"He treats/treated me Like A Princess..."

[LateNightEveningProstitute]

What does that even mean?

I see it loads on threads, "he used to treat me like a princess". I don't know what it means.

If I go out with someone, I want them to treat me with respect and be honest with me. I want them to take an interest in me and have a laugh with them.

But I think of Like A Princess and I assume it means "he put me on a pedestal" or "he bought me lots of shiny pretty things" or "he wouldn't let me pay for anything and insisted on making all of the decisions" or "lovebombing" or whatever.

I can't imagine how being treated Like A Princess could ever be a positive! Ever. It's horribly misogynistic and sounds a lot like the sort of man who treats a woman Like A Princess is also the sort who expects a woman to be demure, ladylike, coy, sweet...

Can someone please enlighten me?

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

But sometimes it can be just shorthand for saying "he treats me with love and respect and cherishes me"

Yes.

If you see it as negative and don't want to use it - fine.

If you don't see it as negative and do want to use it - fine.

No need to brow beat and belittle others to think like a hive mind. Live and let live.

[BitOutOfPractice]

Oi! Manon that lazy stereotype of Essex gets right on my last one! My Essex-based DP and my Essex-born exH are both lovely men who treat women with respect and as equals so how about finding a less lazy way of expressing yourself eh?

[BitOutOfPractice]

Where have I belitteld or brow beaten anyone Milk? In fact, I specifically said that I saw everyone's point about it being demeaning but sometimes it's not meant like that.

I have never asked for, or indeed have I been , treated like a princess

[chilledwarmth]

hey cory, I used that as an example of a phrase that isn't supposed to be taken literally. She called me "my guy". "my". As in hers. And just like the princess example, she didn't mean it literally. She didn't actually mean I was her property, despite technically saying it.

You're looking too hard at this, trying to find hidden meanings that aren't there. "He said princess, princesses traditionally needed rescued by a strong man, so you're implying she wouldn't manage without him". No, it's just a phrase that people use to say that they are doing something nice for the person they love. Straining to look for a secondary meaning is bordering on paranoid.

[ManonLescaut]

If you're confident chilledwarmth you don't need silly phrases such as 'princess'.

[whattheseithakasmean]

Sniggering slightly at treated like a Princess referring to Princess Annne. Imagine if instead of Princess dressing up being fluffy pink dresses and tiaras it was sensible lace ups and tweed - do you think it could catch on?

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

I question the IQ of people who think having a different opinion to them means they are intellectually superior.

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

BitOutOfPractice - nononononooo... I was agreeing with what you said - that's what I've been trying to say but apparently I'm wrong (and feeling somewhat belittled).

[BitOutOfPractice]

Oh! Sorry! I'll wind my neck in!

[corythatwas]

Chilledwarmth, if language used outside doesn't matter, do you actually go to the pub and tell your mates that you are your girlfriend's little prince? Because if you don't feel insecure about your relationship, the fact that they're going to piss themselves laughing won't matter, will it?

Women, like men, live in a wider world: they have friends, workmates, sons and daughters, sometimes a workforce to manage. The language used about them, and about women in general, will affect how they get on in life in general.

[ManonLescaut]

My Essex-based DP and my Essex-born exH are both lovely men who treat women with respect and as equals so how about finding a less lazy way of expressing yourself eh?

No doubt they are, there's a wide range of people in Essex as in any county. I'm not implying everyone in Essex is like that at all.

[corythatwas]

Or to put it another way, chilledwarmth, you have argued all along that cutesey, passive language doesn't matter. But it is all about cutesey, passive language used about women. You have not given a single example that suggests that you are comfortable with cutesey, passive language used about men or about yourself as a man.

Go on, tell us, are you your girlfriend's little prince? And are you happy to tell your mates?

[ManonLescaut]

You're looking too hard at this

No, you're not looking hard enough.

