So I've found out DH is still in contact with OW

[LippyLiz]

Meant to be reconciling, which hasn't been going too bad, not perfect, but not bad. I've come on holiday with DDs. He wanted to come and I wouldn't let him. I've been having second thoughts about him (on and off) whilst away. Yesterday I was texting his closest friend whose been trying to talk sense into him. He told me that DH is still in contact with OW and he wants to be with her. He's been using a spare phone. I'm devastated. I know he hasn't seen her for weeks as she lives so far away. She was also meant to be reconciling with her DH with whom I'm in contact with. I text DH and told him it was over, no going back. Not a single response back.

I'm so confused as to why two people who were caught out having an affair would go back to their DPs and then continue to contact each other, knowing that we'd be over if they were caught. I'm so sad, everyone was right about him. I don't feel stupid, just sad

Once you get him out you can begin to heal. Stay strong and you will get through this. Love youself and your girls.

even if he swings through the window like the bloody Milk Tray man with a rose stuck up his rear,, it doesn't matter, because you are having time alone.

I like that, that made me laugh. Yes I am having time alone. He hasn't been in touch today and I'm so pleased. I feel more relaxed as of this evening with no anxiety and that is what I need. I need to feel that all the time. I feel positive for tomorrow.

It's September and so far no drama this month

Hi Liz. There's no getting away from it, what you're doing is hard. You are going to have moments of doubt.

I had quite a lot of counselling actually to get me away from the point of dwelling on what his motivations are, were etc. It would go round and round.

You are making choices for you. Not easy, especially when you have been with someone for 14 years. But you also get a right to choose, he made his choices.

One practice piece of advice is take up a new hobby, something that you will enjoy and will get you out the house. It will make you feel good and give you a society who didn't know the married Liz, you can be you're own new invention.

Don't doubt that what you're doing is hard though and you will have moments of doubts.