We're Stayin' Alive, it's DATING THREAD 105

[tanyadm]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Has anyone found themselves in the situation where they've had quite sexy, flirty chat online then gone to meet them and thought you just don't fancy them in real life?

What - sorry to read that news, plane sounds nice and supportive
Neat - I say go on a date and stop talking to get a better feel.
Carrot - enjoy tonight.

I'm having chocolate and wine tonight alone! The guy I went on a date with earlier this week messaged me this morning but then said "enjoy your weekend" when I told him what I was doing. I turn off when men don't keep the momentum up, I don't understand why keep messaging and not asking to see the person, not looking for any more friends!

The big red car..no because I'm
Too scared to ask to meet yet!

Burger enjoy your wine & choc! I guess they are no different to us..maybe just didn't click..but I agree I've got enough friends!

Haha! It is scary isn't it! I just wonder how you deal with that if you clap eyes on them and think no! I'm trying to keep the chat a bit less sexy for a bit...

He wants to chat on the phone. I'm scared. What do people think about that?

Bigredcar I was seeing someone who I knew in RL but we always text..when he called me one day I almost died!

IMO wanting to talk is a good sign .I enjoy txting but it feels more personal when they make the effort too talk. If I man won't talk even for a quick hello I know he's not that interested.

Thanks I wasn't sure whether giving your mobile number out was a no no or not? We are meeting Tuesday anyway and he looks really legit.

Ha ha neat the phone going catches me off guard anyway! I prefer to be the one who phones so I can prepare!

Actually Redcar I think I
Prefer to be caught on the hop as gives me less time to stress!

Ah getting a bit excited now..I said I'd think about it and he grasped my hesitation and sent me a link to his website and blog...he sounds lovely in it! And I know he is who he says he is now

Redcar that's great! Excited for you!

Thebigredcar how exciting. He sounds great.

I hate being called too as I like to prepare what I'm going to say (as much as you can do in those circumstances). I agree that a phone call means business.

Neatfreak laughing at "I nearly died" in relation to a man calling you. That would be my reaction.

Carrot Have fun and report back from the loo!

Singleandfabulous, I just didn't expect a call..it took all the nerves off though! I'm not good at meeting people..phone or text ideal..maybe this is my way forward!
25 nothing all day..good that's that decided. 33 must know I'm shallow as v quiet BUT does have 4 kids so maybe unlike me he's actually 'busy?!'

Not got time to read posts...but quick loo update ...

I'm inexplicably drunk and he doesn't seem that drunk... Why do men always drink beer and I always drink wine trying to keep it cool and not give it away!!!

Just got home from date with MrQuirky, had a really good time, and we are meeting again :-)
Had a kiss outside, I thought he might of offered to walk me to my car, but no... I just don't think he's a very romantic sort. But there is something about him I like very much!
carrot same here...he was on the beer, me wine...I'm hopeless with wine two glasses amd I'm squiffy. next time I'm having vodkas, can cope much better on them.
what I am so very sorry to hear about your mum. I am glad she is at peace. Planeman was lovely, I'm glad he turned out to be a good'un.

Carrottmuncher Arf! at trying not to give it away! Whats he like? do you fancy him?

Well i invited Audi man out for a drink but he said he had to get up eatly tomorrow so no I'm obviously irresistable and he's just playing hard to get

Omg, he's just texted saying he really enjoyed our date, would love to see me again soon and how about Sunday?
Eek!
Oh yeah, go me. 48, size 18 and still got it, lol :-)

Ha! Fantastic! Go you!

singleandfab thanks! Shame Audi man said no, I wanted you to have another go, ha!
I was being very grown up and calm about it until I got that text, now I've gone all silly and girly because he wants to see me so soon. Wasn't expecting that, as he seemed quite shy at times and was difficult to tell what he thought of me until he suggested meeting again.
He has suggested lunch and a 'lazy afternoon'...I'm now wondering if lazy afternoon is a euphemism for bed?
Dating is confusing!

Ha ha - lazy afternoon is like 'Netflix & chill' so yes, def. bed!

Audidriver has been put on a 'must improve or youre out' plan by his boss so he's worried and depressed.'

Singleandfab you should also put him on that plan!!

Witches, looks like you're in for some fun times

Mr keen is still keen. We've had two more dates since, and have already planned our next. I think aunt flo is on her way to visit me so jumping his bones is not on the cards. Grrrr stupid womanly functions

Haha carrot..being drunk is the only way I think I'll go on these dates!!
Singleandfab he will come round..works obviously on his mind
Witches glad you had a good time..lol at lazy..but Sunday's are lazy days so?!..let us know!

Update on mine..
25yr old out..no messaging so gone!
My 33yr old slowly came back to me..possibly he realised I wasn't sure re his pic and I'm still undecided..due up the kids he doesn't message back often..we got onto a convo re his house he's doing up and I got invited to see it..but this slowly turned into an odd convo about him having a bath ..me trying to check the flirt side asking if room for 2..him saying he'll come to mine as house in better state..date semi arranged for tomorrow..but he's helping his mate in the morning..it may get cancelled (sure he has his kids anyway) and can't do eve as goes bed early for work..something about him but..he has text me morning though already so...
Another man I got chatting to on match but the sites dire..despite my lack of replys (as couldn't) he sent me his number so we wats app'd..he's very nice & v v funny! Stayed up till 1 chatting to him but he's not overly close to me..see if he messages today
Another one who is on match but limited chat as it's rubbish at sending messages has asked me for a drink..watch this space!

Help! I'm throwing myself head first into this thread! Ok I've been on pof since Christmas. Not had much luck... I mostly stopped chatting to people as I was bored of trying to drag conversation out of people or they just 100% weren't my type. My last 2 year relationship was a killer and I have built up a ref flag spotting system which could be a super skill for a job with Mi5... Anyhoo... About 4-6 weeks ago I was idly looking when I got a message from a guy who by his bio etc looked pretty on point on paper. I was totally at the point where I was giving up on it as have LOADS going on at the moment with stuff (big long weekend away, weddings, work stuff etc etc) I don't feel I have time so was going to put it all on the back burner until end of summer.
Honestly expected it to peter out quickly but I was 'what the he'll' bored at the time so we've been chatting. Because of spate of unusual occurrences I've not been able to meet this guy quickly (which is absolutely what I would normally do). But the chat has continued even though I and he regularly commented it might not be the best idea as building it all up. (Agghh I'm waffling I know .. Trying to get the facts out quickly)

We have talked about all manner of things without getting 'too' personal and I can honestly say he hasn't displayed a single red flag! Nothing has strayed into inappropriate, I haven't once felt he has mirror me in an attempt to get me to like him, I haven't had to drag conversation out of him. We appear to have exactly the same temperament, sense of humour, thoughts on subjects and a keen interest in similar things.
This is way to good to be true! I know this and there's a real danger we will take one look at each other in real life and think ... Nah!

So it's date day today... Meeting for lunch. Has anyone accidentally fell into the long chatting period before meeting up?? I'm genuinely nervous it's going to be 'weird' having talked too much beforehand. Any tips on how to do this? keep the conversation going??

I'm personally not building this up, I'm very grounded. His last text last night did say he was nervous and can't help but get his hopes up now. This was the first time is suddenly got 'personal' from a dating POV and now it's like the pressure is on 😄

This would be so much easier if we'd only spoken a few times!

Funko..hi! Yes I get you re the chat..I fear I've talked so much with one of mine that I won't know what say when..If we meet! Good luck re your date..let us know.
Oh btw what are your red flags?! So we can check ours out!!