Brave Babes Battle Bus

[Halleberry]

New thread girlies as the other was about to run out ... Hope you all find this one xxx

Hi babes.

I had a major wobble yesterday. Remember my very close friend who died a few weeks ago, well I visited her family whom I know very very well yesterday. The grief and disbelief was palpable. I felt utterly wretched for them. They have lost a stunningly beautiful, kind, vibrant, daughter, sister and Mother and on my way home I felt such intensity of emotions I could hardly bare it.

For the first time since last October I wanted to get blind drunk, to forget, to be numb, to take away the pain of the crushing sensation of grief and loss and God unfairness of it all. I was so bloody tempted, I could remember downing that first glass and the warmth it provides, the ready Brek glow of protection (if you remember the advert)....

Then I reminded myself, today my friend would still be gone, today I would feel hungover and have even more heightened sadness, anxiety and loss plus my kids would look my me with quiet disappointment and I absolutely do not regret not drinking.

Life doesn't get any easier but the urge to drink does, just keep on keeping on you fabulous babes xx

Oh baby I'm sorry, it's just so cruel and unfair isn't it? Huge well done for not drinking though, just shows how far you have come and how strong and self aware you are. Thinking of you ️xxx

Just updated my app and it's quite scary, yesterday was a masive 30 unit fuck up and I'm feeling it today. Actually had a lovely evening with a few drinks with a friend, difference was she went home to bed and I sat up on my own drinking. So definitely day 1 today, but realising that I don't really have a plan. Obviously can't drink in moderation, in no way ready to give it up altogether so don't know where that leaves me?

Oh well done on not succumbing babyj that must have been so hard for you

Argh, lost my entire message. Love to you all, ma, elba, sprite.

Had a traumatic evening, walking along the river at the back of my house, and some drunk homeless guy tried to drop kick my puppy into the river. If she hadn't moved by about a millimetre, she would have been a smashed up piece of flesh.

baby sorry to hear that. Sorry that was such a selfish post

baby just remember the fall out. The headaches, the anxiety? And feel happy and smug that you are AF for another day!!!

Oh damn it lost my post. Did mn have a moment?! lala how awful for lala pup! Hope you are both ok.

baby you did so well to resist considering the circumstances. Hope you are ok, you're doing fantastically.

elba how is day 1 going?

ma it's horrid when it starts to feel out of control isn't it. I'm feeling pretty shit too now and am back on the bus from Tuesday (I should say tomorrow but am looking forward to wine with the football, tut).

Oh and elba I think bright colours for wedding are fab...either outfit 1 or 3 I say! I particularly like outfit 3 as it's such a lovely 'pop' of colour.

Well done indeed baby

Elba, I'm the same, if I open a bottle there's no way I don't drink it all. And if I have more than one bottle in the house, I'll drink it all. I have no moderation, but the thought of never drinking again is too scary. I'm just going to try one day at a time and see how I go.

Lala, how awful for you and lalapup

Thanks for seeing me through day one guys, I'm off to bed so hope everyone has an okay evening x

Night sprite, my initial post earlier said how clever you were for thinking of barrie bribes, dead impressed!!

Well done sprite, hope you have a good sleep. I think you're right, one day at a time is the only way forward.

lala poor pup, sounds like she's had a traumatic 24 hours!!!

claret I'm working during the football thankfully, but otherwise it would just feel wrong to watch it without a beer! Sorry you're not feeling in control- you've turned it around brilliantly before though so you will again!

Sounds like dress three is winning...dress one, my personal favourite, should arrive tomorrow so will have a trying on session. May be about to order dress no 5 though

Horribly anxious and twitchy today, and achieved nothing...literally only just managed to shower and put clean pyjamas on and spent most the day wallowing in my room. All totally self inflicted... Only one thing which I know would stop (or postpone) the anxiety and that is not going to happen so just have to ride it out.

Ok, in tears here. I hate my life and I hate living like this.

When I say in tears, I mean crying my eyes out. I don't expect sympathy. At all. The boy I am seeing is back tomorrow, so I am going to have to drink, as I can't be 'normal' unless I have had a drink.... And Monday is supposed to be my AF day. Oh fuck it all.

lala go tot bed and try and sleep.
I can't face going to work tomorrow and trying to negotiate a bankruptcy and job losses, but I have to. And you have to face to morrow too. We can do it AF if we stick together

ma thanks, and I am sorry about all you are going through... Determined to do AF tomorrow... If I hear one more birth announcement though (my best friends are exempt) I am going to jump off the nearest fucking bridge. I am sick and tired of being me. I have no prospects, no future. And thanks to the fucking Brexit jokers, that is how it will remain touché fecking fed up. Apologies for the swearing

Lala do I have to start swinging that squid around, or is it safe to put him back in the tank?

