We're Stayin' Alive, it's DATING THREAD 105

[tanyadm]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

My list is huge I won't even remember them all! I just know when I spot them
Sexual comments
Making assumptions about me
Mental health issues (I've been there and got the t-shirt)
Inconsistent behaviour
Slagging off exes
Boasting of sexual prowess
Changing their tune (mirroring the kind of things I say rather than their own views or opinions)
Jealous behaviour, childish comments, asserting their views of how women/girlfriends should behave
Requesting pictures
Talking way too much about themselves and showing no interest in you or asking you questions
Disney dad type posting
God there's loads... Am amazed I talk to anyone at all!

Hi to everyone!
So many dates for everyone !
witches that sounds awesome . Not sure about lazy Sunday - could mean anything ??
funko I like meeting quite quickly rather than the Penpal zone thing. It's very depressing chatting for ages, building it all up, then meeting and realising that they may be lovely, but there's just no spark .

I determinedly ignored everyone's advice about IndieBoy . Texted him saying 'OI I thought we were going to be friends, regardless of what happened '. He replied saying of course, and long story short , we went for lunch yesterday as friends and it was really nice actually. No romance, and we didn't really talk about it, but it was just nice spending time with a bloke chatting tbh . I'm a bit confused this morning though - he's doing some insane cycling thing, and he's texting me every time he has a break, telling me how it's going.

No other irons in the fire really. Went out last night though, and it appears that the kind of blokes I like just aren't OLDating ! Loads of sexy bearded blokes out!!

Lol funko good points!!ive taken most of those on board but will add the rest to the list!

I went on a date yesterday too, and there was nothing wrong with him at all. he was tall, handsome, educated, able to talk. But I picked up on a reservation to proceed (with me) on the grounds that I have children. So we just kind of shut down the flirtation and talked about internet dating.

Mistake? perhaps.

I will try and put on a more flirtatious hat tonight. I'll avoid talking about brexit tonight too.

Feeling a little bit nervous about updating you all on my date last night after I opened the wrong app when we were trying to order a taxi and he was sat next to me looking at my phone, and there was the dating thread in all its glory

I snapped it shut quickly as possible but I'm scared he might have really quick eyes, and a good memory, and be that bothered to go searching for it (basically it is probably very unlikely but the possibility is there and makes me nervous!!)

Lol carrot shouldn't laugh but
I'll make sure I shut all pages down if I should ever get on a date! Are you seeing him again? Sure he didn't click!

My man with kids is replying..slowly..hmm.

Man who I was talking to last night..hilarious..but nothing..

Man whose invited me for a Drink..been online and off again without replying to me..hmm..

Um ok. He was..... Nice? Not exactly feeling either yes or no to be honest 🤔
Very quietly spoken. My last bf was very loud and obnoxious lol...
Could be a good thing I dunno.

If he says he's not interested later I don't think I'll be that fussed but to be honest I don't think he will. I'd have liked to have have felt something more positive or negative either way.... Anyone had this?

Should I be honest in the post Mortam conversation and ask for a date 2 and see how that goes?

Carrot that is exactly the sort of thing I'd do! I'm sure he couldn't of read that quickly though.

I'd say base it on how you'd feel if he said or did..nothing?! If it was me I'd be a little yes or no then either way?!

It's odd isnt it, these men who prefer an early night to a date in order to get up for work the next day. Youd think theyd want to live a little!

oh yeh, dr creepy. he had such important work to do the next day. ''big smarts''. I said ah gwan outta that there are brain surgeons having a small glass of wine you know.

about to leave now! for my 2nd date in two days. if only this weekend could be as efficient.

Good luck warrier!
I'm actually getting all nervous about mine already..I've only ever had 1 date which was with an ex like 18 years ago?? What's the thing to do when you meet? I'm
Hopeless at these things? He asked me re a pub in his town (we're not a million miles away) and it's a bit noisy/bar like..I've suggested one in between and he's said yes..it's quiet and I know it! I'm funny like that and don't like walking into places I don't know...Aaah what do you do..hug? polite kiss on the cheek? ..smile and try not to laugh?!!!

The guy I'm chatting too is keen...long chat on the phone and told him about my ds's special needs and he was totally unfazed, and that I'm basically never free in the evening at the moment and he's quite ok with that. I just hope I really fancy him when I meet him cos it's very promising so far.

Oh life, I'll just be brave anyway and hope he's not that good a stalker (I only think these things because I'm such a pro) ..

Well...We both deleted our tinders! I did it when I was drunk, because I had tinder in a group and he was looking at my phone and saw it, and flicked back to it!. So I used my Dutch courage and cracked a joke about how we met on tinder and said 'soooo do you still use it?' He said no and that he hadn't really used it since after our 2nd date!! I said I didn't use it but still had it so he said 'yeah same' so I said 'Might just delete it then' And did... How embarrassing! He didn't delete his straight away which was awkward but then a while later when he was on his phone he said 'there you go, mines gone too!' And deleted it, so yeah!

