Only person that isn't invited is me ...

[user1471888857]

Me and my best friend have been friends for 14 years.
About 6 years she introduced me to a friend of hers from work and since then me and about 7 other girls have gone on nights out and concerts etc.
One of the girls (we will call her lucy ) is getting married.
My friend invited me on the hen night and we went away for two nights.
I bought her a present and paid towards her hotel and travel etc.
It's the wedding Sunday and I haven't been invited..now I expected not to be invited to the ceremony but I thought she would of invited me to the reception.
I'm the only one not going.
My friend keeps telling me how excited she is and how the girls are all staying in a hotel.
I feel stupid for even going on the hen night (only one from the hen night not going)
The reception everyone has to pay for their own drinks anyway so it's not like they would have to pay for meal or anything.
I just think it's a bit mean I guess and I feel like they must not even like me.
Am I being stupid?

[winkywinkola]

Okay well let's say for argument's sake, the bride doesn't like you and that's why you weren't invited.

Are you going to let it break your heart?

I know it's painful when you find out people don't feel the way about you that you thought they did.

Honestly, how much social time did you spend with the bride before the wedding?

From now on, paste a smile on your face, wish the bride all the best and drop her and your so called 'friend' because this kind of piss taking rejection will happen again unless you step back and forge friendships with other more decent people.

I hope that, in time, you will feel less hurt and more philosophical about all this. And learn from it by not going near the people who have hurt your feelings like this.

[CRazzyyAce]

Op we can't be liked by everyone and others might like you more and visa versa

[PGPsabitch]

You are better off without the ex friend op. You don't need that kind of toxicity or stress in your life.

[user1471888857]

Pgp-I'm starting to think she isn't either.
She hasn't even spoke to me since the wedding.
Yet liking all these girls posts/pics etc.
I can't even be bothered anymore.
Lots of girls tagging the bride with pics etc of the wedding night..random girls from her work etc ..just shows you she deffo doesn't like me

[PGPsabitch]

Your so called best friend isn't one. Every post about her just highlights it. I wonder if the bride did even mention you being invited because, from your latter posts, I wouldn't put it past her to invite you to spread the cost despite knowing you weren't invited.

To then rub salt in by going on about it, telling you about private chats you aren't on, belittling you to make her feel better...how can you even think her a friend?

I'd distance myself from the group. Any genuine friends will want to meet up with you outside the group and will contact you. Don't holiday with them and drop the shitty friend, she sounds like she enjoys making you feel shit to make herself feel better.

The bride may not like you, she may be disinterested, she may have heard poison from your friend. You just don't know. The one thing you do know is the person who set you up to be upset was your so-called friends. Concentrate on real friends and mute watsapp and fb chats and delete snap chat.

[CRazzyyAce]

I'm with the others the bride isn't a friend, she's an aquiance. This group was already established prior to you joining when your friend introduced you to them, they have already build up and developed close friendships within their circle. In such a large group as 8 you will find more smaller individual groups who are closer.

The bride didn't invite you directly your friend did, it was your friend who hinted you were possibly invited to the evening do not the bride. Sorry to be mean but if the bride wanted you there she would of sent a proper invite directly, everything has been through your friend.

I don't see how the bride has really been a bitch it's not as if she asked you to contribute to a gift again your friend did this. You don't socialise with the bride on an one to one basis and she's not someone you would confide in either. I think your expections are too high. You wouldn't know this group if it wasn't for the connection of your friend. I don't actually think your that bothered about attending the bride and groom a special day but more your missing out on a social event with everyone there.

I'm wondering if the bride doesn't have anything particularly in common with you (which is normal not everyone clicks with everyone and does sees you on the group activities)

Your friend on the other hand is mean especially as she's rubbing it in your friend, either she's shit stirred and told the bride you slagged her off or she knew the brides true feelings that she didn't see you as one of her close friends so decided not to invite you. I do think you've got to let it go. Please don't ask the bride why you weren't invited.

[honeyroar]

I feel for you OP and can understand why you're so upset. And jeez some of the people commenting on this thread are nearly as bitchy as your "friends". To me it's perfectly understandable to feel so upset if someone who you think of as a friend and regularly socialise with invites everyone else from your group and not you, then none of the others even discreetly ask why and then rub your nose in it during the run up and big day. I can understand you've come on here for a bit of sympathy and a whinge.

Personally I'd send a card or message wishing the bride a wonderful day, be bigger than them if they are being funny, then avoid the lot of them. Cancel the holiday and go with a real friend instead. If any of them question it, tell them you always feel a bit out of the group and you feel like its best if they go without you?

Anyway, enjoy your wine tonight. Have a rant and a cry if you need. Tomorrow you can pick yourself up and start to cut ties.

[user1471557868]

I would send the bride a card with your best wishes and rise above the actions from your hurtful 'friend'. Ditch her as soon as possible. It may be that the bride doesn't feel that close to you and felt awkward inviting you. Don't take it personally.

[AnthonyPandy]

I was not invited to either the day service nor the evening thing for a good friend (well I thought we were good friends). She sent me a photo a few weeks later but I had already seen them all over facebook. I didn't say anything but it was definitely the start of the end, there were a few other important events in her life within a few years and I was not part of those either. It made me see her in a completely different light but also when that happens, a vacancy is created in your life and it is said nature abhors a vacuum so you will find other friends OP.

