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Original poster

Only person that isn't invited is me ...

286 replies

user1471888857 · 22/08/2016 19:09

Me and my best friend have been friends for 14 years.
About 6 years she introduced me to a friend of hers from work and since then me and about 7 other girls have gone on nights out and concerts etc.
One of the girls (we will call her lucy ) is getting married.
My friend invited me on the hen night and we went away for two nights.
I bought her a present and paid towards her hotel and travel etc.
It's the wedding Sunday and I haven't been invited..now I expected not to be invited to the ceremony but I thought she would of invited me to the reception.
I'm the only one not going.
My friend keeps telling me how excited she is and how the girls are all staying in a hotel.
I feel stupid for even going on the hen night (only one from the hen night not going)
The reception everyone has to pay for their own drinks anyway so it's not like they would have to pay for meal or anything.
I just think it's a bit mean I guess and I feel like they must not even like me.
Am I being stupid?

OP posts:
Oliversmumsarmy · 23/08/2016 12:17

But Woburn you were invited it was your choice to go or not to go. That choice for the op was removed

Nocabbageinmyeye · 23/08/2016 12:40

I haven't had a chance to read all the replies but on dh's stag his best man invited his friend to come, now dh knows him years, they have been in nights out/weekend's away but only with the best man as the common denominator. Dh does not like him, I didn't know him at all and dh was pissed off he was invited but let it slide and went off for a weekend. We didn't invite them to the wedding and they were put out we later heard, but why should we have? Dh doesn't like him, should we have invited him because the best man decided to make it a bit of a free for all? Not a hope, it was entirely the best man's fault.

Your angry at the wrong person I think, sorry, your friend sounds like a twat though

Original poster
user1471888857 · 23/08/2016 12:53

But I thought the bride did like me....

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 23/08/2016 12:59

I'm sure she doesn't actively dislike you but maybe she doesn't feel close enough to invite you to her wedding - your friend's plus one is nothing to do with the bride.

In the nicest possible way, I'm sure you don't really feature in the bride's plans if you aren't best of friends - rather than seeing it as some sort of snub I think you need to take a step back and realise that the day is about the couple, you won't be missing much anyway.

phillipp · 23/08/2016 13:20

she doesn't know the guy from tinder at all yet he is going ...oh well whatever

but again it's your friend that invited him.....not the bride. She may have felt obliged to give plus ones. Or maybe you friend just invited him. Like she has told you to come along.

That's not the bride.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 23/08/2016 13:29

OP your post of earlier named two of your friends - you might want it edited by MNHQ.

I think you need to get a little perspective for your own peace of mind.

Original poster
user1471888857 · 23/08/2016 13:30

(I name changed in earlier posts) just incase anyone knew us here.
When I said a random guy from tinder is going I meant if there is room for him (yes a plus 1 but still a human being who is a total stranger ) then surely there was room for me.
Anyway I'm not invited so makes no difference anyway.

OP posts:
MadisonMontgomery · 23/08/2016 13:33

It doesn't sound as though you even like th bride that much, so I'm not sure why you're so bothered about not going to her wedding.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 23/08/2016 13:34

He's a plus 1 - that is usual to include a guest of a guest - your friend could have taken you as her plus one but didn't, unfortunate but you really need to let it go. You are way more bothered than is proportionate, with the 'makes no difference anyway' type of comments.

Original poster
user1471888857 · 23/08/2016 13:34

Well I did actually like the bride until I realised she clearly didn't like me...

OP posts:
Original poster
user1471888857 · 23/08/2016 13:35

Why would I of went as my friends extra plus 1 guest ? When I clearly wasn't good enough to be invited as a proper guest.
I am really annoyed actually,just shows you how sneaky people can be and fake.

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 23/08/2016 13:36

And you are coming across as sulking about it - that's never a good thing!

It's not worth all this angst - they don't hate you and they aren't bullying you, you just didn't get an invitation to the wedding of someone with whom you don't spent one on one time!

babba2014 · 23/08/2016 13:36

Seems like your friend invited you so the cost of the gift is less plus you'd be paying for your own stuff on the hen. I'm sure she would have talked about who is and is not invited to the wedding before the hen, seeing as she was organising the hen so they must be close.
I'd let it go but also not fall for anything like that again in any way. Be cautious of her etc. You might find that actually she is like this in other ways too, or maybe not.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 23/08/2016 13:37

When I clearly wasn't good enough to be invited as a proper guest.

Wow. Can't understand why they didn't invite you, given what a reasonable person you are

MrsJoeyMaynard · 23/08/2016 13:37

she doesn't know the guy from tinder at all yet he is going ...

He's a plus one though, he's not specifically invited by the bride. I've been to several weddings as DH's plus one where DH knows the bride / groom but I've never met them, and vice versa. There's one evening reception we've been invited to coming up soon where I've never met the bride or groom (colleagues of DHs).

Wedding invites to named guest plus one aren't uncommon, especially for evening receptions, and I'm sure that some brides / grooms just issue invites plus one because they think it's the done thing, rather than because they want random strangers at their wedding celebration.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 23/08/2016 13:37

The day isn't all about you, although you seem determined that your lack of invitation is such an issue.

Original poster
user1471888857 · 23/08/2016 13:38

I am a reasonable person actually but when people treat me like rubbish ..I tend to get slightly annoyed about it.

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 23/08/2016 13:38

They aren't treating you like rubbish but you aren't going to accept that you have totally lost perspective, are you?

Original poster
user1471888857 · 23/08/2016 13:39

They were quick enough asking me to book the hotel and train tickets on my credit card ..some of which I never got the correct money for.
More fool me.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1471888857 · 23/08/2016 13:40

So if people you classed as "friends" did that to you livia you wouldn't be bothered?
And would think it was snakey?

OP posts:
Original poster
user1471888857 · 23/08/2016 13:41

6 years we have ALL socialised together.
Nearly every weekend for six years..and after all that time I'm the only one left out.

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 23/08/2016 13:41

And I do understand why you are upset but each post seems to be overreacting more! Why are you feeling so entitled to an invitation? You were invited on the hen do, you didn't have to go or pay money etc! And now you seem to think that gives you an automatic right to an invitation to the day?

Seriously OP you need to chill out, you will drive yourself crazy!

Original poster
user1471888857 · 23/08/2016 13:42

I guess being a friend kind of made me assume I would be at the wedding night ..strange that

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 23/08/2016 13:42

No I wouldn't think it was snakey - their choice. And fwiw I was invited on a hen do a few years ago by someone I spent a lot of time with, and didn't get invited to the wedding. I mentally shrugged and got on with my life, it wasn't worth all the stress.

Original poster
user1471888857 · 23/08/2016 13:44

I do think it's very snakey.
That's my opinion of the situation tbh.
I have no intention of mentioning it to them.

OP posts: