Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How is he doing it ?

196 replies

Purplespy · 26/06/2016 19:27

My DP likes to know my every move. At first it was in a nice way but now it's ridiculous . We have been together three years and his ex cheated on him so I can understand some of his insecurities .
However ... He has been working away for two days and I always find this is when he is at his worst . He knew my general whereabouts for the couple of days he was away and when he was driving home he was quite cheerful when I spoke to him . I went to work of the evening and he text saying we need to talk . He asked me where I was on the morning if the first day he was away . I had told him I had been at home when i spoke to him on the day but I'd gone to the village shop and dropped a bag of stuff off at the charity shop . I try to keep it simple as to disarm him from the hundreds of questions he asks involved in a simple trip .
So ... He knew I had not been where I said I was but not until he got home
How ??? I've got no phone trackers on my phone etc so I'm bewildered . I think there are cameras in our house . He called me a liar and has not spoke to me for two days . I'm sure it is not the neighbours and he doesn't have any friends round here well enough to be watching me . He won't tell me how he knows but it's happened before that if one thing doesn't add up he's a nightmare .
Any thoughts ?

OP posts:
poppym12 · 28/06/2016 09:46

Just read this and I really feel for you. What a controlling and revolting creep he is. I'm very glad you're out now and hope everything gets better for you Flowers

liquidrevolution · 28/06/2016 09:48

Well done. Stay strong. It will feel weird at first but just keep going and dont look back. He has some serious issues and they were never going to be fixed quickly.

I would try and replace all digital tech ASAP if you can or have you got a tech genius friend who could take a look? Even though it is over he may still try and track you to find evidence to justify everything he has said.

Purplespy · 28/06/2016 09:54

I stopped using anything but my phone a long time ago . I usually use work computers for things I need to do x

OP posts:
Nivea101 · 28/06/2016 10:00

Thank goodness you are OK Flowers

Claraoswald36 · 28/06/2016 10:12

Hi op. Just rtft god what frightening behaviour. How are you today?

Also what you said earlier about finding a love you hadn't before - you will again this bloke was nuts and it's no reflection on you x

Purplespy · 28/06/2016 10:12

I'm massively twitched and nervous . Keep thinking about his face changing into a different person all pale and almost like I didn't recognise him , it was weird . I can't believe it is the same man I fell completely head over heels for , so caring and loving . All gone . The scary thing is I would never have had a clue it would have come to this and would put me off ever getting involved again xx thanks everyone

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 28/06/2016 10:12

I'm glad you are out and safe.
What a creep.
Keep yourself busy and look after yourself.

Pesticles · 28/06/2016 10:16

Well done on getting out!

BitOutOfPractice · 28/06/2016 10:17

Well done OP. Stay safe.

That face you saw - that's the real him. Remember it!

Claraoswald36 · 28/06/2016 10:29

Have you heard from him?

user1465823522 · 28/06/2016 10:43

your partner is very controlling - he might not even realise he is. have you addressed this with him? talk to him and if nothing changes then i second the others who say get out.

ChuffMuffin · 28/06/2016 11:15

Well done you for being brave and getting out! Absolutely 110% the right thing to do for you and your child. No matter what he says or does, don't forget that!

I can't believe it is the same man I fell completely head over heels for , so caring and loving . All gone

That man never existed. He pretended to be that way to lure you in, then when he had you the facade slipped away and then the real him came out. Anybody who was truly caring and loving would not have treated you like this man has. Flowers

Purplespy · 28/06/2016 13:10

I know . It's so hard to face though . Feel completely tricked . Feel so sad today Sad

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 28/06/2016 14:00

You were tricked!
It's not your fault though.
These men are expert manipulators.
Be kind to yourself!

Morasssassafras · 28/06/2016 14:11

Op glad you are out and safe.

Go ahead and grieve for the man you thought he was and the relationship you thought you had. Just know as a pp said that he is not that man and it was all an illusion to pull you in. I think you should think about reading 'why does he do that' by Lundy Bancroft and also doing the freedom programme which is run by women's aid, in person if you can. Once you've been in one abusive relationship it is very easy to get into another one and doing the programme will help you see the signs early enough. [Flowers]

Purplespy · 28/06/2016 14:43

I've downloaded the book thanks Brew

OP posts:
BoatyMcBoat · 28/06/2016 16:13

Hooray! Well done.

I second the suggestion of the Freedom Programme. If you can get to it, do. It will help you soooo much.

Flowers You will be on an emotional rollercoaster for a while; be prepared for it. Give yourself a little treat every day, even if it's just a coffee in your favourite coffee shop, or a really nice bath.

You deserve to be happy. Tell yourself that too.

Cherry321 · 28/06/2016 20:47

Well done OP. Read the thread on Sunday and pleased to come back and find out that you're safe and well. Wishing you all the best for a new start.

Purplespy · 29/06/2016 07:50

Thanks for your thoughtful messages . Will look at the freedom programme . X

OP posts:
janaus · 29/06/2016 08:33

I've been worrying that he might try stalking you, by whatever means he wAs using to keep track of you.
Wishing you all the best, and be careful.

Scarydinosaurs · 29/06/2016 08:44

Good luck, I hope you have some peace now.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread