feeling fragile-sex on second date and he hasnt called!

[sallybee30]

hi all, feeling very foolish as I slept with this man too soon and presume I'm not going to hear now..
background is , I'm 48, been out of the dating game for a while and joined an introduction agency a few months ago which is pretty expensive presumably to stop time wasters etc. have met several men with occasional dates, all fine but didn't want to take them any further-until this one-we chatted on the phone a few times then met him and just thought"wow"-he told me he also was really pleasantly surprised and after several calls/texts arranged dinner, a really amazing night out with a choice of really lovely restaurants with cocktails first. I thought the date was going really well and he was really keen -we then went back to his as it was very close by and ...did the deed. I did say it was a bit soon and he said what did it matter, then seemed to cool a bit and eventually got me a cab home ,kissed me and texted me to check I got home ok and he had a great night-but no other plans. this was Monday night and I've heard nothing. the agency does have members etiquette rules and I know they will be asking us both for feedback soon but just cant help feeling it was a premeditated plan to get laid. if so why not just go to a bar? he is extremely attractive, wealthy and sociable. have I just been played? sorry its so long I'm a newbie poster!!!

I think you've been played, sorry. A guy like this won't be sitting at home, too insecure to send a text. He made an investment (which was nothing to him as he was well off) and it paid off. I'm really sorry, OP.

My spider senses were alerted at his three week holiday in a couple of days. It's as though he was warning you that you wouldn't hear much from him.

Sorry if I've missed it in the thread as I read it quickly, but I'm guessing from what I read that he paid. You said you texted to say you got home safely and had a great night, but did you actually say thank you by text (for the meal / drinks)? I'm sure you did and you said it in person, but I couldn't see it in the thread, and some guys feel used if they aren't thanked. Maybe he felt upset?

OP, that's what these guys were telling me, they don't feel that picking up in a bar is right "at that age" and they think that's why men use agencies ( cos they'd never admit to doing this themselves lol)

If the guy was loaded the fee probably didn't mean much to him.

That said, I've just realised, was this Monday as in day before yesterday? In which case you might well hear from him..?

There's a book "He's not that into you" or similar. That was a good read on my way to thinking about dating again.

I have a date tomorrow, he's showing signs of being keen. I'm keeping more level-headed. TBH I'd quite like sex, so if the opportunity arises and we like each other I wouldn't hold back. Not on date 1, but if that goes well then I'd consider after. If he didn't call, I'd think it's his loss.

To quote a well worn phrase which would stop all this angsty speculation,

" he's just not that into you."

Sorry OP 🍰🍷❤️

X post lol!

I agree with Imperial, I doubt very much he's sat at home moping and wondering if he should call you.

You had a nice time, if something comes of it then fine, but if he's already making an excuse to not contact you for three weeks then I'd be thinking it's not going to happen again, or certainly not as anything other than shag pals, sorry. I'd be inclined to leave it at that as if he wants to contact you again during his holiday, he will.

Does the agency have any other potential dates for you?

Oh for goodness sake don't text him! He'll think his cock is made of solid gold if he can ignore you after a shag and then you go chasing after him with "casual" texts.

You got humped and dumped. Sorry, but that's the chance you take when you shag a virtual stranger.

Chalk this one up to experience and get back onto the agency to get you a lovely new bloke. Let this one please himself.

Definetly don't text after all the updates you have posted he is not the one for you

Move on Op

When he returns from holiday and he texts you (because I bet he will) own it and say "sorry was lovely but I've moved on!"

I'm with Teddygirl. Don't get in touch, IME if a man is really into you he'll be straight in there, nothing will stop him.

You don't know this guy, you've met him twice. For all you know he could be married.

Did you actually say 'That was lovely' after you had sex with him?

If you did, you owe him a text. Lovely? Blimey.

Men, no matter how wealthy, can be insecure too you know. If you liked him & had a good time just text him. Ask him if he fancies a drink before he goes away.

Way to make an insecure lady feel worse!

You don't know HOW she said "that was lovely" or what happened after

Be you OP

What's wrong with lovely?

I'm keen to know too

You don't need to proclaim "your a fucking sex God, that was the best sex of my life"

That was lovely whilst snuggling into someone's chest, is romantic

That was lovely... I suppose (different context)

Ok am missing my DP and have had too much wine

yes I was cuddled up to him and said it-not really getting what was wrong with that?

Nothing wrong with what you said. Did he agree it was lovely?

Just checking- did you use protection? I've heard stories of men and women who use dating sites as a bed hopping tool.

yes I think so, its a bit of a blur tbh, he was definitely into cuddling after as I recall, the alcohol was hitting a bit badly by then!

Beware the charm. It's usually used as a disguise

iME underneath "charm" lies a freak and/or fraud.

Also charm in men gets normalised and romanticised by Hollywood, enabling toe rags worldwide.

Beware charm.

sallybee, you sound lovely, please just wait and see. If he gets in touch, then great. If he doesn't, it wasn't meant to be. Whether you jumped into bed with him on the first date or tenth has no bearing on whether there is a future or not. Stop wondering and fretting. I know this sounds daft, but try not to take it personally..you've done nothing wrong, stop thinking you have.

IME men always call the next day if they are interested but then that was when I was in my 20s and quite attractive! Oh the days of knowing the phone would ring by 8pm! Maybe men are a bit slower when you a have a bit of baggage, they may need time to mull it over.

I would definitely wait for him to call if he left it until after the holiday I would kick him to the kerb tho.

Nothing wrong with that at all sallybee

Maybe men are a bit slower when you a have a bit of baggage,

WTF

I'm sorry but really??

I'm being honest I have lots of baggage! It's not as easy as two uni students meeting in a bar.