Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

This is a sure way to start an argument!!

189 replies

WhoGivesAFlying · 27/07/2016 22:21

I go to try an arrange something for us to do at the weekend (or anything) for when his kids are here so they aren't bored out their brain again and when I try to get a straight answer he says "I don't want an argument" Angry Angry like I fucking do? Just say yes or no! Make one decision for once in your life ffs! He want to leave everything to me (even opening his mail) but when I need an answer I'm "harassing" him! Arrrrrrrrrrr!

OP posts:
Original poster
WhoGivesAFlying · 28/07/2016 21:24

You lot are making me cry, to take the time out to post, to care about a strange. Maybe it's karma for all the wallets/phones I've handed in. I don't want to be sad, I want to be hell fury!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
WhoGivesAFlying · 28/07/2016 21:26

I can't stop thinking about the panic in his eyes today when I said I actually didn't give a shit if we stay together or not

OP posts:
Original poster
WhoGivesAFlying · 28/07/2016 21:28

Doublemint I'm so sorry.

OP posts:
ChanelNo314 · 28/07/2016 21:29

do cry sweetheart

That's the anaesthetic wearing off.

Cry, cry, cry, but then act.

Doublemint · 28/07/2016 21:29

That's because he likes to have control of you and he uses violence to do that.

Don't mistake his nonchalance about sorting stuff for his kids etc for not caring. It's probably a great tool to criticise everything you do because he lets you do everything.

Sending cyber hugs xxxx

Doublemint · 28/07/2016 21:30

Ach don't be sorry for me, my dad was an ill man, I'm happy now, my mum is happily married and all is good in our world xxxx

Garbadgeman · 28/07/2016 21:33

I think you have to cry first, get all the emotion out so you're left with cold, controlled anger and steely determination. I doubt there's anyone on this thread who doesn't want to hug you and let you cry on us tonight, you're not alone Flowers

KindDogsTail · 28/07/2016 21:40

Please make yourself his ex too and do as other posters have suggested including deleting your history.
Flowers He is completely horrible.

hidingwithwine · 28/07/2016 21:44

Oh OP I've just read all this thread. Please please take your wee one and get the hell away from this twat. I know that's so easy to say rather than do but your little one can't grow up around this. Make sure you're covering your online tracks and make some plans Sad

Original poster
WhoGivesAFlying · 28/07/2016 21:49

I've delete all history and stopped email notifications. I'm not strong h tonight but if by what I've read and what some of you have gone through I will be. I had to delete the pic as its was too telling.

OP posts:
Garbadgeman · 28/07/2016 22:01

Do you think he'll come back tonight OP? What will you do if he does?

NovemberInDailyFailLand · 28/07/2016 22:30

Please don't tell yourself you're 'biding your time'.

You don't have time.

Supercali3228 · 28/07/2016 22:51

OP are you ok? Is he back yet? Let us know if you can if you're alright.
Praying...don't know what else to do... For you and your son to be safe and sound tonight. God bless xxx

Supercali3228 · 28/07/2016 22:54

Call your dad?

ChanelNo314 · 28/07/2016 23:00

Can your Dad drive down to get you.
I walked away with a ruck sack. he still attacked me anyway

ChanelNo314 · 28/07/2016 23:01

ps, I scrolled back up to see if your photo was still there, I was going to save it to my lap top for you, for the future.
I hope some body else did that..... perhaps!?

nicenewdusters · 28/07/2016 23:22

You said earlier that you were going to lock him out if he wasn't back by a certain time.

Have you locked him out ?

If so, has he returned and tried to get in ?

If you're waiting for him to return do you feel that you could call the police ? Remember he's already known to them. Tell them that he's been drinking, he knows you're thinking of leaving, and that he has recently assaulted you. Even if you don't want them to come now, they can be on alert in case you need them.

Could you phone your dad ? He feels about you the way you feel about your son. You would do anything to save your son, wouldn't you ? Let your dad help you now, if you were my daughter I'd be there in a heartbeat.

Sofie88 · 28/07/2016 23:27

Leave at your earliest chance... whilst he's away with work?? It sounds so toxic and dangerous! Your child must be able to pick up on the atmosphere of the house, so even if he hasn't been hurt he's still being affected by it all.
All these posters are doing it because they are worried about you.
Please stay safe OP. (((((Hugs)))))

Original poster
WhoGivesAFlying · 28/07/2016 23:50

He's back, and drunk, best for nothing. I'll direct him to bed

OP posts:
nicenewdusters · 28/07/2016 23:52

Try not to engage with him OP. Keep your phone by you. Don't get into any discussions. Are you ok ?

Supercali3228 · 29/07/2016 00:13

Oh thank God, sounds like he's drunk enough to not cause you trouble, hope he has a nice deep sleep and a very heavy horrible hangover headache tomorrow so he stays quiet and sleepy and gives you time and space to think :-)
Hope you get some sleep too. Your head must be a bit fried by now.
Xx

Newbienew · 29/07/2016 00:25

Tomorrow morning take that leap of faith for a new start for you and your child. You owe it to yourself

pillowaddict · 29/07/2016 00:40

Hope you're ok op.

nicenewdusters · 29/07/2016 07:08

Morning OP, just wanting to know that you're safe and well ?

ChanelNo314 · 29/07/2016 07:51

I hope you're ok.
I hope you weren't on the recceiving end of that drunkenness

do it today OP. Leave for your Dad's and sort the rest out later.
Everything else can be sorted out later.

do it while you have a bit of momentum behind you.
if you wait for a better time there won't be one.