30 day no contact for the broken hearted - starts here

[Thewizardo]

I will be using this as my own personal no contact diary.

read here first

Please feel free to join in the thread if you are attempting to go no contact with someone. If you've just been dumped, left or had your heart broken.

I'm on day 1 today. So far today I've blocked his FB/what's app/Instagram etc. I text him to ask him to leave me alone as he's texting quite a bit. Only emergency texts only about DD.

Same here he did what he wanted when he wanted off visiting family in another country alone, lads holidays, gym more or less every night! Maybe I let him away with too much!!!

I was saying the same to my neighbour can you imagine the things people would be saying about me if this was the other way round!!!

I'm used to the single mum life he never did anything anyway I can't even remember one occasion where he did such much as bath my 2 but I am finding the evenings hard now just out of loneliness!! Guess we are all in the same boat!!

Another evening ticked off for me!! Hope you are all staying strong girls

The urge to contact this evening is so strong but im trying to ignore it by watching a film whilst being comforted by Ben and Jerrys cookie dough xx

Hope you all managed to get through the night without contact, off to bed myself now. Got another pick up tomorrow and I can't avoid that one as DC won't be here to hand off. Not looking forward at all

Hope you're all doing ok this morning! When I had a really terrible break up he firstly humiliated me on FB by deleting me and making himself 'single'- cue loads of calls from family and friends (I was on the way back to my parents from our marital home following the split, and this was his first priority )

Anyway, my point is; I deleted Facebook altogether. Then and there. Stopped me looking - at time- and other peoples 'prefect' lives.

I focused on me, the present, and my future.

I recommend a social media hiatus !!! Apart from MN, obv !

I've thought about it, might do it today.

Mine humiliated me by joining Tinder the next day

Oh mine moved someone else into my home 6 weeks after I left after joining online dating too!

I look at it this way, I took the time to deal with how I felt, my emotions, get to know myself again and what i want. Rushing into something else wouldn't have given me that.

Now, you could say it's not exactly still working out for me given I'm still single and the latest fiasco resulted in him being on a swingers site!!! But, I can identify a lot better the signs now and look after myself properly now!

This feeling will pass, thewizardo!

What is wrong with men? Are they literally spending the whole of a relationship wanting to shag other women?

I am with you all on the social media I am not using anything except mumsnet!!

I feel physically sick with the upset this morn! Am desperate to call him but determined not to!!!

So glad you're all here this morning!
Woke up realised, no goodnight messages, will have no good morning messages BUT I have set an alarm on my phone three times a day. One at 8am which tells me I'm lovely, another at 7 and 9pm. No need for messages from him to make me feel good, I've done my own.
I also listened to Matthew Hussey on Youtube this morning for inspiration whilst exercise cycling, bought a book about being great by somebody Lewis and I'm going to make myself look fab for work this morning.
Go me and go us on here.

I realised although I'm having awful waves of sadness and missing him, I won't ever have any really really awful waves of sadness when the next shit situation that he created came up and for that I'm really grateful and relieved that I got myself out of such a bad relationship.

That's a good way to look at it jennyme

Really really struggling already today feel like I've taken a massive step backwards! Really upset and feel really sick wishing he would call

How is everyone else coping??

Hi all, NC is definitely the way forward. Yes it is hard initially and yes you will have those low moments, hours, days whatever but you can get through them!
I split from an EA relationship in Jan and I know those early days are very painful and raw. Keeping busy helped, even something as random as tidying your sock drawer!
I made the mistake in the early days of responding to his messages, and really it was like poking a sore tooth, should have ignored and left well alone.
When it became clear I wasn't going to take him back he did the "stop contacting me!" thing, I think that's them trying to wrest control back.
6 months down the line I am in a much better headspace. Yes I do still think about him sometimes, yes I do still missing him sometimes, and yes I do still feel sad about what happened sometimes but it gets easier day by day.
If you do start to waver, remember the bad times, and the reasons why you split. Don't be sucked into the rose tinted glasses thing!
You can do it.
Onwards and upwards x

I know someone said earlier on the thread about not giving head space to the bad stuff they've done because they don't deserve even that time wasted on them, but I think you have to, especially when you feel yourself wavering, remember that shitty feeling in the pit of your stomach, how bad they made you feel, just for a few moments, then more forward that little bit further.

Totally agree with that!

I feel quite sad today, he's text and asked to swap days around next weekend. He's clearly got plans. Also I need to do handover tonight and I'm dreading it.

Wish he would just fuck off to Australia like he always wanted to.

Ive blocked mine on everything so im not tempted to have a look and i know its only day two of NC but i really feel quite positive already.
I really take my hats off to those of you that have to see them because of the children x

Pick up went ok. His mum came. Didn't even say one word about him leaving, didn't ask how I am or anything. Have text him and asked him to just drop DD in the door, hopefully I won't need to see him at all.

God I'm so fucking angry with this prick. He's walked out half way through the month, given me no money to pay the bills at all, now he's just paid a pittance of his wages in to my bank for maintenance and called it fucking 'bills'.

So when the benefits people ask to see my bank statement they'll be wondering why someone is paying bills money into my account

I do feel for you having to do contact because of children.
Having no contact is really helping me to see him for what he really was. All the time we had a conversation going in some form I was blinkered to what he really is, he's covered up some massive lies and each time talked me round them. Now with the space, I'm looking back and realising just how bad he was.

Fuck sakes had a blazing row about me going no contact. Told myself a million times not to engage with him and ended up shouting at each other. Fuck fuck fuck

The - I tried to do nc with my ex but with 2 kiddies it was hard! He moved on 3 days later with ow and I was 32 weeks pregnant with our daughter.
We ended up having big arguments screaming matches that bad I went to a lawyer to speak to him because he said I was too disgusting to look at!
I'm now 6 months on and still get upset over it

Ok, draw a line under that . Contact is only about pick up and drop off times, do not allow yourself to be dragged into his dramas. He is trying to cling on to his last bits of control over you.Stay focussed. You can do this. Hug for you x

Day 3 of no contact and feeling much more positive for not having such a horrible relationship in my life anymore. Much more room for good stuff. He was a very hard lesson for me.

Keep on keeping on, all x

Feeling horrendous. Broke and texted but it didn't make me feel any better.

Day 3 here too JennyMe and feeling so much happier as well. I think once you are not smothered by bullshit you start to see things for how they really were.
Hope your a bit better today Thewizardo x