Opening up for happiness

[hareinthemoon]

We are continuing on with our 30 days (or more) NC with the past (see previous thread here ) and we are looking into the future with hope and positivity.

A little bit of trepidation is allowed also. Contact with exes is discouraged, but support is the constant.

As far as I know nothing went on between them. But my ex friend did have form for messaging/ sleeping with others boyfriends/ husbands, being inappropriate and she split up two marriages by having affairs. I spoke to ex about messages and saw some of them, to be fair he didn't react too much to her or ask for further info..
Waving- I think your ex has seen you and feels either guilty or isn't so happy himself? He clearly isn't over you if he allowed that connection to happen- still has feelings I think.. But he has treat you very poorly.
I think seeing you has triggered the feelings..

That's the thing- in order to move on you need to not see him at all. He will be moving area soon. It's taking up headspace for what? I totally understand it, I'd probably do the same myself but don't have that option as he's the other side of the country.. Everything is left to my imagination
I've never been hurt before like that by a 'friend' .. I overlooked that side to her as we had other things in common. We spent a lot of time together and I shared intimate stuff,, we were really close. I really don't understand why she was so deceitful? Jealousy perhaps? I really don't know. One things for sure I know she won't be agonising over it like I have. We are still friends on FB but she stopped liking any of my posts. She was very cruel and hurtful and I didn't do anything! My ex has de friended her but blocked me 😔

I watched a video of mr unavailable and the fallback girl- am ordering now!

Morning all. Well I nearly reached for the wine last night but stopped myself and went to bed early instead. Woke up at 3am ish with those horrible feelings so got a journal and started writing it down. At least it gets it out and I can look the next day. I'm hoping it helps. It gets to the stage where I question it's more of an obsession? I'm listening to helpful videos on YouTube and have ordered the book. I'm going to write down the thoughts and negatives as I remember them. I need to be realistic, he wasn't perfect etc.
Another night out for me tonight.
I didn't get a response from text and I have to expect I won't.
Waving- is your date a new guy or a 2nd date?
I'm going to make a positive move and go to gym today.

Good luck to your dd4

I'm so pleased I didn't touch the wine last night. I've been out with a friend- has helped. How are you now waving?
I bought another self help book today.
How long is it you've been split now waving? Hope you're feeling a bit better ahead of tonight

I'm much better.. Like you say, it isn't a linear process. I'm feeling more like 'me'.. I feeling more hopeful about the future. I'm feeling a better mum.
I'm out tonight with a friend, may well flirt a bit.. I'm going to be starting on the wine early. Alcohol is a depressant but makes you feel good at the time. Sometimes you just need a break from 'it'...
I'm going to invest in a bike and take up running again.
Good luck waving

Hello, yes, back on. I hope you both have a good time tonight. I think it's interesting to see how we all move on.
I'm meant to be meeting the guy I met before this weekend but I really have a different take on him than I would have before so really not that fussed. I haven't had any interest in contacting any of the men who messaged me either except one who put the effort in to tell me about himself and seems quite switched on so we're going to meet next week. I think even if nothing else it's all a good distraction.

Good morning, glad you had an good time on your date Waving. I think it's worth going again if you had a nice time just for the experience.

Yes, weekends are mixed for me. I have to try and cram in ds's activities as well as trying to have a life of my own. It's also when I see all the other families with father's around.

I've definitely decided I won't be beaten by anything now. I'm a week in from accepting that I am alone with ds but have decided if I meet anyone in the future, if they want me they'll accept my situation.

In the last few days I've had investigations start for a symptom that could range from nothing too serious to very (I'm in medicine so I've got a full range of diagnoses in my head). I was very tearful yesterday and panicked by how I would manage ds if further treatment is required but I went to sleep with a very empowering feeling of knowing I can handle anything that life throws at me now no matter what. I'm not sure I would have thought that a few months ago.
I'm speaking to the guy who seems really decent later on, really trying to maintain perspective and not get my hopes up though. I think that's quite a natural feeling though. I guess hope is good.

Morning..
A good night overall although think I'll slow down with the nights out and do something more productive. It's expensive and I don't like the low it gives you the next day although I'm not too bad today.
I found myself feeling angry last night when I'd had a few too many..
Nevertheless I think we are all moving on..
I'm messaging someone from tinder on/ off all week just friendly chat not really flirty. I think what I'm missing is having someone there for me, interested in what I'm doing, checking in etc..
I'm trying not to think that my ex has met/ is interested in someone else, it still hurts.
Jenny- did you meet the guy last night?
Waving- how was your date?

I noticed the ex friend has now unfriended me on FB. So a new chapter. I'm pleased as I haven't had to but feel sad too. I really need to be stronger and realise how inappropriate she was messaging my ex private stuff. I know I'm better off without her but feel wobbly

Know the feeling waving. Feeling quite low myself, especially since this latest revelation. Glad the date went well, do you feel it is moving you on? Perhaps give him a chance and the feelings/ fancying may grow..
I still don't feel ready. But I'm enjoying messaging the bloke on/ off. It's fine at a distance but I know I'm not emotionally available myself now!

I think it's a strange day. I've been chatting on the phone to the guy that had been messaging me this week. He seems really nice but then turned out he was 4 years older than his profile says. I think I've decided OLD is a bit too remote for me and I struggle putting together who I think someone might be with who they really then are which really is what happened after ex.

I think I'll possibly only get into a relationship with someone else if I meet them through a real life situation. I think I'm still meeting the other guy for coffee tomorrow but I don't seem to have the message motivation with him though despite having met him already. Maybe I just need to be single.