Woman's aid - need advice please

[ReallyNeedSomeHelpAsap]

Don't really want to go into detail as it will out me but has anyone ever rung woman's aid once you've walked out the house to leave that day, I need advice on what to expect when I do it myself. I have no family or friends to go to it will be me and my child with a tiny amount of stuff. I have no money or i.d (I wasn't allowed to get a passport ect) please any info on what expect would really help

[Mummydummy]

Good luck Really. Get out and find safety. After that you will have tons of support and you will be protected. Remember Womens Aid and the police deal with this all the time and they know what to do. The hardest bit is to get out.

[Buzzardbird]

Are the bruises where people won't see them? I was a bit worried that if they were on your face he wouldn't let you go.
Have you ever involved the Police? Would you feel safe to call 999 if it happens again before you can leave?

[ReallyNeedSomeHelpAsap]

No bruises on my face just arm, back and shoulder I think he may have caught me behind my ear too I've got a huge lump an a headache all day, could he get me done for defending myself? I bit him to get him off of me an took a chunk out of his arm? He won't try it again but if he does I'll be calling the police I've just been informed about the phone up for pizza technique

[ReallyNeedSomeHelpAsap]

He's back so I probably won't b able to get on here till the early hours thanks everyone I'll keep u all updated

[Buzzardbird]

No, he can't get you done for defending yourself.

Good luck for tomorrow.

[RosaRosaRose]

I wasn't allowed out either. I packed a tiny bag, while he was still sleeping. Got permission to go to the shop. I was lucky in that a friend picked me up from the end of the road. We were both terrified, but we did it. From hers, I called women's aid and got a place in a refuge. Once there, I had the most amazing help and councelling and support to find housing and benefit to help me survive. I was a mess. Not any more. I have my own home now and am happy and safe. All this is waiting for you. Get out. Make that call and start you future. The help is there. Be careful, be safe. Good luck

[RosaRosaRose]

Just to add, if you haven't got a friend to help, get away and call the police. Ask for the domestic violence support officer and they will help you find a safe place to be. I am completely free now in a different area and he will not be able to find me. Ever. Do it. Don't wait but above all, be safe.

[youllneverknow]

Just wanted to say 'good luck' OP and stay strong. If you struggle to get through on the phone, you can always go to your local Council office and speak to the Homelessness Team who can usually find refuge spaces and possibly arrange transport. Also worth knowing that you have the right to make a Homelessness application to any local authority in the country if you are fleeing domestic abuse

[poppysqueak]

Don't want to hijack but RosaRosa, I hope you are now happily reunited with your little dog.
Best wishes OP.

[RosaRosaRose]

Thanks poppy! Yep, she's here with me! See OP, two years down the line, you make friends in real life and m' net friends recognise you despite name changes. People care and are there to help you through. Do it and be safe.

[Donatello68]

Good luck OP. You are being incredibly brave. Stay strong - you can do it

[Badbadtromance]

How are you op?

[FruitCider]

Hi OP. First of all, well done for having the courage to take this huge step!

Take a deep breath...

For emergency housing, you do not need a local connection. You can drive as far as you want to a council office and make a homelessness claim on the grounds of domestic abuse. This is a good back up plan if women's aid do not have any spaces in refuges.

When you wake up and your soon to be ex leaves, immediately try to ring women's aid whilst packing your car. If you cannot get through leave a message and update them with your movements.

Go to your local pound land and buy a car charger and usb cable for your phone so you can charge your phone from your car of necessary,

Pack any essential documents, medicines, clothes and toys.

Then think about parts of the country that are safe for you. Look up the local council offices and leave your home and drive in that direction. Avoid travelling through routes your partner uses.

I'm at work all day today but will try and see how you are doing later X

[ElsaAintAsColdAsMe]

Good luck today op. Be careful, stay safe. You are doing the right thing

[Whatthefreakinwhatnow]

Thinking of you OP, stay strong, you can do this for you and your child.

[hellsbellsmelons]

This is awful OP.
I really hope you are safe.
Absolutely leave, with a big smile on your face as if nothing is wrong.
Phone when you get a safe distance away.
Don't worry about the phone bill, WA number will not come up on it.
If you can't get through then go directly to your local police station.
They will help you.
Good luck.
Hoping you get away to a new free life away from abuse.

[paap1975]

Well done for making this decision!

[Usedandabusedimhurting]

Hello,

I left my husband last year, nearly a year ago.

Pack what you can in terms of documents etc, but don't worry too much if you don't have a passport. I didn't have ID for me nor my daughter.

Housing, when you leave Domestic Violence, you can present yourself and your child as homeless due to Domestic Violence to ANY county in England, except the one you are in, or one he has strong connections to. All you have to do is turn up at the council offices. They WILL house you, temporary accommodation at first (they will keep trying to find you a place in a Woman's Refuge) and you'll get daily telephone support from your local Woman's Aid Charity until you are placed in a refuge. They will house you permanently.

I promise you, you can do this! It's not easy, but you really can do this, you can get away from him, you don't need him to be able to live. You ARE capable.

I'm here all day, if you'd like to PM me, then I'm happy to help support you.

[Bumbumtaloo]

I don't have any advice OP, I just wanted to wish you well. Stay safe

[debbs77]

Goodness me, tearful reading this. You must be terrified. Wishing you all threads luck in the world. I hope you can keep us updated xx

[Buzzardbird]

Its important to be safe, not risk updating us. I hope you have managed to get the practical advice you need from this thread.

[ReallyNeedSomeHelpAsap]

Thanks everyone things didn't go to plan today he refused to let me leave the house without him but that's fine I can go on Monday alone.
I've got a much clearer head on today I'm making little plans and have £50 to get away with. Its a small start but I can do it.
He's defiantly out on Tuesday so I'll call up while I'm out on Monday an it gives them 24hrs to try make a space for me. Either way I'm walking out that door with my head held high

[ReallyNeedSomeHelpAsap]

Sorry for short replies he's around a lot today I'm barely getting any time to think let alone type lol

[ReallyNeedSomeHelpAsap]

While I have a few more minutes, so I can just turn up at the councils office with me an lil one an they will help? I might try that if woman's aid can't, I don't have a car just my legs and a buggy so hopefully I can get far enough away. He's acting like nothing happened yesterday just drops in a casual moan about how his foot hurts.... I can do this I know I can

[ElsaAintAsColdAsMe]

Don't put yourself at risk by updating us.

I'm glad you're clearer today, and that you're making plans for Monday.

You sound a lot more organised which is great.

Keep your head down and stay safe until Monday, then you can start your new life. WA will help you get to a new location and sort benefits out so don't worry about money too much, you will get help.

I had nothing when I went to the refuge, within an hour I had some clothes, toys, toiletries and a massive food delivery.