How is he doing it ?

[Purplespy]

My DP likes to know my every move. At first it was in a nice way but now it's ridiculous . We have been together three years and his ex cheated on him so I can understand some of his insecurities .
However ... He has been working away for two days and I always find this is when he is at his worst . He knew my general whereabouts for the couple of days he was away and when he was driving home he was quite cheerful when I spoke to him . I went to work of the evening and he text saying we need to talk . He asked me where I was on the morning if the first day he was away . I had told him I had been at home when i spoke to him on the day but I'd gone to the village shop and dropped a bag of stuff off at the charity shop . I try to keep it simple as to disarm him from the hundreds of questions he asks involved in a simple trip .
So ... He knew I had not been where I said I was but not until he got home
How ??? I've got no phone trackers on my phone etc so I'm bewildered . I think there are cameras in our house . He called me a liar and has not spoke to me for two days . I'm sure it is not the neighbours and he doesn't have any friends round here well enough to be watching me . He won't tell me how he knows but it's happened before that if one thing doesn't add up he's a nightmare .
Any thoughts ?

My concern is that he might have your passwords ( never underestimate these people) and can read your posts on here.

It may sound over dramatic Op but I would be looking to leave right now.

I've been in your shoes and I know you say he isn't violent , but he will be . I thought the same and unfortunately have had the black eyes , bruises and broken ribs that proved me wrong .

This is fucking terrifying.

OP, good men don't do this. Men who actually love their partners don't do this. People whose exes cheated on them don't do this. People who have insecurities don't do this.

You're dealing with next-level control here. Leave carefully, but leave now.

Sorry this is probably really obvious- but do you have 'find my iPhone' turned on?

I'm guessing not if you don't have location services, but I'm sure that's one app that you can have working regardless?

OP this is really, really worrying.

Can't you get hold of his phone? Would you be able to check his apps or Internet history to see if he does have cameras?

I really think it's cameras.

I'd be so freaked out about this, the idea of someone watching me getting changed and showering etc is just so creepy.

Be safe.

Is he in the room where your clothes are?
Is your car blocked in?

I very much doubt he has tracking equipment. He sounds like a psycho. Run and never look back. I bet this was a whirlwind romance; he sounds bloody vile. Pack your bags and stay with a friend or relative. There is no other way forward. You cant reason with these kinds of people.
Don't ask for explanations; ensure he can't find you and let friends ,family and colleagues, police also that you feel endangered.

No I have all switched off . Car not blocked in . I can't get phone he has fingerprint access x

Rabbit .. Housing situation is that he owns the house we live together .

Can you get a friend / relative to come over while you pack a few bits? Don't waste time trying to work out how he's doing it , that can come later when you have made yourself safe .

Does your iPhone automatically back up to iCloud? Could he be accessing it somehow? Does it hold information on your phones location? Mine backs up to iCloud on our family computer, I'm sure my Dh could access it if he wanted to.

Purple do you want to go or do you imagine you can confront him and talk it out and he'll be a good boy from thereon in?

How can you be sure there are no trackers? He could have put one in the car or do you have 'findmyphone'? Either way this is not what you should be worrying about. You need to leave and you need to leave now. It's highly likely that thing will get worse and a decent probability that he will become violent.

Get. Out. Now.

I think you need to move out and ditch the phone.

For now- go online and change your Apple ID. You need to change the email address attached to your iTunes. Then do a factory reset on your phone.

But please leave to somewhere safe now.

I've changed all my passwords thanks . I'm going to take my car to be checked tomorrow . And no I don't want to confront him . As tonight has gone on I've decided I'm going with no words . I will hopefully round a few people up to help .

Op , say you manage to find out how he is doing this, then what ? You'll still be in the same position of living with an abusive , controlling man.

Make sure you have someone with you when you leave, it's the most dangerous time . Well done for deciding to go

Jesus Christ, the way some people behave. It's chilling.
Stay safe op. You need to get yourself out of this

Purple, get out now. It honestly doesn't matter how he's doing it, the fact that he'said doing it at all is just creepy. Leave ASAP. Don't worry about clothes, just get your passport, birth certs etc. You don't owe him any explanation. This won't get any better.

Power to you OP. I'm going to pray for you and I want you to believe that your good friends and family will support you. You have the strength to leave this horrible situation and find sanctuary for you and your DC.
A few weeks sleeping on a couch has got to be better than a lifetime of abuse.

Your post sent chills down my back.

Be careful OP, if he is tracking your physical whereabouts, you can be sure he is tracking your computer - history, emails, etc. It doesn't matter, for now, how he is doing this. I'm quite worried he will see this thread and know you are planning to leave. Is your child there with you too? Can you please ask someone to come over to you so you are not alone with him. He sounds very unstable and his temper could lash out any time.

Police and Social services can help you if you think you might be in danger.

People who have been cheated on are often hypersensitive. They loose faith and it ruins future relationships very often. They get triggers with certain situations and TBH they just never trust again.

The lie will have made him think you had something to hide ... because we all hear that those with nothing to hide, hide nothing.

The micromanaging of your whereabouts is not sustainable.

There are many ways to track people and as I advice betrayed spouses I won't post them here, but you can't carry on like this. Time to exit the relationship.

I couldn't live like that

My concern about your turning off the power, OP, is that it might enrage him. Please just leave. Without telling him and without going back. Ditch any devices that might be tracked.

Good luck op.

Thanks for all advice I'm taking it all on board and seriously . My decision has been made or reaffirmed since the start of my thread