Also, his skin condition is nothing... He says it's just something he feels self conscious about and it still works!!

He also came back to mine (even though I told him my parents might still be awake) and we had a really nice time just sitting on the sofa

He hasn't been as talkative today but he did mention 'going on date 7' in conversation this morning sooooooo I'm hoping he's just busy and that drunk me hasn't ruined everything...

Funko - post mortem! That made me laugh... I say ask if you want to, what have you got to lose?

Good luck tonight warrior!!

Neatfreak is yours tonight?? Aww just relax and you will be fine!! Just chat away and do what comes natural..

neatfreak I'm the same, don't like walking into pubs/clubs/bars alone if I don't know them. it's good you chose somwhere you know and is quieter, I did that with Quirky for our date last night, and it took a lot of the stress out of it for me.
How to greet- Well, I think say 'hi' and smile, and a quick kiss on the cheek is fine, not too formal, not too overly friendly. It's weird but when you see them and they see you, you can sort of tell by their body language and face what to do, as well as by your own thoughts on them at that moment.

Carrot that's great! and OMG, all that fuss about just a skin condition, and everything is actually in working order after all! yay! I understand hed be self-conscious, but he ended up causing you to suspect all sorts...impotence, herpes, hahahahah....so funny! (It's not i know, but honestly, I'm laughing at all our speculation now)

Update re Quirky: invitation to go 'out for lunch and a lazy afternoon' has turned into 'how about I come to yours with some food and a bottle of wine? I'll bring some music, something romantic'
He rang me up, which I wasnt expecting as he'd been texting off and on, so that completely put me on the spot. 'Relaxing afternoon' i definitely means bedroom athletics, then.

I said ok (too soft to say let me think about it) but TBH I thought it was a bit presumptuous. Not because of probable bedroom athletics (I'm well up for that, to be honest!) but I was looking forward to going out, and why invite himself to MY house...that's my job, not his. What's wrong with inviting me to his place, if he wants to cook and put his music on?

Hmm....not sure whether to text and suggest we go to his instead? See what he says?...I feel a bit deflated now.

Bigredcar phone chat sounds very promising. Any developments on when/if you're going to meet? Apologies if you've already posted that, this thread moves so fast I can't keep up!

singleandfab I know, it's a bit deflating to think they'd rather sleep than be having a fab sexy time with you, isn't it? How old is he, perhaps he's one of these Young Old Fogeys, hehe

Post mortom... He was nervous as hell which according to him isn't like him at all. We've definitely decided the long messaging build up didn't help. It was purely circumstances than deliberate. I can laugh though 😂
I'll give it another go when I get back from hen weekend. Should give me an idea whether I'm feeling it or not! God dating is hard!

TheWitchesoflZalith
He's only mid thirties but is having a tough time at work (performance improvement/boss hates him) and home (split from mother of his son & back with his mum). Poor thing. Says he normally goes to bed at 9.30 every night When he was last at mine ge was yawning his head off by 9.45! He's said he's dying to see me again on a night where he doesnt have to get up the next day. Personally, I'd be happy to go straight into work with no sleep if it meant a night of shagging him.

Good luck to everyone with dates tonight!

Must get myself on Tinder to take the edge off Audidriver.

TheWitches forgot to say, yes, tell him you'd prefer to go out. He owes you dinner or drinks at least before attempting to jump you on the sofa. Trouble with accepting sofa dates is theres no going back to proper 'out' dates afterwards and i think its a bit chesp of him

Oh thewitches that is a bit presumptuous isn't it! We are meeting on Tuesday. I'm nervous as hell we had another good chat tonight but both times the conversation has come round to sex and the last one ended quite steamy...not sure if he's only after one thing or not. He seemed to like talking to me too. Tonight I had to say look I'm really tired I need to go to bed early. I don't think it's going to be love but I do think it could be fun. I'm just worried if we've been flirting a lot and then I meet him and don't fancy him how will I react!

I know witches it is a bit funny isn't it! I said I didn't know why he was so bothered about it and it really isn't a big deal and he said 'well its just something ive dealt with for a while ok?' So I shut up  ... In terms of your guy, tell him you want to go out if that's what you want! It does seem a bit presumptuous.

Urgh he hasn't text me back from my last message in our conversation this afternoon still!! He said he was going out with friends tonight so I know he's probably busy but I'm starting to get all paranoid the fact he referred to us going on date number 7 this morning has got to be a good sign hasn't it and I should stop being a nutter??

carrot yes, you're being a nutter, haha...try to chill, you know he wants date seven, he's done the Big reveal about his problem, I very much doubt he'd have done that if his interest was flagging. Thats a very good sign. He's just out and not looking at his phone/can't hear it/leaves it at home...it's fine, you're fine :-)