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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

30 day no contact for the broken hearted - starts here

1000 replies

Thewizardo · 24/06/2016 14:14

I will be using this as my own personal no contact diary.

read here first

Please feel free to join in the thread if you are attempting to go no contact with someone. If you've just been dumped, left or had your heart broken.

I'm on day 1 today. So far today I've blocked his FB/what's app/Instagram etc. I text him to ask him to leave me alone as he's texting quite a bit. Only emergency texts only about DD.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Original poster
Thewizardo · 26/06/2016 08:24

Could you try writing down all the things you want to say to him?

You'll feel worse if you talk to him. Unless you think you'll get the response you want?

OP posts:
ktkaboom · 26/06/2016 08:28

I'm definitely going to write everything down, think I need to just get it out!!
Guess I am going to feel like this for a while but hopefully will get easier!!

pineappleeyes · 26/06/2016 09:51

Today is a bad day for. I wake up and know whether it's a good day or bad day. I torture myself going over things. I think about what I did wrong. I cast my mind back to a few months ago when he was completely in awe of me and now nothing. It hurts.

Original poster
Thewizardo · 26/06/2016 09:59

It hurts so much I know.

OP posts:
pineappleeyes · 26/06/2016 10:03

I need tips on how to stop thinking about him. It consumes every minute of the day and night. He clearly doesn't want me so why can't I switch off.... is it self esteem issues?

ktkaboom · 26/06/2016 10:08

I think we all just need to keep busy!! I feel sick with anxiety about it all now but at least I am going to be out and about later for a few hours!!
What's everyone's plans for the day?

Original poster
Thewizardo · 26/06/2016 10:11

have you read this page for tips?

OP posts:
ktkaboom · 26/06/2016 10:59

That's an interesting read!! Guess I'm just trying to rush the process I want to feel better now but it is just going to take time!!! Just hard when you love someone and want your family back but they clearly don't want the same thing!!!

ktkaboom · 26/06/2016 18:42

How is everyone getting on??
He face timed the kids earlier and when he asked them what we were doing today my eldest said going out for lunch with mummy's friend he seemed really awkward and ended the call and before my son could even hand me the phone back their was a text saying hope you enjoy your day out with your friend! I didn't even respond!!!

JennyMe · 26/06/2016 19:31

I'm day 11 since I've seen or spoken to him. I have intense waves of anxiety when I realise I won't see him again but before I go to sleep I've been writing a list of all his awful points (and it's quite a long list), I don't like being so negative but I've got to move on for my own good.

I've been able to keep busy with going out. I've also been visualising what a happy life in the future could look like.
Hope you're all okay.

duro1 · 26/06/2016 21:02

Well I had a bit of a fail and contacted him in night as DS (10months) was up ill in the night. He just ignored me. I was so angry about it but don't really care anymore right now. Text this morning re what the hell he playing at not responding when DS ill so my 24 hours will be at about 8am tomorrow and that will be my day 1 done :D

Original poster
TheWizardo · 26/06/2016 21:29

Oh it's so hard when you are stuck with screaming poorly baby and they are off doing god knows what. It's so tempting to text! But that's the exact reason I don't you either don't get a reply or you get a shitty answer. You end up feeling worse!

OP posts:
Original poster
Thewizardo · 26/06/2016 21:32

I had an ok day.

Ex has been texting all day because I stayed upstairs when he collected and dropped off.

Started texting saying I was being unfair, couldn't we just get on, then he got pissed off and accused me of having sex with someone else Hmm

I've ignored him except to send one text saying he knows I've gone no contact, I'm doing it for myself, unless it's about DD don't contact me.

He text back saying fine if you want to go no contact we will. Presume it was supposed to worry me but I hope he does leave me alone to be honest. I text and gave him a date he needs to have DD and that was the end of that. So I think I can claim my day 3!

Good luck everyone x

OP posts:
Littleallovertheshop · 26/06/2016 22:59

Day 3 done. It's horrible because I'm still hoping he's going to change his mind and call me.

Original poster
Thewizardo · 26/06/2016 23:17

Well at least if he does you'll know it's because he wanted too and not because you guilted him back into it.

Are you doing anything nice for yourself?

OP posts:
Littleallovertheshop · 26/06/2016 23:48

That's a good point. I'm going to have a day to myself and catch up on a load of TV. Then I'm catching up with friends all week which will be nice.
Glad youre holding up, it must be so difficult with a wee one too. Any plans?

gemmiebear · 27/06/2016 00:05

Hey ladies i need to tag along with this....its an excellent idea. As of right now i can't even imagine getting past a few days no contact so anything remotely near 30days would be such a good start to putting the nobber behind me.
I have disgraced myself this eve by having a couple of glasses of wine and txting so im starting afresh at day one tommorrow. Its hard-but onwards and upwards we can do this x

Original poster
Thewizardo · 27/06/2016 07:17

Hi gemmabear

Have you read the link? It was so helpful to me and I keep re-reading it when I feel weak. Alcohol is awful for weakening the barriers!

OP posts:
ktkaboom · 27/06/2016 07:52

I felt so much stronger yesterday like I had gained a bit of control then was upset again last night!!
Got a text just now saying "how's the boys and there was no need to be ignorant and ignore that text yesterday and if that's the way you are going to be then fine"
Did I do the right thing??

Original poster
Thewizardo · 27/06/2016 08:04

Of course you did, its not his business who's house you went to. Why should you make him feel better by explaining your actions to him? Is he explaining where he is every minute of the day?

OP posts:
Original poster
Thewizardo · 27/06/2016 08:05

'if thats the way you are going to be' is designed to make you feel guilty and explain yourself. You don't owe him anything anymore. You had a partnership and he broke it, now its just you. And your looking after you.

OP posts:
ktkaboom · 27/06/2016 08:06

Yeah your right I just feel guilty for going non contact and ignoring him when he is trying to seek help for his depression but I think it's probably the best thing to do right now Sad

ktkaboom · 27/06/2016 08:08

I replied and said boys are fine just having breakfast and ignored the rest got this reply

Right thank you I see what your being like now just the boys you talk n answer me about ok I understand

Tempted to reply and say this is what you wanted!
Help what shall I do?

VulcanWoman · 27/06/2016 08:25

Thank you for posting this thread OP.
Working through things myself too.
Best wishes to everyone.

VulcanWoman · 27/06/2016 08:28

No boom He's just twisting things again.

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