Just found out partner has been cheating

[Standingonmytippytoes]

That's it really. We've been together 10 years. The girl in question came around an hour ago to inform me. Apparently according to him because he ended things with her.
I had a long post but I lost it and I say girl because she was 17. Partner is 33.

Sending you hugs op.

Your oh sounds disgusting.

Let me tell you I am single. My dd1 friends come onto me all the time. They are very attractive, fit, intelligent young men. They are aged around 20.

There is no bloody way I would fall into bed with them , because I have a conscience.

Your oh is a complete dick. One day you will look back at this time in your life and think thank goodness I moved on, you will be in a much better place.

It's still very early days for you OP. There will be reasonable days, crap days and really crap days. In time you'll start to have good days, then they will increase. Don't expect too much of yourself. Lean on people in RL, lean on us, we will help. Take time off work if you need to. You're going through a type of bereavement, it is very hard but small steps, and you'll get there. So many of us identify with your pain. Treat yourself as you would your best friend. You're doing well.

I would definitely try and take some time off work. When I found out about my situation i didn't do this (it was difficult as I found out about half an hot before starting a brand new job), and eventually I fished my probation as I just could cope with the stress of it all at once.
This is one of the worst things you will have to go through op-it's not surprising you are feeling unwell. In sure work would understand if you explained it.
Be kind to yourself.

He 's meeting her to have a chat with her? Why not just ring her (whilst standing next to you if he just wants to tell her to stop harassing you and that's all? has she been by the way?) seems a bit overkill to go and meet her if he doesn't want anything to do with her.
Hope the dc are ok op-What age are they again? Would they understand if you tried to give them an age appropriate explanation of where he is so they aren't wondering?

Failed my probation, not fished it. That might have been better!

If he was serious about working things out with you there would be zero meetings with her. He would have coldly cut her out without a second thought.

He wants to meet with her for some reason so is doing so.

His actions show you a lot more than the words when he says he wants to be with you.

He has arranged to meet her today though "for a chat because she's been harassing me" Why if he's so interested in trying to mask us work is he still trying to keep her sweet that right there just proves what a loon he is.

Have you told him that she's harassing you?

He wants to keep her sweet because he enjoyed the sex and doesn't want to cut off the chance of more from her.

After all she told you about the affair, because he refused to leave you.

Sleeping with your sidepiece in the marital bed is unforgivable. Even more so with your children in the house.

Don't have him back.

OP, you're inspirational

I've literally just sat here for god knows how long reading through this post and as others have said I'm in complete awe of your strength OP. You have shown so many women out there that this behaviour is unacceptable.
Regrettably I stayed with my DDs dad after he cheated on me (twice, that I know of) once in our bed while I was pregnant! He blackmailed me each time I found out by saying he was ill and depressed and that he was just so scared of being a dad blah blah blah. It damaged me. I lost all self confidence, self esteem, self worth!
We ended up splitting up when DD was 1, there wasn't one big argument or one reason in particular why, I guess we just fell apart after I lost all trust for him. I honestly thought that I'd be on my own forever, I was broken and to me that was it.
fast forward 5 years and I'm with an amazing man that I trust with my life. I couldn't have wished for anyone better. we're engaged and have DCs together. he's the best dad and loves my DD as if she was his own!
I truly believe that this will happen you, you are clearly an amazing woman, strong and independent, and you deserve someone who treats you and your DCs like you're the only people who matter.
Keep going. the only way is up from here xxx

Just read the whole thread. I am in awe of the way you've handled this. Stay strong. You really deserve to be happy and you have done all the right things.

Stay strong OP

OP just wondering if you ever told the OW's parents? I am in similar position although the OW is not quite as young. Would have a way of contacting her mother but not sure if I should. Know it's probably not the right thing to do but at the same time would feel quite satisfying.