not feeling OLD?....dating thread 107

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Mygood welcome! He's a twat. But the danger of OLD is that pp make snap judgements which is why you need to meet in REAL LIFE to see if there's a real connection. Read the 'rules' at the start of this thread. They are V important...

Thankyou destiny I will have a read.
I could of been he's dream woman ..I feel like having half a lager now just to prove a point

Mygoodgod

Welcome to my world!

At last! I have a friend

Don't forget the rules though

I would like to just pipe up with a note to say, just because it isn't your fault does not mean that it is the other parties fault either.
It is perfectly acceptable for 2 pieces to not fit together and it not be because one of the pieces is wrong.
We should not focus on the negatives of others and instead focus on the positives of ourselves.
There seems to be of late a little too much on here of people being quick to judge and dismiss rather than try and understand and move on.
(sometimes they are just dicks though and you need to just forget about them)
There we go, rant over

Well the flurry of interest I had at the beginning of the week has gone up in smoke. Was due to meet one this morning for coffee but he seemed a little too interested in my "physical attributes" aka what size my boobs were because he is "a boob man" and apparently he's "not being rude" and "doesn't want to waste anyone's time" . Told him is that the conversation you would have if you met someone in a bar, he thought I was being funny then asked me my bra size when I didn't reply (conversation all via text) he responded with "leave it" aka let's cancel our coffee meet.........I have no words, really I don't.

Curly - lucky escape them he is a prick.
I had one guy ask me constantly for a Arse pic.
We haven't even had a date.
I can't be bothered anymore
Think i would rather be alone

sad yes lucky escape indeed, the thing is they look normal and behave well initially then the conversation starts to flow and I find that if they touch on the subject of sex using what I call code words then I know that's the end before it's even started. I completely I understand how you feel sad, we can all get a little disheartened.....it won't always be like this

OMG curly that is absolutely shocking. What the hell?? I actually have no words to sum up how much of a prick that guy must have been. I'm seriously flabbergasted.

I'm beginning to think something really sinister is happening in the world of dating, people are forgetting that they are chatting or ghosting or benching with real people with real feelings. It's so sad and quite unnerving. There will be a backlash at some point, there has to be.

What is it with men who think that boobs and bums are all that matters and they have an entitlement to a pic before a first date???

Im also sick of men commenting on whether my chest is real or not. (They are but still) I mean how would they feel if we were to grab their crotch and then question if there was a pair of socks shoved down there or not?

I agree that some people feel that being online gives them the right to say and ask things they'd (hopefully!) never dream of in real life.....

I've got two first dates arranged; one for tomorrow and one for the following Friday.

I usually just go for drinks (as you get to chat and it's easy to cut short if needed) but am going to see a band with the one tomorrow. What are people's views of going to a bar with an 'activity' on hand (e.g. crazy golf, bowling, table tennis) on a first date?

I agree some of these comments are appalling. Only good thing is that you are finding out v early on what they are really like. Fucking cowards wouldn't even have the nerve to approach you in a bar.

Think it's a good idea to meet in a bar with an activity as you can get to know them in a slightly more natural way.

Sent MrPosh a text today which he did actually reply to. He's in Italy right now. I sometimes think I want his life more than I want him, he's got a great job and lives in a lovely place and has lots of friends nearby. I've been slowly rebuilding my life after redundancy and being a carer for my dad who had dementia and it's taken a long time to get a semblance of a life back. It's getting better now tho so onwards and upwards!

Thank you DestinysDaughter I'm thinking maybe drink and chat first then if going well suggest activity... I always think the lives of the people I speak to online dating sound much more exciting than mine, and worry they'll think I'm a bit boring! I try not to read too much in to it as I guess everyone's trying to impress new people at the start.

Can I ask what you would wear for a date for food and drinks ?
I'm 29 and have no clue
Can anyone help ,I would like to make a good impression

I'd say go for something you've worn before and feel comfortable and confident in sadallthetimexx - shuffling round in too high heels or having to tug down a skirt that rides up would distract me from the date!

I'm early thirties and size 16/18, I usually go for a shirt dress, tights and heels or skinny jeans, brogues and blouse.

sad I'm sure you'll look fabulous! Depends on your shape and what you feel both attractive and comfortable in.

Also pp on Style & Beauty are v good at this kind of advice.

But even more important please change your username, that will make you feel better!

I've been told my legs are my best feature so I was thinking a skirt but I like to wear black tights as I feel like my bum would hang out.
Or a white shirt dress with ankle boots.
I worry if I wear the wrong thing he might get put off.

sada where are you going for food? I'd say definitely keep it under dressed for a first date, effortless is what you are after (even though you've prepared for an hour or two) smart jeans, nice top, should do it. Not a dress/skirt on first date is a rule many abide by.
Destiny don't forget he's projecting the best of himself, nobody's life is perfect.
Lana YY to activity dates, they are far less interview like. I'm all for them.

Damn you mother nature.....YC staying on Friday and Saturday and the flow of the moon arrives. Damn! Moose burger will have to wait. Perhaps this is nature giving me a helping hand, because I would not have stopped myself otherwise.

You know you can still have a lot of fun even on your period...

sad something I'd like to share with you. I have a good male friend and he told me something interesting recently. He said men really only notice the bits of your body they find attractive and literally don't see the bits that we criticise. So if they like your boobs, etc they won't notice bigger thighs ( or whatever it is ). May be superficial but was a good insight. And if he dismissed you because of what you were wearing he isn't worth it anyway!

I'm going on a 2nd date with Mr No Snogging tomorrow. It's a sober date. I will have to try to snog him

Oh dear, oh deary me.

I despair of OLD. Could there be a marked difference between French and English OLD behaviour? I'm on one site where the men pay but the women don't. I must confess I'm doing it more out of curiosity and amusement but it's got to the point where each time a man strikes up an online conversation I'm girding myself for the swift decline into sexual banter.

They can be so good at seeming perfectly easygoing and pleasant but as soon as I set the limits (politely and calmly) they run the risk of becoming, well, bloody agressive.

There's been this man in the pipeline; a disarming mixture of 'honest', 'kind', and 'respectful' with an array of sexual fantasies which, quite honestly, make me hoot with laughter. Last Friday I found out that a friend of mine knew him in real life and she urged me to meet up with him as he was really kind and funny. So we had another week of messaging. We fixed up a time to meet. He was acting so very keen but I kept things in check and he seemed to be respecting my decisions. Wednesday he became annoyed with me for not responding to a sms, tells me that he's interested in a relationship, bla bla bla. Thursday morning he sent me more messages, just an hour before we were supposed to meet up for breakfast and coffee. And then suddenly he texted me saying 'I've been thinking about this and I'm not going to meet up with you. I met someone last weekend and I don't want to be unfair to her'. I replied with a 'no problem' message. He then tells me they went to Venice last weekend and I replied that Venice must have been fabulous because Sunday he was texting me asking to meet up. He promptly sent me pictures of sunny Venice with him and a sweet looking young woman and whilst those photos could have been from last weekend or last year (who knows?) I wrote back a tongue in cheek final sms in which I wished him all the joy in the world and a cheery ciao baby, no more contact ever again please!

Of course, in the evening, he was on the OLD site updating his pictures to include ones of him, alone, in Venice.

Sigh.

He'll be back. Again. But I'm blocking him.

I'm so fed up of men. Going to share a pic of my cat instead. He's always there for me...😀

I found this amusing