherwise it will eat you up inside Sad

OuchLegoHurts · 15/09/2016 10:13

Yes, just be careful...I would do it face to face so you can judge whether you think he's lying or not. It would be incredibly sad if you got this wrong, one way or the other.

SuperFlyHigh · 15/09/2016 10:15

Ask him face to face but also trust your gut.

I also think as another poster the posh wank given here is rubbish heard this a month ago here and was very Hmm

DragonNoodleCake · 15/09/2016 10:19

I am with highlandcoo on this one and inclined to think it is not dodgy, having said that, I know how easy it would be for my mind to run riot and have my self convinced he was cheating without actually finding out properly.

It must be difficult, as other PP's have suggested, ask an open question face to face and trust your gut.

whatever happens things will be ok

TheLastHeatwave · 15/09/2016 10:24

Given both his jobs I'd say it's more likely he picked it up from a house it the car. It's not normal to be in a position where putting the wrapper in your trouser pocket is the easiest or most logical thing to do if you're shagging someone you shouldn't be. Also, you're much more likely to bin if if you're cheating than if you've picked it up innocently.

That's coming from someone with a HIGHLY suspicious mind!

FunnyTummy · 15/09/2016 10:26

I agree that you should confront in person. you need to look him in the eyes and see how he reacts.

Goingtobeawesome · 15/09/2016 10:35

Definitely ask him in person. It might be his house but if you decide to leave him he has to support you and the children.

I hope it's innocent but if not, don't panic. You're strong and will get through this.

QueenLizIII · 15/09/2016 10:37

I dont think anyone can speculate. There are a ton of posts her about he picked it up from property or one of his cabs. Keeping someone elses condom wrapper in your pocket indefinitely?

Properties have bins for example, that he could have put it in.

In fact given the jobs, I'd say he had ample opportunity to have sex with someone in a cab or a property. It is a possibility that he was not fully undressed because of the situation and put the wrapper in his pocket when he opened it......but then no one would put a used condom in their pocket too so that has to be thrown out, forgetting about the wrapper.

But then maybe I am just overly cynical. I have been cheated on alot.

VioletBam · 15/09/2016 10:42

Agree it may have been picked up...he could have collected it from the back of a cab. Don't automatically think the worst.x

LonestarStateOfMind · 15/09/2016 10:47

I would confront him face to face and ask him to unlock his phone. If my partner found something like this in my pocket I might be hurt that they thought I had cheated but I'd do anything and everything possible to put their mind at ease Flowers

whaaaaat · 15/09/2016 10:47

Let us know what happens OP. Really sorry you're going through the worry.

I agree with the posters who think it might be completely explainable and innocent.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you Flowers

Everlongsleepy · 15/09/2016 10:51

Good luck in talking to him x
So sorry ure going thru this :(
Ur comment 'I know I won't find better' made me feel really sad, if he Has cheated then there is better out there waiting for u
When things happen tht feel unbearable I try and remind myself tht actually the Worst thing to happen would be for my children or myself to be very unwell. EVERYTHING else can be over come, even if it hurts like hell x

booklooker · 15/09/2016 10:53

Men are shit

What a ludicrous thing to type.

Fortunately I remember NAMNALT

(Not all MumsNetters...)

will2power · 15/09/2016 10:54

Bide your time.

Klchi · 15/09/2016 10:55

Ask him, judge his reaction and trust your gut Flowers

amusedbush · 15/09/2016 10:59

I'm sorry you're going through this, I hope there's an innocent explanation.

Cheerybigbottom · 15/09/2016 11:06

I'm
Sorry you're going through this.

Please remember though, if he has cheated on you then he doesn't deserve you. You CAN do better than a man who treats you like that. He's hurt you and your family if you've cheated, don't ever let him blame you. Flowers

FunnyTummy · 15/09/2016 11:08

Agree with Lonestar. tell him face to face, and then ask to see his phone straight away. if it is innocent then he will do anything he can to show you that he has done nothing wrong.

BadTasteFlump · 15/09/2016 11:13

Men are shit

Hmm I also thought that was slightly ridiculous but didn't want to derail the thread...

OP I hope you're ok. You must have the most amazing self control to have not confronted him as soon as you found it Flowers

Original poster
2InTheMorning · 15/09/2016 11:16

Thanks to all those that has tried to justify for him, he has his own car he doesn't use taxis and also he isn't the once who shows clients round the apartments

I have called him, He has admitted that he has cheated and said it won't happen again, he said he loves me too much to lie to me (yeah whatever if he loved me he wouldn't have slept with someone else)

No apology or not the slight bit of guilt in his voice, he has said it is on me in what I want to do next.

OP posts: