not feeling OLD?....dating thread 107

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Sky, I think I was able to cancel under the distance selling regulations and get my money refunded. Check out the Match website you should be able to do the same.

I'm also wondering if waving is ok? Is anyone in touch with her?

Sorry I'm on the mobile and can't scroll up for names.

I hope looby and mother had good dates.

Was also wondering about waving hope she is ok.

Well I am feeling like a silly old woman today. After binning Mr Socially Awkward because it had become booty calls only (not that I want serious just fun and friendship to go with the amazing sex). He convinced me that he prove that it wasn't about a leg over and that he did really like spending time with me.
We went out on Thursday and had a lovely evening, just sitting outside a pub and listening to the live music. We talked and laughed and he teased me a lot about having 5 more dates before anything sexual happened again to prove he was interested.
Messaged when we got home and said what a nice evening it had been and were joking about the sexless dates to come thing.
He had said he may be free Saturday evening for a date. We sent a couple of messages on Friday and I teased him about Tinder. We both came of it but not because of each other and he recently went back on there. All seemed fine.
Didn't hear from him on Saturday, kept the evening free (my only child free night per fortnight which he knows). Nothing at all from him, I thought work must have been an issue as it often is. Messaged him at 9pm to say "busy day?" and it has been sent and not delivered. This has never happened before so I think he has deleted messenger so he doesn't have to speak to me. I have been ghosted...again. Bastard.
I have sent another message this morning with same result and messenger is working fine for other contacts. Why do they do this? I was happy enough when I binned him. He did all the running and now I'm gutted.

Sorry for long post just needed to get it out.

Rosetta, I just wanted to say that I totally empathise... I am taken aback by the amount of game playing that people succumb to on OLD. There was this man who did everything to get me to agree to see him (you wouldn't believe it) and each time I agreed he sabotaged our meeting at the last minute... and then had the cheek to say he wasn't a fan of virtual dating but preferred to meet up asap.

It's not that we get emotionally involved with them, necessarily, but we do engage and 'waste' time on them.

Sigh.

Thank you thisis it's not nice that we all have to through these games but it is good to have this thread where people genuinely understand.

I think it is probably a generational thing. At 44 I'm so far out of my comfort zone with OLD. Having been in a relationship since I was 18.

I sometimes look at the tinder and dating subs on Reddit and I'm always shocked at what goes on and is seen as "normal" by the youth of today . The over 30's sub seem to be having as hard a time as me so it's really not just us on this thread...

Argh when that happens on messenger I think he's blocked you.

I'm sorry

Rosetta, again I understand. I'm forty seven so the same generation as you. Also the French site I'm on is free for women but men have to pay monthly. The novelty factor is that women can choose men and be proactive in their 'hunt' for a man. I absolutely cannot do that. I am simply not tuned in to instigating - orchestrating a little in real life - or making the first move. So the men approach me but I'm not sure they're always the best ones to interact with.

ps Rosetta, I don't think he has necessarily blocked you. I've had messages sent and not delivered recently and the person was simply switched off or off the grid. He got back to me a day or two later after a crazy day at work and lots of hours of driving.

It's far too easy in such times to see doom and gloom.

Update on first date for anyone interested It went well I think? 2 drinks - we both had plans after - and hes still texting me today? Good sign? We have lots in common. BUT he is a bit of a party boy, which I already knew. No second date planned but Ill see how the next few days pan out

Anyway, will see what happens. If Ive learnt anything from OD ... its don't get too carried away

Mr Shy hasn't text me all day today although I know he has his kids so I will not look anything into it.
Just really feels strange when we speak so often!

Sorry I know he might not have blocked you hope he replies soon

It is a good sign glad you have fun!

Thanks Myusernameismyusername I have had some really bad dates recently and many previous dating disasters So I cant get too carried away. He was lovely and tall though, very manly!

Aargh, anyway, I shall play it cool ... and see what happens from here? I guess I leave it to him to suggest a second date right?

No you don't have to leave it to him at all, maybe strike up a chat and invite him out on a particular night?

I'm at a weird stage now with Mr Shy as I just can't see what the next step is either. He's done some of the inviting but I try to as well to keep it balanced out

Have a bad feeling about things with Mr Shy. He's gone all back into his shell and it's a bit stilted. Oh dear, well I won't push things.
Onwards and upwards I have a busy life anyway

I am sorry I didn't update sooner. The date was good. I'm not sure we clicked he is very serious and I'm not. But he seemed a really nice person and wants to do it again. Except I'm only free every other weekend so I can't do it that soon.

I'm not entirely sure if I like him but would go on second date.

Have a bad feeling about things with Mr Shy. He's gone all back into his shell and it's a bit stilted.

Hmm, another thing I've learnt from OLD, trust your gut Have you heard anything from him today Myusernameismyusername?

Good to hear that the dates went well mother and looby

I don't think there is anything wrong with suggesting another date looby but I'm not the most successful dater . I do believe in equality and I hate the game playing that seems to come with dating though.

my sorry to hear that mr shy has reverted into his shell. I think your attitude of concentrating on other areas of your life is a healthy one and hopefully after a little contemplation he will bounce back with enthusiasm. And if not we'll you have the rest of your fabulous life, his loss.

Mr SA did get in touch yesterday to say he had internet problems. Wifi and 3G? no mention of radio silence regarding our possible date on Saturday. And nothing since. He is usually a keen messager so I think he has gone cold. Probably dating someone else but leaving the door open a crack with me, just in case. Wish they would just be honest about what they want and what they are thinking. I really can't be arsed with it all. If the sex wasn't so good (after two decades of crap or non existent sex) I would tell him to fuck off .

First post on this thread, but I have in trepidation started the whole OLD thing after 13 years out of the game.
Had a really nice spark with a guy, we messaged back n forth which was very funny, as he seems to have a great soh and is very similar to me on lots of things.
not crazy good looking but personality matters more to me, we met for a drink which was really nice...BUT he has terrible teeth, smokers teeth, but really bad even though he no longer smokes.
I just cannot understand why he hasn't done anything about it! he's not poor so could afford to.
anyway, went on a second date, mainly because he is SO nice. We talked for hours, he said he would quite like to kiss me, to which I replied "I don't know how I feel about that"
All i can say is it's not that I don't find him attractive, witty, clever, it's literally just the teeth. He's asked me for dinner and I just don't know what to say!!!
Would you tell him it's the teeth and can you do something about them
would you just not go and knock it on the head
I feel like it's a real shame, considering how many total dickwads there are out there!!!! and how well we get on. I would have 100% kissed him if it wasnt for the teeth...

Hmm that's a tricky one! I do wonder what the rest of his personal hygiene would be like TBH! However as an ex smoker I know how smoking fucks up your teeth. Personally I would say something if you do really like him. I'd tell him you do like him but you find his teeth off putting and it's a barrier to intimacy. It's then up to him if he sorts it out. You're actually doing him a favour as if you don't like it then other pp won't either. Be brave!

Nope I've been ghosted
I knew my gut instinct was correct yesterday
Oh well!
He had bloody better not text me again. The door will be closed

He's a bloody idiot Myusername. Another one.

I'm peeved mildly but I would rather not have some horrible awkward convo about it so probably better this way

I think the teeth are a deal breaker if they are that horrid!

It's still annoying though on the moment Myusername.

Skyrabbit I signed up for match.com too yesterday in a moment of madness. I stupidly thought it would be better because you pay for it but in my area it's ALL the same men who are on pof & tinder. What a let down! I've tried to cancel it today but they don't make it easy. So fed up