to think DP should get himself up in the morning?

[EnoughAlready999]

He sets about 3 alarm his phone but turns them all off and goes back to sleep until I come up and say it's 8 / ten past whatever. He then blames me for him being in a rush, calls me rude/ignorant etc. My daughterlikes to be early for school so we leave at 8.25/8.30 but he adds stress to it all by holding us up and sometimes (like this morning) smoking in the car which DD hates (she knows it's illegal too!)

I've told him I will stop talking to him in the morning as its just upsetting. I don't see why I should be spoken to like that. He says he ddoesn't know why I'm like it as though I'm the rude one.

You need some legal advice on your house. If you have bought under right to buy there will be limitations on selling or renting out and as you're not working you won't be able to buy him out.

I think you've already decided you're leaving. I dont blame you at all. Sounds like the best thing.

Focus on practicalities, contact your local welfare rights advisor (usually located within social services dept) they know their stuff on benefits. Contact local housing authorities and possibly private landlords, it's not easy but some will take on people on hb without deposit, could your mother or brother/s be guarantor? See cab to get information on applying for legal aid for help with an abusive ex, as there's abuse as there clearly is to is but hard to prove to others you may get help there.

Let your Dr and mw know so they can support you, let school know so dd gets support.

The house wasn't right to buy but I'm
in no rush to sell it. He can stay there
or it can be rented out. We only bought it last month! It's in joint names so if he carries on paying the mortgage it's all good. I still own £18k of it.

Anyway, this morning he said how he'd been trying to save up for a holiday but with me not working and taking "all his money" it's been too hard - this has only been the case since we bought the house as then all my savings had gone into that so I don't really understand what he means. I suggested he spend less on weed to which he responded that he might go ahead and buy a greatest and equipment to grow his own cannabis. I said "go ahead" - revenge will be sweet when I move out and then report him!

He was also moaning as he thinks he caught a cold from the cashier in the shop yesterday as she sneezed in front of him. Of course, it's my fault because I texted him to ask him to get some stirfry veg on his way home so that's why he was in the shop. I said it must be lovely having someone to blame all the time.

&gro-tent not greatest!

He sounds a right twat. Sorry OP

But just think how lovely it will be when you don't have to put up with his shit any more?

Yes it will be bliss. Just wish it wasn't so difficult to get to that point.
Also when I've left before he does a very good job at being gutted, sad and bewildered at why I've left and makes me feel really guilty and uncertain. It's horrible and I've always gone back because there's no-one to support me and convince me that leaving is the best thing.

I've always gone back because there's no-one to support me and convince me that leaving is the best thing.

Well that won't be the case now you have all of us cheering you on!

Enough,

you absolutely do not need a man to support you. You can do it. You can work, you can take care of your children, you can be your own person.

I had NO support when I left ex, was NC with my foo and we were living near his family at the time! We'd not long lived there so I'd not had chance to make friends etc. You might be surprised as if anything you'll have LESS on your plate by the sounds of things.

when I've left before he does a very good job at being gutted, sad and bewildered at why I've left

Remember this is not your problem. YOU know why you're leaving. It's not up to you to make him understand that which he does not want to understand.

He has been on Craigslist looking for NSA SEX.

And I am just reading a conversation on Blend where he is telling this girl he likes her tattoos.

HELP ME I AM FALLING APART

Id post his bloody picture on Craigslist and do him a write up. What a total wanksplat he is.

This is all to get a reaction from you no doubt, don't fall for it.

As everyone has said you deserve better than this pathetic excuse for a man.

Don't fall apart now.
The scales are falling form your eyes and you are making plans to get away from this asshole.
Keep going with your plans.

Ignore him and his crappy ways.
Forge ahead and don't be sidetracked by this next load of BS.
It doesn't affect you now anyway.
You are getting out so all these women are more than welcome to him.

I've changed his profile pic on Blendr to one of his fat workmate. Not fair on the workmate I know but that's DD'S problem.

I told him we're over. He came out with the usual shit - "I was just bored, wasn't gonna do anything". He also says he didn't write those messages even though they're from HIS email address. There are conversations on Tumblr which I read to him and he says he didn't write those - he has told someone the name of our street and all sorts which obviously show he wrote it! He
told one girl he hadn't had a good f* for ages after writing 'there's more to life than sex'! Absolute scumbag and he knows it really.

*Blendr not Tumblr

YANBU. DH can't set the alarm on his phone, so I set the alarm on mine and go and wake him (I've already been awake for 1.5 hours by this point! ).

Well done on changing the profile picture - brilliant!
But don't get drawn in to 'tit for tat'
You are far better than that.
Rise above it.

I can't even see any tattoos in this woman's photos so she must have sent him some.
I feel quite calm now. He's at work upset, he texted "do you want me to hurt myself?" I replied "no just f* off"

Is he known to get your attention by self-harming?
WTF is his text supposed to mean?
See.... this is exactly the reason why 'THE DRUGS DON'T WORK'!!!

All these things will be something to remind you why you won't be going back. He's realised you're leaving and is trying his best to get you to stay. Why would he want to lose his servant? Nothing can stop you now

I think he felt like walking in front a bus. He does get quite dramatic.

He's home now and wanting to book a holiday for next week.

Can he afford to go on holiday next week?
He's more than welcome to go on his own.
You have no issue with this at all.
Just don't get drawn back in by the Mr Nice-guy routine.
You know it won't last.

Stop engaging with this pillock

Plan your escape and don't have any further pointless "conversations" with him

if he threatens to hurt himself simply say "go on then, saves me the job"

disengage

My alarm goes off at 5:50am.

What a lazy arsehole

Book a WHAT!?!

So is this an 'Oh no! She's starting to see me for what I am! If I do something to pacify her, she'll get back in her box' holiday? Phffffft!!

Your eyes are wide open, aren't they? You've seen him for what he is. So now, just make your plans.