"He treats/treated me Like A Princess..."

[LateNightEveningProstitute]

What does that even mean?

I see it loads on threads, "he used to treat me like a princess". I don't know what it means.

If I go out with someone, I want them to treat me with respect and be honest with me. I want them to take an interest in me and have a laugh with them.

But I think of Like A Princess and I assume it means "he put me on a pedestal" or "he bought me lots of shiny pretty things" or "he wouldn't let me pay for anything and insisted on making all of the decisions" or "lovebombing" or whatever.

I can't imagine how being treated Like A Princess could ever be a positive! Ever. It's horribly misogynistic and sounds a lot like the sort of man who treats a woman Like A Princess is also the sort who expects a woman to be demure, ladylike, coy, sweet...

Can someone please enlighten me?

[Offred]

And TBH I always find the over investment in my romantic relationships more than a little strange.

Does it really bother other people if I wouldn't go out with them, wouldn't like to be in their relationship, am alone forever, don't like having life decisions made for me by a man?

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

You see your talk of red flags and correlation with low self esteem makes me feel wrong for saying DP treats me like a princess and liking it.

And that lowers my self esteem far more than DP telling me I'm beautiful and that he'll hang the washing out because I've done enough and I should sit down and chill.

[chilledwarmth]

I think you've got it right MilkTwoSugars. It's not about literally treating someone like a royal princess. It's just about going that extra mile for someone you care about, because you love them and you want them to feel that they are loved.

[chilledwarmth]

Hey offred, being treated like a pet doesn't sound romantic to me, where did you get that idea from?

[corythatwas]

So Chilledwarmth, would you say your girlfriend treats you like a prince? And if not, why not?

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

Tbh I often say I feel like shit. I assume people don't take that literally.

[VulcanWoman]

It's a BS cringe.

[doceodocere]

Huge cringe.

Agree it's a red flag

I'm not big on "romance" either.

[corythatwas]

I am trying to put my finger on why, if this is all about equal partners doing nice things for each other on a mutual basis, it does not seem to be the norm for a man to tell people that his new girlfriend treats him like a prince? And I could even imagine that meeting with a few raised eyebrows.

Is it because there is something inherently babyish about this fairytale language, which is thought only fit for women?

Or because the assumption is that a man will not derive his self esteem from being loved and treated by a woman?

Or...insert other reason?

[pocketsaviour]

Oubliette

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

cory - not prince, but I do say that DP is my knight in shining armour. Is that the equivalent?

[ManonLescaut]

Massively Disney and rather TOWIE.

I find it infantilising and toe-curling in equal measure.

[WordGetsAround]

Absolutely hate the phrase, and am wary of anyone that uses it. Don't warm to woman who aspire to be treated like that and am very suspicious of men who treat their girlfriend / wife like it.

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

On the other hand though - it's something between ourselves, not announced to all and sundry (except a fairly anonymous Internet forum).

Announcing it to people would be a bit bleughhh.

[chilledwarmth]

hehe cory, no I've never heard of "treat him like a prince", but like MilkTwoSugars said many times you will hear a girl say that her guy is a knight in shining armor which would be the closest comparison. I see nothing wrong with either.

Hey doceodocere, if you aren't big on romance, then what qualities would you look for in a partner, or did you mean that you just want to stay single?

[Nannawifeofbaldr]

Cory I think that the reason is that we don't refer to treating our men "like a Prince" is that society assumes that men can take care of themselves, earn for themselves, buy themselves nice things.

I would think that many men would feel emasculated by their woman announcing that they "treat them like a Prince".

And no Milk "Knight in shining armour" is not equivalent- as that still implies he is doing something for you rather than the other way around.

[Branleuse]

my exh treated me like a princess at first. I was young and he kind of treated me like a treasured child. I lapped it up as my previous boyfriend had needed looking after by me, so I truly thought my this new treatment was where it was all at, and I could finally relax. Of course it didnt last. It never does. I wouldnt want it now im older and wiser

[ManonLescaut]

And no Milk "Knight in shining armour" is not equivalent- as that still implies he is doing something for you rather than the other way around

Yep. It implies he's an action hero not a kept maiden.

It would be great if people avoided clichés generally when talking about their partner - I love the bones of him, I'm in bits...

STOP!!

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

You know when you call an abusive man a bastard, do you literally mean he's a regular person who happened to be born to parents not married to each other? I'm guessing not.

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

Sorry, I'll rephrase that to "being a bastard".

[NannawifeofBaldr]

Milk that's not really analogous.

[ManonLescaut]

Bastard has two meanings one literal and the other figurative, it's not a compliment either way. All the meanings of princess are backward in this context.

[Zaurak]

Hate it. Hate the whole 'my little princess' shit for girls and any man who uses the phrase I'd steer well clear of.

It's the same argument used in cultures where women are kept under lock and key, not allowed to drive, or work, or honour without a male guardian. I have heard men say this is perfectly fine because said women are treated like princesses.

Treat women like the equals they are. We don't want to be princesses. We want to be doctors, lawyers, vets, racing drivers and pilots. Just like men do. Not many jobs actually need a penis.

[ManonLescaut]

Clearly it doesn't mean you are part of a royal family, but it does indicate a desire to be treated as special in a rather infantile way.

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

Why the assumption that princesses are vacuous and passive? Are princesses not allowed to have some get up and go about them?