Sex Survey

[Nothorny]

I'll try to put this in a nutshell. DH is worried that everyone else out there is having loads of sex after having had a baby and that we are "abnormal". DS is six months old, first child. I know all the reasons as to why we are not having sex and am confident we shall pick up again soon, once the breast feeding has stopped, we get more people to help us and therefore have more time, are less tired, etc etc you know the score.

ANYWAY, could you lot please just let my poor old dh know when you started having sex again and how often (roughly!)say for the first year. I am sure we are not alone in our sexual desert but it would reassure dh greatly if he heard it from all your horses' mouths. Thank you so much. Of course, all you amazing people who bonk five times a week and have done since a week after the birth, do let us know too. Thanks. Oh I've used a different pseudonym BTW.

oh yes, that phrase, 'babysitting' really makes me see red, but I've had to learn to control my anger. My dh will insist on using it - he knows it's red rag to a bull for me and lots of my female friends. That's a great part of thye attraction. The times I have had a 'babysitting' termuinology argument with him! IN the end I just accept he won't change his words - buit at least he will look after the children, call it what he wants.

Help - keyboard is unfamiliar!!!
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Tyhat's partr d

[hra phrasege babysitting

Hey Tigermoth, what happened? Are you lost in cyber world?

My dh has corrected me on a couple of occasions I dare say he is babysitting, not meaning it as it says. He says he is not babysitting, he is his dad.

Couldn't agree with your DH more, Joe1

My dh only says he is babysitting when he has my friends three children to look after as well when we have a girls night out!!!

Message withdrawn

Oxocube-thanks for the message, 2 kids later DH is much more responsible!

Suzannem

I think you have done fantastically well to lose the weight and good for you, I hope you have treated yourself to something nice and new to wear. You deserve it.

As for your dh - what an idiot. Sorry, but I think he has behaved disgustingly and no wonder you feel hurt, I would feel completely devastated and turned off him if my dh said something like that. Sounds to me like he needs a kick up the backside. I agree with Rhubarb, go out and enjoy yourself.

I hope he is Mr Fit considering his comments and doesn't have bandy legs, lovehandles, big tits or a skeletal physique !!! I expect he has the body to die for considering his comments !

Rhubarb, I'm here! I am waiting for a replacement cable for my laptop - should be here in a week or so. In the meantime, I'm going to libraries and internet cafes every so often to check my emails - and mumsnet of course!

Oh Star we all say things on here that we often regret later on. It's no big deal. I used to live in Aberdeen for a while and I came across so much anti-Englishness it was unreal! It got me down too, especially when the World Cup was on, I supported Ireland and Scotland too, but they never supported us. To hear them cheering and clapping when we were out of the league really upset me, it was as if they really didn't want us to be a part of Britain at all. I left Aberdeen before I intended to, I couldn't put up with it any longer. So I do know how you feel. But the good thing is that here on Mumsnet I haven't had that vibe so far, everyone is so accepting no matter where they come from or what class they are.

Hope things get better for you soon.

Tillysmummy. Thanks for your support, but dh is not all that bad really! He's just a bit stuck in his ways. He may be a bit of an idiot in the odd way, but in others he's the best husband you can have. He has seen me through two depressions, despite openly admitting that he can't fully understand what I go through.

I was a bit down when I wrote my comment on this thread, and although that doesn't change what he said to me, I suppose that at least he tells me the truth. I did need to lose weight, but couldn't find the incentive, so I have him to thank for my new svelte and sexy figure!

You have to weigh up the pros and cons in life, and his pros far outweigh the cons. He still does annoy me at times, but I married him knowing what he was like, and I'm far from perfect myself!!!

Message withdrawn

Star - don't ever leave us...we love you !

Just a thought...this thread started out being about sex, and has become a cyber-hug fest. Seems we do prefer just to cuddle, after all!

God star, I can't be bothered to read all this thread, are you going to leave??????? Don't!!! I can't be only one with a Hello Kitty fetish on the site!!!!!!

Don't go!

Glad to see you're back, star.

And my new power cable arrived this morning - for my laptop, not for me though I could certainly do with more power...

Anyway, not much time to post - off to legoland now.

Star - I remember feeling just as sensitive about anti Englishness when living in Scotland and being on the receiving end of Scottish racism against the English. (Now I'm in England, of course, I can't see an awful lot to defend about it!!)

Rhubarb - sorry to hear of your experiences of Aberdeen. I didn't think people here were so bad. My parents are English and have lived in Scotland for nearly 50 years. I was born in Aberdeen 36 years ago and still live near there. I'd not really want to live anywhere else. My DH is English and hasn't had a problems - certainly not from anyone worth bothering about anyway.

I love the word nong bloss! I guess most folk know of the Scottish word 'ejjit' - I think that's how you spell it but basically means the same thing.

Welcome Back Star! You've been missed.

Eulalia
I would spell it 'eejit', but know what you mean. What about 'dreech'?? Or, since you are near Aberdeen, 'Fit like, quine?'

ok, i've just come back from holiday in italy to cyber fights over racism. We had a wonderful time in the sunshine apart from my husband getting completely paranoid about the italians staring at his tattoos (he is covered in them). So he went around grumbling about "bloody foreigners" staring at him like he was a freak and did a lot of glaring back until I pointed out to him that apart from the fact the he was the "bloody foreigner" they weren't in fact amazed by his tattoos (as I speak Italian and could understand what people were saying) but rather by the number of children he had produced (we had my 2 step kids and our son with us and I am very visibly pregnant). The italians average less than 1 child per family. He then wanted me to start explaining to them why he had so many children and why he split up with the mothers of his other children and while I was at it I could explain about the tattoos too....MEN! (ok now i've switched from a nation to half the world). Sorry, if I am offending anyone. The comments are meant to be in jest. I am a mutt myself (jewish, catholic, italian, american, russian, romanian, german, polish, austrian-hungarian....and that's just the bit i know about).
Simon, I've found that the frequency of sex is on average an inverse relationship with the length of the relationship. Lots of bonking in the beginning which slows down to a dribble after 5 or 6 years.

Susanmt, the spelling is "driech", sorry that some peeps have had not a nice response from us Scots, but, I must admit, when you go south of Carlisle some English people refer to us "Jock!" and it gets right up my nose. Got lots of English peeps living round here and they haven't had any problems from anyone.

Although, when Scotland won the curling we suddenly became Great Britain.

Having gone through the 'can't be bothered unless I have had a bottle of wine stage' I am now in the receptive '2 days after period stage which can be lively. It can only get better.