Woman's aid - need advice please

[ReallyNeedSomeHelpAsap]

Don't really want to go into detail as it will out me but has anyone ever rung woman's aid once you've walked out the house to leave that day, I need advice on what to expect when I do it myself. I have no family or friends to go to it will be me and my child with a tiny amount of stuff. I have no money or i.d (I wasn't allowed to get a passport ect) please any info on what expect would really help

[wonderwoo]

You are doing a great job, and yes you are a survivor now, and a victim no more.

Some distance will be great for you and you can start a new life. How interesting that your dd is showing no signs of missing him. That says so much.

You are very brave and very strong (even if you don't always feel it).

[Sleeplessinmybedroom]

Well done, you are amazing.

[ElsaAintAsColdAsMe]

I'm so happy to read your update.

Just look at the difference between your first and last posts.

You are one strong and amazing lady.

[DailyMaui]

I came to this thread late - you are awesome! I was so, so worried when I read your first post. But what a fabulous outcome. My dad physically abused both my mum and me (more me sadly) and I'm still dealing with that now. You have saved you and your daughter a lifetime of misery. You are a truly wonderful person. I hope form now on your life is free and happy. You deserve no less. ❤️❤️❤️🍾🍾🍾

[Therewere5inthebed]

I've just read your full thread and want to wish you lots of luck. You are amazingly brave and strong. This is the beginning of the rest of your and your daughters' life.

[ConkerTriumphant]

Great news!

[ReallyNeedSomeHelpAsap]

Little update for you all, I've had to move again and got a new number. He won't let go he's managed to get my contacts off my phone, my family are now being harassed all because I changed my number!! He's obviously been checking it everyday and as soon as he noticed no activity the calls started. The police aren't helping much with that yet but fingers crossed I guess. I'll never feel safe at this rate

[Buzzardbird]

Keep on at the Police if you don't feel safe. Can WA help you at all?

[0SometimesIWonder]

Yes, as Buzzard says, keep on at the police; stress how unsafe you feel and remind them of his past violence.

[Kr1stina]

I'm sorry , this is frightening for you and upsetting for your family .

If he is sending threatening or a abusive messages to them , they need to keep them / screenshot and report it to the police . The more reports they get, the better .

I'm glad that you have been able to relocate , I assume women's aid are helping you ? What do they advise about the calls ?

[ReallyNeedSomeHelpAsap]

They haven't assisted with this WA have given me a load of numbers but no room anywhere for us :( its a pain really I e got screenshots I'm gunna email them to the Cso an see what he thinks

[0SometimesIWonder]

Keep all texts, emails etc. and keep pestering police, WA and anyone who will listen.
You and LO deserve a chance of a better life.
Hang on in there OP.

[Shriek]

Keep calling them; situation changes every day with vacancies coming up.

R u in refuge at the moment but need moving because he's found you?

As its the refuge's respnsibility to keep you safe.

[Shriek]

The police should be able to provide you with a point of contact to forward all your evidence to.

[ReallyNeedSomeHelpAsap]

Not in a refuge yet no, I'm phoning everyday to look for spaces and I've been forwarding evidence on I'm just not getting a reply. I'm going to call them again in a min to see if I can speak directly to the right person. I've kept everything I'm sick of waking up to multiple texts from family saying he's contacted them again its a joke he's really wearing me down now

[0SometimesIWonder]

Anything I say will sound so trite OP, but just want to let you know we're thinking of you and hope you can get through this.

[MissElizaBennettsBaubles]

Unlurking to say Stay Strong OP...

[TooDamnNosyy]

Don't give up OP! Stay strong Please don't go back x

[BertieBotts]

Really

You can do this. I know you want to be free and that will happen. Keep calling. I wish there were unlimited places and I wish that bastard wicked cuts and austerity and shitty, shitty measures weren't eroding the safety nets that we have here. I'm afraid it might mean you have to hang on a little tighter while you wait for a lead, but one will come.

If you have gone back, know that that does not make you a failure. We will be here again when you are ready to start again. And I know you will be. I don't think you'll live in that limbo for long. You won't let him consume you. If you're still out, hang in there. Just take it one hour at a time or one day however far you can see ahead.

I was listening to this and I think it describes the experience of leaving an abusive relationship so perfectly I wanted to share it with you.

I made everything come undone
I made everything fall apart
I quit running to the finishing line
And I went back to the start
I found a great, big hole in the middle of my life
Shaped just like my heart, just like my heart

I lost sight of what was under my feet
'Cause I always had to be on top
And I was so drunk on love
That I didn't taste a single drop
And I used to make everything run on time
'Til I made the whole world stop, I made it stop

Now I'm watching the world move in slow motion
Now I'm finding it easy to breathe

For too long I've been trying to walk
In high heels through a river of mud
For too long I've been trying to talk
Over the sound of rushing blood
Where truth is a story scribbled in chalk
Just an hour before the flood, before the flood

[whitehandledkitchenknife]

Really - tell your family that you don't want to know that he 's contacting them. Tell them you need protecting from this and this is one way they can help. Keep strong.

[laurenandsophie]

Really you are incredible. I am in tears reading this thread and your story of survival. You all are amazing.

I agree with ^ that you don't need to be told if he's contacting your loved ones - you need to focus on moving on and everyone should be helping you and your LO keep away from an abusive, violent, monster.

It's easy for me to say this - but if you feel he's wearing you down, it's not because he's changed, it's because he wants to continue to control you. You don't deserve this, and neither does your LO.

[Buzzardbird]

How are things Really?

Ask your family to tell the Police, rather than you when he is bothering them. Just tell them gently that it is reallys stressing you out and not helping you to get away from him.

It will get better.

[ReallyNeedSomeHelpAsap]

He emailed me directly yesterday begging for me back I was having such a good day too, no news from family about him annoying them and received a call from social services saying no further action for me an they refused to put an address for me on it so if he wants contact with lil one he has to take me to court! Then I find this bloody email, I'm completely fed up I've not gone back and I won't my baby is happy again and singing an dancing. She's my rock right now every day she improves I feel stronger

[Buzzardbird]

You are doing so well. It is lovely to hear that your little girl is obviously flourishing out of the old environment. You don't realise how much it must affect them at the time do you? When you look at her, you can see what you have done for her.

Feel proud of yourself and remember his contact will fall away bit by bit.

[whitehandledkitchenknife]

Block his emails Really.
Now.
You need time and space away from all the triggers to begin to heal and get stuff sorted in your mind.