Anyone up? DH is leaving me follow up thread. Onit's on it!!

[onitlikeacarbonnet]

Link to my last thread.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2658829-Anyone-up-DH-is-leaving-me?msgid=62446916

Sounds like a wonderful start to a wonderful day.

Well done you 💐

Chocolate cake for breakfast in bed makes everything wonderful
I have a very happy boy who said it was his best birthday ever.

I'm home, ready to hit send and then I'm turning off my phone to LCB and going to sleep till the kitchen fitter shows up

Your last post would make a great last line in a novel!!

Happy birthday to your DS!! Great reply. When arranging contact like this, I've found that I have to be specific on times/dates etc with no option for wriggle room cos he'll do it just to piss you off! Well done onit - you're a legend & don't you forget it !!!

Happy birthday onit junior!

Had a reply within an hour which I've replied to in part.
He's picking the DC up from school so felt, for their sake, he needed to know about the conversation. He also told me that they'd seen photos of her and he'd told them she was a friend. I wonder now if this is why ds was asking questions.
I was brief but informative and added a comment at the end that I wouldn't lie for him anymore.

I refrained from mentioning about him introducing her as I don't want to put ideas in his head and I want the DC to be in my care when I tell him I've seen the messages they'd sent to each other and I'm prepared to share them with his friends, family and colleagues if he brings that whore within 100 feet of my children.

Awesome editing there, onit,

Remember nothing says "I don't give a shit about you" like a really short email. I'm very impressed!

x-post!

'He needed to know about the conversation'. Errr.

I do think you're going to have to brace yourself for their meeting. It is shit.

However, don't ever doubt that you will always, always be their number one.

So now you discover he has been Softly Softly introducing the Harlot all along. While you have been postponing as he forbid you to tell them.
What an utter 2 faced manipulative bastard.
Time to give him both barrels.
Bastard

I have to laugh birdy as the rest of my reply is ridiculously long

I am on the verge of letting him have it mix
I will see him at drop off tonight and I'm swithering whether to have a quiet word in his shell-like about the messages and that they're sitting in a draft email to his parents, his sister, his friends and bosses and anyone else who's in my address book.
But that would be nasty, wouldn't it?

Save the message thing. No need for the big guns(!)

I'd just say casually- 'so I was sworn to secrecy about your affair and you were busy showing Photos of her to the kids? right, I see'

(I doubt he intended them to see but that's just another way he is being slack/too absorbed with her to get it right.)

You're right!
Those guns are too big to waste on one teeny tiny disagreement about Christmas or some stupid girl.

They're for the judge when he's demanding 50/50 custody (haha)

yes, don't tell him the big stuff.
But if he starts lording about over his harlot, I would give him "that" look, head tilted......& say. "I will say exactly what I like, when I like..........
& leave.

What a ducking wanker that man is.

What birdy said....
You've been agonising about wether to tell the kids and been courteous enough to tell him when you did...and all the time he's already been slowly introducing information about her to them.
Fucker.

He's just emailed to tell me about the conversation he had with the DC after school.

I am so fucking angry I could spit

He spoke to them. Ds said he was angry and sad. He asked if it was because daddy having this friend meant mummy and daddy wouldn't get back together and he said yes.

Yada yada yada.

Then.... and I quote....
I asked them how they felt about it. I got a bit upset telling them and Ds reacted to that by cuddling me and crying too. He said he was sad and a bit angry.

I am literally shaking with rage. That fucking bastard!!!!!
My poor poor boy. On his fucking birthday!!!!!! I swear I'm going to kill him with my bare fucking hands!!!!!!

I don't know what to say but I just wanted you to know I've read your update. Xxx

De lurking. He is even more selfish than I could have imagined. And have years and years on you , and seen plenty! Not to mention my own selfish x.

Utter utter bastard. How glad I am for you that you are shot of him although it is so difficult. He will be the sort of Dad that his older/adult DC laugh about, as in " I love my Dad but he's an arsehole" Stay strong!

Christ

What a cunt. How can anyone be so lacking in self awareness!

I'm sorry I disappeared for a while. I had to phone a friend so I could shout and swear and pace the floor or I might've found some random person to sit in my living room while the DC were asleep to go round there and crush his windpipe with my bare hands.

I did rant it out in a reply but I obviously couldn't send it.

You know, I missed your email at 4pm but it's irrelevant now.
I don't honestly know what to say to you.
YOU got upset? YOU cried? YOU needed your SEVEN YEAR OLD SON to comfort you? On HIS fucking birthday? Again? Just like a fortnight ago? Just like when you cried like a baby when telling them you were leaving? You manipulative cunt.
You call yourself a father?
You fucking useless piece of shit. You should be ashamed of yourself.
If you cannot learn how to talk to your children like an adult; like a parent; then I strongly suggest you leave the parenting to someone who can. You are a disgrace.
You're right, you didn't ask me to lie. You told me to. And I can't believe I did it for so long.
I am seriously considering my options. I do not believe you are able to parent our children in any meaningful way.

De lurking - agreed, what an utter bastard.

Onit you are an absolute legend and your children are blessed to have you.

He is a shit who will manipulate his own young son on his birthday, it doesn't get much lower than that.
What goes around comes around (god I hope so)

Im calmer now but I wish now, more than ever, I'd spent my kitchen money on a fucking kneecapping.

I've just had a flash forward.

My DC are going to be posting in the stately homes threads when they're older
I'm not sure it's benign enough behaviour to be as nice as 'I love my dad but he's an arsehole' though MsPav

Understandable but in the long run you'll get more pleasure from the kitchen