[chilledwarmth]

All I can give is my own experience, however we were both self confident and knew the relationship was an equal one, so she never got pissed with me saying that phrase, and I never got pissed with her referring to me as her guy. If either of us had feelings of insecurity, it's likely we would. If I didn't feel equal, I would endlessly think about her choice of the words "my guy", and speculate on whether she considered me her property. But we both had self confidence and we knew it was an equal relationship, so phrases like that didn't bother us.

cory no I wouldn't go to the "pub" and tell my buddies that I'm girlfriend's little prince. But not because they'd laugh, just because I don't understand why you'd go and say it. To what end? Is it just to prove that you aren't insecure? Because if you have to go out and prove it, then I'm guessing you ain't so secure.

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

whatthese - I don't have any pink dresses (fluffy or unfluffy) or tiaras but I DO have sensible lace ups!

[BitOutOfPractice]

Yes you are Manon. You are totally implying that Essex is tacky by desbribing something you find tacky and offensive as "Essex".

It's a horrible lazy steroetype and I can tell you that it wears mighty mighty thin. And I don't really want to send my daughters out into a world where they will constantly have to put up with crap misogynistic "Essex girl" jokes about where they come from either. It's no longer OK to stereotype Glasgow people as drunks, or Liverpudlians as criminals etc etc. But to label Essex as "chavvy" and tacky and nasty is apparently fine

[ManonLescaut]

I don't understand why you'd go and say it. To what end?

Exactly.

[BitOutOfPractice]

I'm not from Essex btw. But I've lived here a while and I am still genuinely surprised by how nasty people are about it. It's very tedious

[chilledwarmth]

FYI my buddies all knew the pet names our girls had for us, and us theirs. It didn't matter. We laughed and discussed who sounded the cutest :p

I'll be the first to admit that "cute" is really a childish concept. It's immature, and it doesn't really make a lot of logical sense. But then love doesn't either. I can't explain why I loved my girlfriend, all I know is that I did, and she loved me. And part of that relationship involved fooling around with each other, sometimes being quite silly around each other. We made each other laugh, despite acting like kids a lot of the time. If we had forced ourselves to only act mature and logical around each other all the time, it would have been a much duller relationship.

[chilledwarmth]

Manon you are the one who said it, I just asked what the heck you're on about, and what exactly you see as the point in doing it. Did you seriously just turn round and agree with me criticizing your own previous post?

[AndTheBandPlayedOn]

Cringe. I agree with ManonL
Imho, it is Disney brainwashing that every girl wants the Swoon and men operate the formula of seduction... one day your Prince will come will make any lass drool like Pavlov's dogs at the mention of "Princess" and a few superficial gestures to "prove it". False facade: red flag.

[ManonLescaut]

No, I'm genuinely not implying everyone is like that, OutofPractice it is simply a lazy stereotype. Essex is a large county full of lots of different types of people.

I think that the 'princess' aesthetic is quite typical of the TOWIE crowd, but I'm well aware that they do not represent the majority.

Nor do I hold the MIC crowd to represent all of Chelsea either.

[BitOutOfPractice]

Well manon I suggest that if you don't like people making lazy sterotypes about women (like princess) then you should refrain from using them yourself eh?

[ManonLescaut]

Manon you are the one who said it

I'm not actually, it was corythatwas

She asked if you would tell your mates you're your gf's 'little prince'. And your reply is equally applicable to the use of 'my princess'. You 'Why would you go and say it? To what end?' To which I replied - 'Exactly'.

[corythatwas]

Absolutely nothing against pet names in a relationship, chilledwarmth: making love is a kind of play and nothing wrong with that.

The problem that many of us see is that this kind of pet name talk has a tendency to hang around women in wider areas and affect the way men think about them and women think about each other. Not just the people in the relationship or close buddies in private conversation, but people in the workplace or people on public forums. It affects the way that people talk about their daughters as opposed to their sons (daddy's little princess) and that in turn affects how these daughters perceive themselves.

Not trying to interfere in people's foreplay here.