not feeling OLD?....dating thread 107

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

What's up Destiny? Lovely cat by the !

Whoops, way!

Saw YC last night, it was a bit meh. I don't think I want a repeat performance, the whole thing just made me miss H&C more. Think I need a break from all this.
Destiny what's up?

Came across this on Twitter this morning, found it quite amusing - www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/sep/17/stella-grey-shacking-up-in-mid-life-makes-me-feel-28-again?CMP=twt

Oh that's a shame prizey, I was hoping it went well and aren't you suppose to be seeing him again today as he's your plus one?

Thanks Curly well we said it would probably be too much of a rush as he's working till late and needs to get ready and travel an hour so he'd miss most of it anyway. Probably a good thing as I'm not sure I want things to progress with him now anyway. He's a sweet guy just not for me now, I realised that last night.

2nd date last night just as good as the first with what I now call, Mr Shy.
He gave me a book I said I wanted to read
Still no kissing. I did give him a goodbye hug and a kiss on the cheek which he seemed to find awkward but I think that he was equally stressing about how to put a move on me and nothing seems to be quite right timing to lean in. Then I panicked he wouldn't kiss me back. And from the look on his face he thought the same thing haha.
I think this is because we talk so much about so many subjects that we don't really flirt. But I think we find each other attractive so this is weird.
I find him really attractive, more than I thought I did and now it's all the more exciting waiting for it to happen. But why isn't it happening? I don't really know how to flirt with him in the traditional way - it just isn't that kind of connection between us. We make good eye contact and laugh a lot and compliment each other.

Argh help!

As for outfits just wear something comfy. I wear black jeans and boots for casual and a dress with tights and flats for dinner

Feel fed up as I'm so lonely sometimes. Hate spending Friday night on my own. All my friends were busy with their own families. Came home and drank a bottle of wine, didn't even bother eating and fell asleep on the sofa! Was only me in the office today so had spent most of the day alone too. Just want someone to come home to and talk about our days, make some dinner and watch a film and snuggle on the sofa. Why is that seemingly such an impossible ideal??

Oh Destiny I know exactly how you feel. I'm fed up too. Why is it so difficult?
I had company last night but am now wallowing in self pity and regretting shenanigans with someone I didn't particularly fancy to help me forget someone I do really fancy, but in actual fact it had the opposite effect.

Prizey oh I've done that too! It doesn't really work does it? Who was this dude anyway...?

Prizey and Destiny, I cannot get over how, despite meeting, interacting, etc. with men in RL, I cannot get a man I'm really hooked on out of my head and heart.

Destiny no it really doesn't work at all, it was the 14 years younger dude....it was all quite meh...it just highlighted to me how much I miss the other one.....shit!😕

I'm in exactly the same boat This and I wish I knew the answer to the problem.

No no it doesn't work, you really have to resist that urge to do that for the wrong reasons because of how you feel the next day.
I've said it before, the way I broke this for me was a sex ban. Total. Until someone commits to me more than a few dates. Some people can have fun carefree sex but if you have self esteem difficulties or you are lonely it won't help you feel better.
You need to work harder with building friendship groups than you do meeting a man. The man is my back up when I am not busy seeing friends or doing my own thing, until I feel like he is worth the effort of going on the equal level with the other things.

Man hating doesn't help either, if you engage with the ones you know aren't any good for you just because you don't want to be alone.

And I say this all with love and affection for my fellow woman who wants to settle down. Dating is far harder if you go into it feeling lonely or negative about yourself. You attract people who don't care about bringing out the best side of you because in the first few moments of meeting someone you already have your impression and it's hard to show people who you really are in a short period of time. Someone who is worth knowing doesn't want to see your boobs before he knows more about you as a person.

I've posted occasionally on here usually about fuckwits ... but first date with a Tinder guy in about 2 hours. Eek. 5 weeks of talking ... (holidays in between) Wish me luck

(He seems nice, and normal ... but soon find out)

I've got a date tonight I don't have a nickname for him yet.

I'm scared

Good luck. It will be fine!

Thank you. I'm watching celebs go dating to get me in the mood!

Me and Mr Shy play 'would you rather?' or put your phone on shuffle and cringe at the first 5 songs that come up.
Also ordering something to eat or drink you have never tried before.
So just think of fun things to do/say and it will all be good!

Thank you Username you are absolutely right of course. I think I do need to resist the urge to get intimate with men too soon. I will do this because right now I am not in a good place. Hungover, feel cheap and missing someone I felt something real for. Have a party to go to in a few hours so will put on my slap and glad rags and party on!
Also really really resisting the idea to contact H&C at some point (he went cold and I broke it off, he said he was sorry I felt like that but understood) and hoping so much he contacts me. So stupid I know.

Good luck loobyloo and mother have fun!!

Agree building your friendship groups is so important, if you are feeling thirsty or needy for attention and affection it puts you in a vulnerable place. Enjoy your dates everyone tonight.... And do a loo update if you can! 😀

No word f

No word from looby or mother yet - sounds promising!!
Where has waving gone and why? Is she ok?

I got maudlin last night and fecking signed up for match.com
£30 quid down the drain that I can't even afford. Why the hell did I do that?? There's not even any one vaguely lovely on there. I'm an idiot.