How is he doing it ?

[Purplespy]

My DP likes to know my every move. At first it was in a nice way but now it's ridiculous . We have been together three years and his ex cheated on him so I can understand some of his insecurities .
However ... He has been working away for two days and I always find this is when he is at his worst . He knew my general whereabouts for the couple of days he was away and when he was driving home he was quite cheerful when I spoke to him . I went to work of the evening and he text saying we need to talk . He asked me where I was on the morning if the first day he was away . I had told him I had been at home when i spoke to him on the day but I'd gone to the village shop and dropped a bag of stuff off at the charity shop . I try to keep it simple as to disarm him from the hundreds of questions he asks involved in a simple trip .
So ... He knew I had not been where I said I was but not until he got home
How ??? I've got no phone trackers on my phone etc so I'm bewildered . I think there are cameras in our house . He called me a liar and has not spoke to me for two days . I'm sure it is not the neighbours and he doesn't have any friends round here well enough to be watching me . He won't tell me how he knows but it's happened before that if one thing doesn't add up he's a nightmare .
Any thoughts ?

How do you know he has cameras? Maybe someone saw you at the shop and told him?

I mean if you think he has cameras, whether he does or not is irrelevant, you are in a dysfunctional relationship hun

I hope it all goes well with you

How he's doing it doesn't really matter does it? The fact that he's doing it at all is what matters

Well it only matters in that if it's her phone - she will want to make sure its "clean" when she leaves.

www.welivesecurity.com/2015/01/29/how-to-spot-a-tracking-app/ might give some hints or spyzrus.net/how-to-tell-if-your-cell-phone-is-being-tracked-tapped-monitored-by-spy-software/

Can you leave today while he's out? He's told you to go so just do that and block any contact from him

As he wants to end it there isn't much point in finding out how he did it. Just leave.

Here you have an insecure man because he was cheated on and objectively one would think why be untruthful about a simple charity shop trip. There's no trust... so it's time to part company.

The nature of his betrayal has left him with long lasting effects. This may be how his Ex lied about little things to him.

It's very sad that betrayal leaves people to question every step taken out of the house and to question every story that doesn't add up.

It's not just men I see behaving like this either. Women who have been cheated on are also terribly suspicious. I always tell them - this is not your ex and you should trust until you have reason not to.

Just pack your stuff and leave him to it.

I doubt this has anything to do with an ex - he's the problem here, he may have convinced himself he was cheated on, but his ex was probably in exactly the same position as you - spied on and accused with no reason

Don't go back on your own. Take a friend. Get your things and leave.

My ex was scarily similar to this. Spying on me, accusing he of cheating p. Would constantly tell me to leave. When I tried to, he assaulted me, badly.

I still left, and I had him charged too.

There is a lifetime restraining order against him never to contact me.

Stay strong OP and get out with your child, it can't be a very good environment to bring him up in, and frankly your partner sounds like an arrogant, creepy, control freak and a twat to boot.

I hope you can get your things out and have somewhere safe to go to.

I know you've changed your password, but change your email on your Apple ID. If he has set anything up to track your phone, it may help stop it- something you need to think about if you're going and don't want him to find you.

If you can't work out how to do the Apple ID, PM me and I'll send you step by step instructions.

The fact is she didn't give a full disclosure of all of her daily movements because she already said that it causes MORE hassle in the long term once she does. It was easier to say she was at home rather than face 858 questions about where she had been. Regardless he punished her anyway.
The man who did this to me cheated on me repeatedly. I have never treated anyone else suspiciously like this, knowing I was making them unhappy just to ease my own insecurities. It's horribly unpleasant to end up in a situation where you do lie to try to protect yourself then get punished for lying. I can't believe people are getting on at OP for lying about going to a shop when he behaves like this towards her.

He's trying to break you down. If you stay, you will be forever in his debt for allowing him to 'forgive' you. His intense insecurity is ruling both your lives.

Be safe. I really don't think he will just vanish out of your life immediately so take care and tell Your friends that you are scared, because secrets about this kind of thing can make it worse.
Mine kept coming back and trying to make deals with me - I will take you back if you do X y z (some of which was degrading and applauding), then when I started to crack and miss him he would turn again into someone awful.
I will confess that after I finally got rid of him out of my house, he turned up with a suitcase and he talked his way back in my bed by appearing to acknowledge all of his issues, then after sex he called a taxi to go to the airport to see the woman he had cheated on me with on a work trip. And laughed in my face.

take care X

Have you considered that maybe his ex didn't cheat on him? That he has more fundamental issues? His response is above and beyond normal, even for someone who has experienced infidelity. Stay safe. Get out.

Just a thought ... Turn your phone and other devices, off. Only use if you really have to. Devices can't be tracked if they are offline.

She's an adult why does she have to account for her every little move
But I agree
Leave and don't look back he sounds unhinged

OP, please leave. Now. Do you have anyone to come with you?

I would also doubt his ex cheated... Those are his issues talking...

Thanks . Myuser I'm not sure he will be back I don't know why I think he wants me out as he's scared I will tell my family . His wife did have an affair , she's told me herself . He still tries to control her and his dc in my eyes .yes I have friends Coming over

I'm not surprised his ExW had a affair.
If you are being accused anyway.....??? As they say!

I'm glad you have people coming round to help.
Get out and get away.
Block, ignore and delete.

Are you packing op?

Good luck, Purplespy. Are the friends who are coming over helping you pack? Will you and ds be safe with your family?

Please look after yourself; any hint of trouble ring the police, 999 no hesitation.

So very creepy. Hope you're able to find some for of proof OP or at the very least GTHO! I hope there's a way for you to report this though because I'd be worried about any future people putting up with this.

Even if you do end up leaving him, PLEASE get all your devices wiped/checked (maybe it's not on the phone, maybe it's in the battery part or something), and get your car checked... PC too just for sanity's sake.

Good luck!

Jesus, you poor thing.

He is fucking dangerous and nasty. I have known men like this. They do not change, except to get worse.

Please leave and don't look back.

And get a new phone with a new number, no matter what it costs.

How are you purple?

Realistically we may not get an update from OP if she's followed the advice to wipe/turn off all her electrical devices. Hopefully she has left and is now safe with family or friends.

Morning . Yes I am out with family help . Just need to get all my other stuff eventually . Not looking forward to that . Had some nasty exchange of words really unnerving texts but all saved and blocked . Horrendous x