"He treats/treated me Like A Princess..."

[LateNightEveningProstitute]

What does that even mean?

I see it loads on threads, "he used to treat me like a princess". I don't know what it means.

If I go out with someone, I want them to treat me with respect and be honest with me. I want them to take an interest in me and have a laugh with them.

But I think of Like A Princess and I assume it means "he put me on a pedestal" or "he bought me lots of shiny pretty things" or "he wouldn't let me pay for anything and insisted on making all of the decisions" or "lovebombing" or whatever.

I can't imagine how being treated Like A Princess could ever be a positive! Ever. It's horribly misogynistic and sounds a lot like the sort of man who treats a woman Like A Princess is also the sort who expects a woman to be demure, ladylike, coy, sweet...

Can someone please enlighten me?

I would not enjoy the thing that I think it means, which is very similar to the thing that you think it means. (pedestal/worshipful/not paying/"treating").

To me it would feel cringey and like we were not in a partnership of equals.

The people who use is and mean it positively will either say

a - it doesn't mean what we think it means
b - it does mean what we think it means but they enjoy that treatment/behaviour

I've wondered this before. I see it on fb along with parents who postbpictures of "my little princess."

I tend to automatically deduct 'respect points' from any woman who says this.

Personally I want my partner to treat me with respect, kindness and equality.

My ex used to tell me constantly that he "treated me like a princess" and "spoilt" me. Apparently spoiling me involved taking me to and from work (we worked the same hours, in the same building) and to the supermarket for the family shop. Treating me like a princess meant "allowing" me money for haircuts, and washing the dishes once a week ( did literally nothing else). Of course, if I dared to do something that he didn't like he would withdraw this spoiling and princess treatment as I was " taking the piss". During such periods, when I'd be walking five miles to work in the rain ( not allowed bus fare due to my "piss taking" probably because I'd asked him to wash up for the second time that week or similar crime) a co worker would pick me up, and I'd tell her all about how he spoilt me, and treated me like a princess etc.

Whenever I hear that now, I automatically think, abusive twat.

Oh dear.

I say DP treats me like a princess. But that's 'cause he puts my happiness above his own - whatever it is that brings me happiness.

It is a bit of a worrying phrase and not least because it's generally not sustainable - "he used to treat me like a princess".

It's not something I would be comfortable with, which is just as well since my husband of 32 years has never treated me like a princess.

Personally I prefer a relationship based on respect, compromise and negotiation and I would be concerned if my husband put my happiness before his own every time.

I assumed it just meant he looks after her and cares what she thinks. Never thought of it like that before. I wouldnt find it cringy though.

fireside - it works for us because I always put his happiness before mine! So we balance each other out.

My happiness isn't about "getting my own way" and more often than not DP can look at the bigger picture and see that what I want right there and then is not going to do me any favours in the long run (eg he said no to us having a child together - he was right because my mental health would have suffered).

The phrase has always made me cringe.

I hate the phrase. I think it means fuss over, spend money on, probably veering into controlling everything, not letting you be yourself.

I saw an online dating profile last night, 'I am looking for a woman to spoil' and was instantly turned off.

I can't read the 'princessing' threads on style and beauty either.

I'm sure people have different views of it but in my mind it's infantile. It implies that the big strong guy gives his helpless, dependent woman the occasional treat because, you know, he has testicles.

I don't see it much on here. It's more Jeremy Kyle isn't it?

It says to me "susceptible desperate women who are impressed by being spoiled and lovebombed at the start of a relationsjip and surprised when it's not sistainable to the same degree long term . I think they think the men adore them when actually it's the men's basic tried and tested modus operandi - the names change but it stays the same. I think women who allow a man to be a man and chase whilst still having enough self regard to pull her weight in the relationship particularly at the beginning and recripocate are the ones who have the long term respect from their partners.

I heard a bit of Abi Clancy on the radio yesterday. I had to turn it off in case the sound of her pathetic gibber caused me to lose IQ points.

Ooooh my girl is such a little girlie girlie girl, she changes outfits all the time. My second one likes sport..she's going to be my little tomboy with football and that so maybe Peter will have her...
Fuck off.

That phrase is a red flag to me.

I think women would do well to listen to what Betrayedbutsurvived says.
Like other posters I am at a loss as to why anyone would want to be treated like a princess. Perhaps abusive men sense wanting to be treated that way and use is as a way in. Not saying it's the fault of the women AT ALL. But I think it's a massive red flag.

women who allow a man to be a man and chase

What?????

eg he said no to us having a child together - he was right because my mental health would have suffered).

Not quite sure what to say to this. Was this his reason and sorry if this is intrusive, was it based upon anything concrete?

My DH and I have mutually agreed that it would not be a good idea to have any more children because I get AND in pregnancy and mild PND. He was really worried in my last pregnancy (though supportive) because in my last one, I did admittedly go a bit bonkers thanks to a combination of difficult circumstances,

But that's a decision we have sat down and thought about/discussed together, both being on the same page. (Namely we both love children, wouldn't abort if another came along but it would be best to avoid for the next few years).

I would baulk and probably leave someone if I wanted children and they said no, because they thought my MH was too fragile. It's not their call to make. But then I come from an EA background and no longer tolerate any nonsense.

Makes me cringe too. Any man that tried to treat me as anything less than an independent woman with my own opinions would be shown the door.

Sorry, meant to say in pregnancy no 4 I went a bit mental causing concern about no 5, but DH says he is really proud of how I managed to handle it last time. So am I. It's very hard when you have hyper-emesis for 30 weeks. But I would never allow a partner to evaluate my physical and mental health for me and go along with his decision on those grounds.

Maybe I am over-reacting?

What AF said.

I'm afraid I do make rather large assumptions about anyone who spout the 'princess' word.

Red flag for me too. It's on a par with 'keeping yourself nice' which isn't used as much now, thankfully.

fizzy - yes he is right. My mental health is fairly precarious at the best of times, the risk of another child having a massively negative impact on DS is too great and that, in the long run, would break my heart. It was all this lovely romantic idea that I had, but reality is not like that. I struggled enough to cope with just DS when he small.

redannie - that's exactly what happened with me!!!

redannie, the key there is that he respects, encourages and supports what you do OUTSIDE your relationship