Am I right to text this woman?

[deutschland83]

Work colleague of DHs, unsolicited messages on his phone. Late night texts when's she's out. Latest is a picture of underwear laid out.

I want to tell her to fuck off.

Should I?

He doesn't know I have seen them.

His reply wont show in the top pull down - only incoming messages. I've just tested this to make sure it's still true, it is.

He's deleting his replies anyway, there's zero chance that he's ignoring it but hasn't blocked her or mentioned it to you.

He's a dick. I'm sorry OP. I wouldn't be replying to her because it'll look like you've fell for his lies, and because it's him that you need to have this out with.

I agree with what slow said to do.. hope it's not as bad as it looks though x

I have to tackle him.

I still want to text her, her complete lack of respect to me as a fellow female has made me livid.

My anger is towards both of them though.

No previous history or any suspicious things.

Why would he delete his messages but not hers?

Unsolicited you say OP.
Are you ABSOLUTELY sure?

Have a think about that one, Dave

She is sending sexy time messages. He is storing them for the wank bank.

Um, to feed his ego?

Exactly AF.

As somebody upthread said.... there is something going on or she is barking mad.

Well in that case he's an absolute twat.

You need to speak to your husband.

I'd be very surprised if he hadn't encouraged this in some way.

Do what Slow said, if you can. Don't give him a chance to minimise.

I've been in a situation slightly different and text the OW but I wish I kept my dignity and didn't contact her now. So try to resist the urge focus more on him. Is he at home with you now?

Tell him someone has told you everything.

Then say nothing.

Get the evidence on your phone (pic) if you can

You do need to talk to him.

I'm trying to think what I would do if I received an unsolicited non work-related message at home. I would be responding immediately with a WTF-type reply and then I'd have it out with them the very next working day. Those messages would be stopped one way or another.

I sure as hell wouldn't be keeping them!!

Fuck fuck.

Just checked his online billing (his phone is a secondary on my contract).

There's multiple text messages to her number. They are on nights he has been away (matching it to his Facebook history), lots of them over the last 12 months.

Sorry, I agree with PPs.

Texts like that are so rarely 'unsolicited', especially seeing as they are work colleagues. Can you imagine the embarrassment the next day? Nobody would do that to themselves, not unless they had prompting or the flirting was mutual.

I think he flirts at work or texts her in secret and tries to delete it from you, I just can't see anyone sending text like that completely unprovoked, unless she was mentally ill in which case I doubt she'd be successfully employed in the same line of work as your 'D'H?

You need to confront him

Stay calm if you can.

Does the billing come to you?

Get the bills copied. Copy the paperwork you need (finances), in case you need them.

I'm sorry this is happening. You poor thing. Do you have a friend irl you can see tonight?

Try to resist texting her. She will immediately contact your husband and it will give him time to think up some bullshit excuse.

Is he at home at the moment?

Oh, shit. I'm so sorry deutsch. And well done on keeping your head.

Having been through something similar, I totally sympathise with you . Keep copies of everything that you find before you have a 'chat' with him - just in case he gets wind that you're suspicious and deletes everything. One bit of consolation - if he was texting her while he was away, he wasn't seeing her. Good luck!