You know what a Freudian slip is? It's kind of what you're doing all through this thread. Every word we say, how we choose to express ourselves, why we use one word instead of another word to express similar things, and so on, all of that is very revealing. OP, there are some very experienced people here who are adept at recognising what the linguistic choices of posters can (and generally do) indicate.
You've actually just had a very cheap counselling session, which you are resisting. You say something and when someone questions your chosen means of expression you twist yourself into knots insisting that you didn't mean that, you meant something else. The worst one is your thread title which is very revealing, even to me.
No one, but no one would see that as a reasonable title, the way you encapsulate your problem, unless that were indeed the heart of their problem. If they are used to getting people's approval, without much effort, then you are less likely to notice what that title actually expresses. If they are the favoured child and are thinking within the family context, they are even less likely to see a problem with that title.
You show a pretty consistent attitude throughout this thread tbh. You say something which is actually quite revealing, people respond to it, you twist.
I know you think that you self-reflect, but is that basking in your parents' and husband's approval? Anyone can do that, and draw the conclusion that they're pretty OK. This is why counsellor's are so useful. Most people prefer to stick around people who like them, and so often don't really have to think far beyond that. In the old days, before everone had to be PC, tolerant, be careful of the dreaded grievance procedures/bullying policies etc, one would hear at work how one really came across, as one's colleagues didn't have to do more than work with you and were perfectly able to dislike one intensely if they so wished. So it was perfectly possible to be confronted by one's vices/unlikability often enough to ensure that a difficult person would have no illusions over the ways they could do better. This clearly had drawbacks, but there were advantages too. A fairly normal work story would be "do you know, so-and-so said such-and-such to me today" while friends or family rock with laughter saying "no kidding!" (an indication that goodness yes you are exactly like that!), and it was no big deal. You could work on that aspect of yourself or not, but at least you were aware of it being there, and when things like "my brother doesn't seem to like me much" occur to you, you could dig out whatever that thing was that everyone laughed about, and examine how much that might have to do with your brother's attitude towards you, and then ask other people if you need to.
What you're doing, despite all the posters attempts to make you aware of how you might be coming across, is insist that no you're not like that, and despite your rejection, posters are still trying to say "well, are you sure you're not like that, because that is how you're coming across" and you are saying "no I'm not coming across like that. You are reading the wrong meanings into the words I use". But they are the words you chose to use, and they come across badly.
So your next bit of self-searching introspection, could start there perhaps.