[Waitingforsleep]

Hope you ok. I was here last year and unfortunately still hurts now.
My friend of over twenty years invited me to the evening only. Have met the invite at her hen do whilst everyone else there had already had their invites and booked hotels to the day. We hadn't seen as much as each other as lots were her work friends however 20years and me having kids I felt our friendship was solid. How wrong was I.
I felt hurt, confused, humiliated when people were asking what hat I was wearing to the church etc.
I'm afraid I didn't handle it that well. I left the hen do early and Didn't turn up to the wedding. I de friended her from Facebook and no one has spoken to me since.
Oops however I felt that strongly and although it still hurts stand by it.
I concentrate on friends who have similar values now and appreciate we were not the same.

[Jammiesrock90]

I would ask the bride after why I wasn't invited afterwards becase by the sound of your "close" friend it wouldn't suprise me if she's been bitching or stirring stuff up to the bride so I would want to clear the air with bride so I knew if I had to end the friendship or not but I'm straight up I like to know the truth so I can move on with my life cut out idiots.

Are you sure your not invited as it doesn't sound like your friend is the type of person to have a quite word and ask the bride to see if it's a simple mistake

[Mikkalina]

It's very painful for you, I believe. I hope you make new real friends. F.O to the bunch.

[MerylPeril]

Horrible situation user - one of the other 6 girls should have stepped in.
If you all socialise together so much one of them should have said something.

Weddings do ruin friendships.

My first friend to get married (very young) didn't invite any of us friends and wouldn't even tell us the exact time/date so we could stand outside the church. Said numbers were too tight for guests outside of family.

After the wedding she kept making us meet up with her to show us wedding photos, full of her DHs mates? Not one of hers. Id been friends with her since I was 4!
No thought we would bother - weddings are often a sign of friendship.

Like others have said - mean girls! Don't let them push you into meeting up again.

[offside]

I have a group of friends where we all socialise together on a regular basis. Some of this group are more aquaitences who I would invite on my hen doo and who I would think would invite me on theirs. However, I wouldn't expect and invite from them for their actual wedding and would just accept it as a nice surprise if I was.

From the way you are talking about them saying how you would never say anything to them, and how the bride said "oh yeah you can invite such and such a body" to the hen doo, this to me screams that you know you're not actually "friends" with the bride. Why would you need it confirming if you in particular was invited and why would you not tell them you were upset if you were all friends.

It appears to me that you are more aquaitences than friends. And that's ok. But there is a big difference.

[sevensome]

I sympathise with you OP - last year I had a friendship situation where I felt taken for a mug. Was angry /upset about it for ages.

[user1471888857]

We gave her the card with the spa voucher in on her hen night.
So she deffo knew it was from me too ..
All the pictures are on now..I'm so annoyed with myself for going on the hen night grrrr
What a mug.

[Mikkalina]

OP, I don't want to sound mean but what if the bride doesn't know you have contributed to the present? The sly friend, who always tries to humiliate you in front of others, could just not put your name on the list?

I would also congratulate the bride. Say that although you probably have already received greetings from me (friend has signed the card and gift at the hen party) but I wanted to send my best wishes again. Sorry, I am not good at frasing greetings. That will make her think. Otherwise, just forget and move on. X

[user1471888857]

I could of understood if it was a sit down meal that would of cost a lot for the bride but it's a social clubs function room with a Dj
Anyway She's married now and they will be onto the reception ..il enjoy my wine :-)

[igglu]

I had a friend like yours, I was really hurt that I hadn't been invited on a weekend away then found out years later that I had been but she'd told the others I didn't want to go. In hindsight this clearly happened many times but I was oblivious at the time because she was my friend, so why would she do that? There were other things she did that in the end made me abandon the "friendship" and I only found out about the weekend after that, but if its your friend who says you're not invited, I'd possibly take it with a pinch of salt.

[Squabblesallaround]

Aww op! If I ever get married again you can come to my wedding....as long as you don't invite one of those smug bitches as your plus 1 . I would be seething! If I had socialised with someone for 6 years they would definitely get an invite.
I have a group of 9 friends from uni days, one of which I can confess, thanks to MN anonimity, that I don't particularly like. I wouldn't dream of inviting everyone but her! It's not like you get a lot of 1-2-1 time with guests at evening do's anyway.....and the fact it is in a pub and guest buy their own adds insult to injury IMO

Hope you enjoy wine and X factor, I will be joining you

[user1471888857]

Tonight is going to be wine,takeaway and the X factor ..could do with a laugh.
After today no more wallowing ..it's well and truly opened my eyes.
I'm going to care for myself and those who care for me ..like others have said life is too short.

[Sallycinnamum]

OP, hide the posts on Facebook, Snapchat etc, allow yourself to wallow for today and move on.

Life is too short to have such a terrible friend. You'll look back on this and be glad you severed ties with the lot of them.

[ReySkywalker]

Hide them on fb

[ReySkywalker]

I can totally understand why you're hurt and you sound like a nice friend.

I would say they're a pack of mean girls and you're the scapegoat at the moment. Unbelievable that out of 8 of them who've spent all that time with you not one has said 'it'd be nice to invite xxxxx'

She's under no obligation to invite you but v bad manners to have accepted your gift and not invite you to afters.

Dust yourself off, send a congrats msg, then gather your dignity and walk away. They've shown loud and clear what they think of you and you'd be a fool to go out with them again.

Chin up

[pictish]

I understand OP. I wouldn't want to tag along where I'm not particularly held in any regard either.
I'm an independent and robust individual who can imagine how this has made you feel only too well.
I'd be done too. No question.