Anyone up? DH is leaving me follow up thread. Onit's on it!!

[onitlikeacarbonnet]

Link to my last thread.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2658829-Anyone-up-DH-is-leaving-me?msgid=62446916

Well there you are.knobhead.
I've said it evicted and I'll say it again. What do these people expect to happen when they decided to fuck everyone over in order to have a bunk up with someone other than their wife? Why on earth do they think the wronged party will continue to give a toss about what they want as if nothing's happened? And why do they think that their behaviour, which is what is potentially

Said it before *

....damaging to the dc's the most of all is ok?!!
Bloody phone!

Ready to send my reply.
What do you think?

You can see them on Christmas Eve as you requested in your email, returning them home mid morning. And you can collect them as early as you wish after they wake on Boxing Day.
I can only presume that the hostility present in the rest of your email is because of this misunderstanding.

I don't need luck explaining anything to my kids. Unless you think crying like a baby when delivering bad news is the way to go.
And on that note you should be aware that, after a conversation yesterday, they now know about your "friend"

So is that mid morning on Christmas Day be or Christmas Day

Fab email by the way

Sorry Christmas Eve or Christmas Day

I read that as returning them mid morning Christmas Day too. Is that what you meant?

No!
I will edit that. Thank you x

Start with,
as previously informed you can collect them on Christmas Eve as you requested in your email, returning them home by X time on Xmas eve. And you can collect them as early as you wish after they wake on Boxing Day.
I can only presume that the hostility present in the rest of your email is because you have misread my previous message.

I don't need luck explaining anything to my kids. Unless you think crying like a baby when delivering bad news is the way to go ?
And on that note you should be aware that, after a conversation yesterday, they now know about your "friend"

Phew 😊

I'll sleep on it and send tomorrow assuming no one else contradicts the advice so far.
Thanks everyone

I think I'd the last paragraph out. You don't want to give him anything to bite at.Maybe just stick to the facts-'I've informed the DC about your new relationship as they were asking questions'
Don't get me wrong he deserves to be well told but he is unlikely to take it on board and will just use it against you, twunt that he is.
Christmas part is just right

That's the bit I was going to sleep on nigel
I agree it's just inflammatory but it pisses me off that I can't ever just let rip at the fucking LCB
I know I will get satisfaction in the months and years to come but it doesn't help me now when I want to quite literally kick 7 shades of shite out of the cunt

I know.believe me. I said ALOT of harsh (though justified) things to mine in the early days that I now wish I hadn't as it has just given him cause to feel smug. And that makes me all the more angry -and so it goes round. None of what I said made him feel guilty or even stop to think twice about what he was doing as he'd already decided on his path and justified it in his own head. So there was just no point.
You, I, and everyone else that knows what yours has done think that he is anything other than a cunt, make no mistake. But It will infuriate him all the more if you are impeccable in your dealings with him. That will drive him up the wall as he has been so much less than that towards you.

And on that note you should be aware that, after a conversation yesterday, they now know about your "friend"

^^^ That's excellent.

Just to say Onit, the edit by Mix 56 in first paragraph is good as it clarifies the times. Must admit I was a bit confused by your draft as I thought he was having them both xmas eve and day. Go with Mix 56.

As to last para, I would say something along the lines of what Nigel said. Kids have been upset and asking a lot of questions. You didn't feel like it's fair to keep on lying to them as they are not stupid. Turn it around on him and tell him he should stop lying to his kids and tell them why he left your family.

Make sure u tell him this by email so he gets mad and sends u a nasty reply in the heat of the moment. Evidence evidence against him is what u need to start collecting against this bastard. He's broken your family but you are a strong woman. Don't cover for him. Show his true face to the world.

Onit, it's a great mail but I did have my hesitations re the last paragraph but I figured you were due a wee bit of an 'up yours mate.'

Re my husbands friend. They've been friends for close to 60 years. He knows my husband and has my back covered. He knows if he didn't agree to do this I'd have to go to someone else and hand over my file to their housekeeper, driver, or wife, child etc. Anyone in the house really. But this way I'm still afforded the respect hecwantsxme to have. We have a cuppa and a chat and the last time I went he got out some old photos from 40 years ago and we had a lovely walk down memory lane to a time when money hadn't flown through the door and love hadn't flown out the window. My husband is nothing but a cliche. And me? Well I'm the woman who helped make a fortune. I'm not the one who set out to marry one. 😉

And why don't my children handle it for me? Well sadly there really isn't anything going on in that respect and I know if my children were given this to do for me their father would use it to blackmail them into accepting his new life. i would never ever put them in that position.

My husband is a sociopath. I know him better than he'll ever know himself. But it took breaking free to be able to see him for what he is.

But It will infuriate him all the more if you are impeccable in your dealings with him

I have lots of clear plastic files. You won't have to buy any. I'll send you some. 😂😂😂

😂😂. Oh god I'm laughing.

Been there, done that, got the plastic files. 😂

I think I'll get it printed on a t-shirt 😂

Final draft?

As previously informed, you can see the kids on Christmas Eve, having them overnight on the 23rd and returning them home mid morning on Christmas Eve. And you can collect them as early as you wish after they wake on Boxing Day.

Following some questions yesterday, the kids are now aware you have a "friend".

How old r your kids Odearme?
I hope you got a decent settlement from him. Can't believe he treats u this way. Shocking the level some people stoop to x

I'm in awe of you ohdear

You are under no obligation to reply to him at the soonest. So let it rest for now. It will also help you to batter away at the key board, compose mails the length of a roll of wall paper - then go back to it hours or even a few days later and whittle it all down to a very basic reply

Just refreshed the page and came up at a random page a month ago where you said this

Ummi, I have 5. Eldest is 38. Youngest is 25.

Re a settlement? We're not divorced and have no plans to divorce. But we have absolutely no contact at all apart from the plastic files.

My husband won't divorce me because according to him I've done nothing wrong. But the reality is that he'd never live it down where we live. People know me. People now know him.

Why don't I divorce him? I can't be bothered. I'm almost 60. I have a situation with my youngest child that is all encompassing. I concentrate on him, my children, and my many grandchildren. I'm done with upset and fear and negativity. I'm making my memories for when I'm older. I've no time for legalities and court battles. It's fun all the way from now on in. My life hasn't changed financially since we seperated. And I have no interest at all in meeting anyone else. I'm happy on my own

I remember that Onit 😊

Worn at 5am by a very excited ds
Took pleasure in phoning LCB at 5.45am. Strangely he didn't answer and called back at 6.30.
Ds has had a lovely relaxed morning playing with his gifts and we've had cake for breakfast.
I'll send the email after dropping the DC at school.