why initiate a text conversation then not reply for hours

[funnychops]

Someone please explain why they do this??
Lovely guy making all the right moves, few dates in, refers to me as his girlfriend (I'm not so sure about this, but hey at least he's keen)
This morning 5 hours ago he writes me a text asking how I am, to which I reply, with open ended questions......then nothing.

I will never understand this, can someone shed some light? Is he playing stupid games or am I just being over sensitive? I always reply to all texts regardless of who it's from straight away (as did with mine a couple of weeks ago!!). Why does this wind me up so much? WWYD?

[bbconfusedbb]

He cannot be that busy that he can't even reply to your text and if he was that busy perhaps he shouldn't initiate the conversion! He is clearly playing games!

[Autumnchill]

I'm terrible for doing this at work. I'll hear my text go but then my phone rings or someone walks in the office and I get caught up in something, then an hour later I think 'oh shit, so and so text!'

[Daenerys2]

I'm with you on this...I hate it! Is he married?

[funnychops]

Daenerys I'm pretty sure he's not, but can't pin him down to a weekend date (or even conversation) due to kids....so can't say I've completely ruled it out. But my gut is saying no he's not (hope I'm right)
bb thank you....it's not like I'm after a chapter from war and peace. Of course anyone has time, if you've got time to go to the loo you've got time to text a couple of words.

[NotAMamaYet]

'Playing games' after not replying in 5hrs snort

some people need to get out more....

[NotAMamaYet]

'Playing games' after not replying in 5hrs snort

some people need to get out more....

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

I think there's a fairly substantial natural variation in text times. I have conversations with people through text that span weeks. Sometimes we talk fast, sometimes there's big gaps because someone is busy/distracted/forgets whatever. It's not a big deal. It wouldn't occur to me to think "will I have time to reply to the reply to this message?" Before I send it. It'll wait. It's a conversation without a time limit in the background.

But, if it generally feels like there has been a change in behaviour or effort, I'd be exploring that a bit more.

[funnychops]

Touche notamamayet.....brilliant, such wise words - you should be a dating guru...I'll take your words and use them as a mantra. 👏

[funnychops]

YY anchor re shift in behaviour - it's odd.

[ImperialBlether]

If he can't have a conversation at the weekend, I would think he was married or living with someone. There's usually a lot of downtime for kids at a weekend and the chance of him being unable to have a brief conversation is very slim.

[NotAMamaYet]

You say it's an 'odd his shift in behaviour' ... Yet in the same post you say you're 'not that sure' about being his girlfriend and yet you're tallying how long he takes to text back.... Contradicting much?

IMO sounds like you're hard work. Maybe stop waiting for a text back, go out and do something then when you do get a reply you'll have something fun to talk about

Harsh? Maybe, but at least the five hour wait won't seem as long

[funnychops]

Well it's not that I've pushed the thing to have convos at weekend, we've both been busy....he with kids, me going out till late with my pals....(Bang goes notamamayet's theory) so I don't really think much about it. Just think a 2 second response is not beyond the realms of possibility. Especially as you can see he's been online on WhatsApp in between.
Fuck you WhatsApp and your ability to turn me into a stalker

[Lweji]

Has he replied yet?
or did he cash the cheque and I missed it?

Speaking for myself sometimes I'm relaxed at work and can reply to texts go to MN and at other times I'm going from meeting to class to visitors and no mental availability for chit chat at all.
I'd think that's normal for quite a few people.
But it's also normal not to be so "keen" when you become more established in the relationship. It just means you can relax.

[funnychops]

Lweji nope still no response......so coming up to 7 hours now. No cheque cashed. 😆

Yes I agree - perhaps now he knows I've come off the OLD site (only to mirror his actions) he doesn't need to make as much effort. How wrong can one man be?

[Lweji]

You could ring him. :)
Make sure he's not in hospital or something.

[funnychops]

Could do lweji but no....I'm sure he's not hospitalised....plus I've had a few now so I'd better not

[suspiciousofgoldfish]

Oh just read he had kids - they are quite time consuming.

Don't worry too much yet - maybe make a joke out of it and see what he says?

When I was with The Arsehole, he would text/call for HOURS and then drop off the face of the earth for a day or five . Then he would reappear with loads of cash and take me away for amazing weekends before disappearing again. He also had two phones, which looking back, was a bit weird......

But I think the likelihood of him being involved in the criminal underworld is unlikely for now. It's probably the work and kids combo.

[suspiciousofgoldfish]

I have to say I am getting all nostalgic, many an evening I have spent drinking wine and dissecting text messages from men..... Ahhh, those were the days

[ThisIsTheRightTime]

I cannot respond immediately to all the texts I may receive in a day. My brother, who is one of those who responds really fast, was berating those who don't the other day, again. I responded that I was one of those who often didn't reply immediately. I know myself; I can just as easily let a whole day (or two) go by if I'm busy as answer back straight away. Neither manner reflects my opinion of the person I'm responding too. I would like them both the same but am just busy living my life.

And, aren't men supposed to be less diligent about texting than women? Or have I got that wrong?

I really, really wouldn't allow myself to take this as a bad sign coming from a man I was dating funnychops even though I can be paranoid sometimes.

[funnychops]

Thank you thisis really not wound up about this (thank you 👉🍷). I know he's busy but if he wants to convince me that I'm a priority he'll need to get his finger out because I'm not feeling it right now.

Still no cheque cashed.....

suspicious great advice, I will definitely be making a joke out of this to him next time I see him. In fact I'm quite looking forward to it 😜

[Trills]

I think that sometimes you have a text conversation.

And sometimes you just check in, let someone know you are thinking about them, but you're not in a situation where you can have a conversation.

And sometimes the person you are texting does not realise which of these it is...

[funnychops]

trills very good point, thanks.
I like to close an exchange of a few texts though (speak later, have a great day, etc), but maybe that's just me.

[Trills]

I don't think it's JUST you, but I do think it's "not everyone".

[ThisIsTheRightTime]

I should be honest and add, funnychops that I'm just as guilty as the next woman of overanalysing a man's every move. So, I am not belittling your feelings rather trying to reassure you.

[funnychops]

Thanks thisis I think you have to overanalyse it's the only way, once bitten and all that. I'm very pleased with how my gut instinct is filtering the chaff quite nicely right now.

This one as far as I can tell is a sweetheart, so romantic and thoughtful....just lack of communication in between dates could be better. I can live with this though, annoying as it might be.