Only person that isn't invited is me ...

[user1471888857]

Me and my best friend have been friends for 14 years.
About 6 years she introduced me to a friend of hers from work and since then me and about 7 other girls have gone on nights out and concerts etc.
One of the girls (we will call her lucy ) is getting married.
My friend invited me on the hen night and we went away for two nights.
I bought her a present and paid towards her hotel and travel etc.
It's the wedding Sunday and I haven't been invited..now I expected not to be invited to the ceremony but I thought she would of invited me to the reception.
I'm the only one not going.
My friend keeps telling me how excited she is and how the girls are all staying in a hotel.
I feel stupid for even going on the hen night (only one from the hen night not going)
The reception everyone has to pay for their own drinks anyway so it's not like they would have to pay for meal or anything.
I just think it's a bit mean I guess and I feel like they must not even like me.
Am I being stupid?

[ElspethFlashman]

I don't understand how you didn't realise you weren't that close to the bride when she actually didn't invite you to her Hen!

[user1471888857]

At the time my friend said I'm sure your invited to the night do ..so I assumed I was.
Then as time went on my friend said ..I'm not sure if you are invited to the night do after all.
At this point it was 2 days before the hen after I paid my hotel/train travel and present money.
I couldn't say I'm not going at this point

[user1471888857]

It was my friend and another of the brides friends (the girl who invited me on holiday) who arranged the hen weekend.
The only thing the bride said was don't invite these girls as I don't like them (some of who we socialise with)

[Lilacpink40]

Did your friend want more money towards the hen that she was organising so wanted more money to make her look better so you fitted the bill?

I still think your problem is with your 'friend'.

[LavenderEverywhere]

I think it's INCREDIBLY bad manners to invite someone to a Hen Night, expect them to spend a lot of money on giving you are great evening because you are their friend and then not invite them to the wedding.

I would be furious and very hurt.

[PuppyMonkey]

Not a nice situation but "Your best friend is dangerous" did make me lol there.

Sounds to me like your friend asked you along to hen believing you'd be invited along to evening do as you'd all been mates for ages. But bride has obviously overlooked you, maybe because she has other stuff to think about and just forgot you.

All very awkward but I don't think anyone has been deliberately mean or "dangerous."

[Oliversmumsarmy]

I think after 6 years of going out with someone then being the only one to not get an invite to a wedding but accepting a wedding present from them is a shitty thing to do

Given that you and I presume your friend who was organising the hen do (don't know the etiquette as have never been married or been on a hen night but isn't it a friend who organises the hen party not the bride ) thought you would be invited to the wedding evening bit.

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

OP I think you have every right to be pissed off and upset about this - but not with the bride.

The blame for this situation lies solely with your friend.

[Danglyweed]

Why couldn't your best friend take you as her plus one instead of some random?

[user1471888857]

I don't think I would of went as my friends plus 1.
I think my pride would of stopped me as if I wasn't invited and here I am again tagging along ..I think my pride is just hurt.

[user1471888857]

I even bought the bride cupcakes and champagne for the train down to Liverpool(not about the money)

[LiviaDrusillaAugusta]

I get that you are frustrated but for your own peace of mind you need to forget about the money - you didn't have to put into it, and you presumably didn't pay purely so you could attend the wedding,

If you keep obsessing about this you will get more and more resentful and it's not worth it!

The bride herself didn't promise you an invitation, your friend thought you would be invited. Not the same thing!

And unless you changed names, you have put your friends names in your earlier post.

You need to step back and get a grip (I mean that kindly)

[IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain]

I get why you're upset and it does sound like your friend didn't really know you wouldn't be invited - although she could stop going on about it. The bride sounds a bit of a bitch though - I don't think I'd worry too much about what she's done, particularly as she didn't want certain members of your group at her hen if you are all part of a big group. It sounds slightly controlling to me. But I may not have read properly as I'm engrossed in brother bear 2.

[user1471888857]

Do I send her a message and wish her a happy day?
I feel bad not wishing her a lovely wedding

[LiviaDrusillaAugusta]

I wouldn't - just try to forget about it. If you send her a message it's bound to come out as a slightly PA gesture because you are so upset.

[LiviaDrusillaAugusta]

And in the nicest possible way, you aren't going to be top of the bride's list of concerns right now. I would just get on with my life and chalk it down to experience. Unless there's a huge back story, you risk being seen as totally overreacting

[PepsiPenguin]

I think you say fuck it personally.

None of these people sound very kind at all, why do you even want to spend time with these people.

I know it is the brides wedding and she is free to invite who she wants but to have you at the hen-do where you have contributed to a lovely present, regardless of how you ended up there, the fact you have been in this "group" for 5/6 years and you go on holiday and weekends away together to then still not invite you to the after party that will cost her £0 is cruel actually.

I'd be hurt and I think you need to accept this person is NOT your friend, start finding new decent friends.

[user1471888857]

I honestly don't feel I'm over reacting but we all have different views on things.
I won't wish her a happy wedding then and il just not mention it.
Il be very careful what I go to and what I don't in future.

[PepsiPenguin]

I don't think your overreacting either from what you have written none of them seem very nice.

The people I like to share my time with are kind and nice, these don't sound kind or nice at all.

[diddl]

You are upset with the wrong person imo.

[diddl]

" but to have you at the hen-do where you have contributed to a lovely present, regardless of how you ended up there, "

My invitations were sent out before the hen do was even thought of!

[star1980]

I can understand why you're upset. I don't think there's anything to be done about it though and I agree that your friend really needs to stop going on about the wedding. I also agree with PP that she probably assumed you would be invited. I think with weddings though we just have to accept that it's the prerogative of the bride and groom to invite whoever they want and not make them feel bad about it.
My best friend has not been invited to a mutual friend's wedding and I was sure she'd be invited. In fact the bride told me she was going to invite her, but in the end she didn't. It does smart a little but you have to accept that no malice is intended and move on.
please plan something nice that day and be kind to yourself. You sound like a nice person who is feeling hurt, but ultimately no-one has really done anything wrong.

[bombayflambe]

Op I do understand why you are disappointed. In the circumstances though I don't think that you have been slighted or that the Bride thinks less of you in any way.
She clearly enjoys your company as part of group events but doesn't feel that she knows you as well as the others. You were added to the social group about 6 years ago but haven't actually spent time with her on a one to one basis in all that time? If they were having to limit numbers it seems logical that they would only invite family or friends that either both the bride and groom know or that one of them has known intimately or for a long time.
It is one (mostly) family party. Don't let the fact that you didn't get an invitation to the pub on this one occasion stop you joining in with the group events that you have enjoyed up to this point. it would be cutting your nose off to spite your face and I'm sure isn't what the bride envisaged when she finalised her guest list.

[WoburnSands]

As a lot of previous posters have said, I'd question how good a "friend" your "friend" is. She shouldn't be bringing it up all the time.

I was once invited to a hen weekend and wedding. It wasn't the bride who invited me but a mutual friend of the bride. I didn't go. I don't regret it to this day as don't think I missed anything!!

[user1471888857]

she doesn't know the guy from tinder at all yet he is going ...oh well whatever