30 day no contact for the broken hearted - starts here

[Thewizardo]

I will be using this as my own personal no contact diary.

read here first

Please feel free to join in the thread if you are attempting to go no contact with someone. If you've just been dumped, left or had your heart broken.

I'm on day 1 today. So far today I've blocked his FB/what's app/Instagram etc. I text him to ask him to leave me alone as he's texting quite a bit. Only emergency texts only about DD.

Thewizardo hurts doesn't it! I don't know how they can so easily switch off!! I'm finding today difficult already! Think I will take the kids to go visit my mum to kill a few hours!!

That's what I've been doing. Filling each day with little slots of activity

I think the thing is we're still catching up. It's raw and new. In most cases they mentally checked out of the relationship months ago. So they have a head start. They don't want the pain or recrimination. They don't miss us because this is what they wanted.

In most cases men would rather cut their right arm off than face up to the pain they've caused. They've finally done the hard bit they don't want to discuss it again and again. And they don't want to give you false hope by responding to your texts. You can write war and peace and be hurt all over again when you either get a one word response or worst still, no response at all.

He just text and said "how are you and kids silly question about you I know sorry"
I just replied and said kids are fine but that eldest was upset and asking questions! Didn't say anything about myself he doesn't need to know how I am!! Did I do the right thing?? Didn't want to completely ignore him coz I guess he has a right to ask after the kids??

No that's great. I wouldn't respond to any more questions today. And you're right, how you are is none of his business.

Ex texts and asks after DD. I usually respond and say 'she's fine' then maybe a little update. Very short though. And I leave a few hours between answers

Good I'm glad you agree I did the right thing!! I can't just ignore his texts about the kids but just need to keep it at that!!

ktka me and my ex started off like this and it definitely stopped me moving on so in the end I told him not to text me unless it was very important or to confirm contact arrangements etc. I said that if anything was wrong with the kids he'd be the first to know without a doubt. He said "oh right ok" and has stuck to it.

It's not fair otherwise. They're basically keeping you hanging. It's like asking every couple of days if the kids are alive!

That was the case for us though, cos I knew my ex didn't really care too much about them, given that he left because he didn't want a family anymore and then refused to pay maintenance.

The handover went ok! I took tips off here and made no eye contact and kept communication to a VERY minimum. He tried showing me a funny face the baby was pulling but I didn't really answer. He was supposed to take her for an hour but forgot her car seat for gods sake

BLiar, yes ex decided he didn't want a family anymore either . He's gone off to find his happy

Well done on no eye contact! I think that really helps

Oh my god wizard we have the same ex! Mine needed to find who he was again. Shame he couldn't have done that before begging me for a fourth child. Thank god she's a beautiful baby! No eye contact was much better, and I took great pleasure in handing him his speeding ticket that got delivered here :)

Thanks for the advice beautifulliar I think your right he knows the kids are fine and I would tell him if they weren't! When he has walked previously he sometimes just used the how are the kids text as a conversation starter and sometimes I feel like he sends it out of guilt or sense of duty!!

WTF, ex left after begging me for a fourth DC!

I'm in. But I do need to get my stuff back sooner rather than later. No kids and don't live together, both had a cry and it's for the best but it's absolutely horrible. He's not a bad guy, we just don't have a longterm future. It still hurts!

Welcome welcome

Is it all at his place? Could you send a brief text, I'd like to come and get my stuff. Could you please leave it in -safe place- and i'll collect Wed at x time?

Having a hard day today. The urge to check his social media is killing me. I know he was out last night and I want to look but I haven't. Have planned a movie night with the kids and early night instead.

I'm going to follow this too, split in April but every few days he pipes up and sets my recovery right back
Day 3 of no contact, hard but getting through it.

Yeah it's clothes and jewellery - I think I'll probably try to pop in for it early in the week then it's done.

TheWizardo I've been struggling today too but keeping myself entertained reading threads on here and watching the boxing now the kids are in bed!! Hope you are doing ok and log out of social media it will only make you feel worse

Have switched my phone off and am only MNing and shopping online

Its so hard because its so accessible! So many people have said it gets better once you realise you've done a week or whatever.

I think the positive of no contact and certainly not stalking FB etc is that you fall behind with whats going on in their lives. You don't have any information to upset you or to be annoyed at. And also you are never going to find anything thats makes you feel better. Its only ever going to make you feel worse. The same with texting.

I couldn't agree more thewizardo I do not use Facebook we have blocked each other on Instagram snapchat etc otherwise I would be constantly checking wondering what he is up to but it's unhealthy and is only going to make me feel worse!!
Tonight I'm going between tears and anger at the shitty situation he's left me in, how are you getting on??

I feel numb to be honest. Then it just hits me that he isn't here anymore. Also feel very angry at the situation I've been left in.

So glad I've made it to the end of day 2. He text earlier to ask if he could FaceTime DD but I said we were out. I sent a small vid of her taking her first steps today. Feel heartbroken he wasn't here to see it and fucking annoyed that this is who I chose to be her father.

He text to say he would be here at X time to pick her up. I just replied 'OK'. I'll leave her in the dining room when I hear him pull in.

Good for you for keeping strong!!
It's awful but just think it's him that's missing out you've just witnessed such a special moment and hopefully it will hurt him he wasn't there to see it!!
I'm sorry your going through this but I am glad I'm not alone!!
I'm proud I have managed to get through another evening NC but it isn't really helping me feel any better yet guess I've just got to take each day as it comes!!

Day 2 done! Happy dance!

Handover this morning, I plan to be in the shower in case he wants to talk.

Your doing so well
I'm feeling really weak this morn I just feel really sad and want to talk to him! Just keep telling myself I will only feel worse if I do!!

This is day 7 for me. It's hard but I'm. Hopefully that as time goes on I'll stop thinking about him. He was an arse but I still feel sad and disappointed that it didn't work out how I thought we both wanted it to

You're doing great pineappleeyes I can't imagine being at day 7 seems so far away!! Keep strong