Seriously, go to bed. Do the drill. Have a big drink of water, clean your teeth and go to bed. Tomorrow morning, commit to an AF day. Just one. Lots of us are doing it and we'll get through it together.

Sorry about your poor pup

Baby you did so well to resist and I thank everything I hold dear that you did. You don't need drink, you don't want drink, it will do nothing for you except drag you down into depression and anxiety. Brilliant that you spotted that and made the choice that is best for you, your family and your future. You are amazing

Squid needed

Here you go lala Hope you're feeling better this morning x

No sleep here but no hangover...going for day 2.

Have a good day babes x

Morning All

Welcome Sprite you're in the right place, stick with us and post whenever and however often you wish. Take one day at a time and be kind to yourself I think Fridays are a huge trigger for many of us, the key is to distract yourself, have something planned that can't involve drinking, ie driving everyone that evening, alternative drinks - mock tails, try different combinations of juices, cordials etc. On line jigsaws are good, book a pedicure, organise a health spa (I think you're probably getting the picture) Also don't have any booze in the house it's too tempting, sounds like DH's onboard so that should be possible.
My dirty secret is Addlestones cider, it's lush and fekking strong (sadly I can still taste that first sip and I've been sober for over a year )

Baby there are no words - I really feel for you and your friends family, it must be so painful for you all. I just want to wrap you up in cotton wool. You are a strong bird and you will get through this. I expect that you will be a tower of strength to her family during this difficult time. Massive Well Done for not succumbing to the WW - that took some serious strength. Hugs to you my friend xxx

Have a good day everyone x

Morning all. Big hugs all round.

Elba, I hope today is a better day, you say you didn't achieve anything yesterday but you made it through. Sometimes that's all we can do. So well done for having a shower and putting clean pjs on x

Lala, I'm sorry you got upset last night, how are you this morning? I hope work goes okay. How's lalapup?

Well, it's Monday (boo). Football tonight for everyone? I've joined a dressmaking course on monday nights but I'll be checking the score on my phone.

(another annoying question from me....what do AF and WW mean please?)

Good morning

sprite huge welcome to our lovely bus. We all reach a point where we're just scunnered with our drinking and we're at various stages of achieving our goal of cutting down or stopping. You'll get squillions of support and hand holding, also the realisation your not alone can help in the struggle to be AF alcohol free and beat the WW wine witch... Xxx

Well after Saturday's sadness yesterday was just as bad. WW3 broke out in our house. My 17 year old DD has been moody, short tempered and selfish bickering constantly with dd2 who is 5 and very very feisty so my last night I was in tears, grieving for my friend and dealing with the endless shit had me in tears and dh trying to have my back blew up and told them both to get out of the living room, dd1 got shouty and pointy and he reacted and kinda pushed her out and she went mental. Lots of screaming and shouting and crying. I've really spoiled both of my girls, I can't bear confrontation (only child) so I generally back down from sticking up for myself and my guilt from my drinking days has left me being a bit subservient. He however thinks they are spoilt and selfish and it's time to get tough. Q a riot. Stuck in the middle and stressed to the max.

spanna thank you my fantastic friend for your lovely comments. I totally empathise with your situation with your dd. My teenager has told me she feels depressed, tense with the atmosphere at home (mostly her creation) and generally unhappy.

It's so difficult, I cannot have her being horrid to everyone as my 5 yr old is learning that behaviour but I don't want to isolate her either. Her Dad, my first husband is a naturally depressive person. He has a kind of "the world is conspiring against me" attitude and she is very like him In so many ways. My 5 year old is a cute crazy mass of auburn curls and big brown eyes but is as stubborn a child as I have ever known. Hates going to bed or being told what to do, as does her Dad, dh now.

Nae wunner I drank xxx

sprite AF means alcohol free and WW is the wicked witch (the urge to drink - she lurks for me in the early evening!)

Good luck to all of you on Day 1 today. I'm now on day 25, and honestly it does get easier. The first few days are the hardest, keep busy and line up a few nice things to treat yourself with.

joey that's incredible, well bloody done, do you feel different? Do you look different? Come on spill???
Your a star xxx

Evening just checking in briefly, still at work. This is day 2 but already fighting of thoughts of stopping at the shop 'just in case'. Despite intentions to think one day at a time I'm tying myself in knots thinking that if I don't drink tonight I won't have opportunity to do so 'properly' until Thursday as I'm off tomorrow....so stupid!

Joey Congratulations on Day 25 You are a it does get easier, doesn't it? You just have to 'ride out' the trigger moments. No hangover is soooo worth it You're rolling on for ONE month very soon and think of the money you haven't spent Tis all good