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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How is he doing it ?

196 replies

Purplespy · 26/06/2016 19:27

My DP likes to know my every move. At first it was in a nice way but now it's ridiculous . We have been together three years and his ex cheated on him so I can understand some of his insecurities .
However ... He has been working away for two days and I always find this is when he is at his worst . He knew my general whereabouts for the couple of days he was away and when he was driving home he was quite cheerful when I spoke to him . I went to work of the evening and he text saying we need to talk . He asked me where I was on the morning if the first day he was away . I had told him I had been at home when i spoke to him on the day but I'd gone to the village shop and dropped a bag of stuff off at the charity shop . I try to keep it simple as to disarm him from the hundreds of questions he asks involved in a simple trip .
So ... He knew I had not been where I said I was but not until he got home
How ??? I've got no phone trackers on my phone etc so I'm bewildered . I think there are cameras in our house . He called me a liar and has not spoke to me for two days . I'm sure it is not the neighbours and he doesn't have any friends round here well enough to be watching me . He won't tell me how he knows but it's happened before that if one thing doesn't add up he's a nightmare .
Any thoughts ?

OP posts:
Gfplux · 26/06/2016 20:23

On an iPhone there is "find my phone" he may have set this up so he can check where your phone is. He would then know when you were not at home.
This and many tracking apps work with the built in GPS of the phone. Perhaps you should turn GPS off.

ImperialBlether · 26/06/2016 20:23

Flacidunicorn, that's a great point about turning off the power.

Purplespy · 26/06/2016 20:23

Yes imperial that's right he didn't seem to know until he got home . We don't have an house Alarm but there is a smoke alarm but I would have to get ladders to get up there . The door might be a possibility . Yes I have somewhere to stay

OP posts:
Purplespy · 26/06/2016 20:25

He wouldn't have my keys to car as I have no spares my mum has them . I've already turned off my find iPhone a few weeks back because I started to feel like a prisoner

OP posts:
JakeBallardswife · 26/06/2016 20:29

Leave now, popping out for tomorrow's lunch or something. Stay safe, this sounds really odd behaviour.

VimFuego101 · 26/06/2016 20:31

OP, bear in mind that if he's using a key logger he may well see this thread.

ImperialBlether · 26/06/2016 20:32

When is he next away?

Do you know anyone techy who could come and have a look around?

ImperialBlether · 26/06/2016 20:33

That's true re the keylogger. I think you need to get away from him anyway - it sounds like a really unhealthy relationship.

AcrossthePond55 · 26/06/2016 20:33

This from the Internet :

  1. You might not realise it but your iPhone has been recording exactly where you've been and how long you spent there. ... 2. To access Frequent Locations, open your iPhone's “Settings” menu, select “Privacy”, then “Location Services”, then scroll all the way down to “System Services”.

If he has managed to get your phone password (assuming you keep your iPhone locked) he could review your movements.

It could explain why he didn't question you until he was home. He had to check your phone.

Would he set someone to spy on you? Hire a PI?

No matter. Get out and solve the mysteries later!

Purplespy · 26/06/2016 20:36

I had left for work though when he got home . So would have no access to phone . My location services are turned off too could he still track it ? He's away tomorrow and I don't know anyone who is tech I have been looking at every opportunity but it's a minefield

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 26/06/2016 20:37

Yes but the OP says he doesn't have access to her phone.

Purplespy · 26/06/2016 20:37

It seems a bit extreme a PI when I've given him no reason in the past not to trust me

OP posts:
AprilSkies44 · 26/06/2016 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AcrossthePond55 · 26/06/2016 20:38

www.buzzfeed.com/jimwaterson/your-iphone-knows-exactly-where-youve-been-and-this-is-how-t

Check the above link.

ImperialBlether · 26/06/2016 20:38

Do you have a bit of money to throw at it? Whereabouts are you?

AprilSkies44 · 26/06/2016 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marmaladeday · 26/06/2016 20:41

Do you drive to work? Could he be tracking your mileage on your car ? If it is him checking something in the house it could be in or near a landline phone?

ImperialBlether · 26/06/2016 20:41

It's not going to be a PI - he/she would have reported her leaving the house and saying where she was as it happened. He didn't know until he returned to the house.

OP have a look at sites like this which shows the sort of things that are around. Simply anything can hold a camera - a clock on the wall, a smoke detector, an alarm, a socket, anything.

ImperialBlether · 26/06/2016 20:44

It won't be her milometer. He knew when she'd been away, not just that she had been.

fuckincuntbuggerinarse · 26/06/2016 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AcrossthePond55 · 26/06/2016 20:45

Sorry my posts are choppy. I'm on the app.

You don't need to have given him a 'real' reason. He obviously believes there's reason enough to continually check up on you. You don't check up on someone you don't think is doing 'wrong'.

What do you want the end result of your curiosity to be? To make him change? He won't. To justify your leaving him? He's given you plenty of reasons to leave already.

ImperialBlether · 26/06/2016 20:45

AcrossThePond55, my phone's not an iPhone but it does that, too. The other day I went out to the pub with a friend. A couple of days later I had a message on my phone (Google Maps) asking me to rate the pub.

ImperialBlether · 26/06/2016 20:46

How old is your child?

Purplespy · 26/06/2016 20:52

Thanks for the links my iPhone location is switched off I just checked everything so I'm not sure if that leaves me closed to any eyes . Also the link with the hidden spy cameras has took my breath away .

OP posts:
Purplespy · 26/06/2016 20:53

My child is 13 he's at his dad's for a few days

OP posts: