Am I right to text this woman?

[deutschland83]

Work colleague of DHs, unsolicited messages on his phone. Late night texts when's she's out. Latest is a picture of underwear laid out.

I want to tell her to fuck off.

Should I?

He doesn't know I have seen them.

Poor you OP, what a completely shit cunt he is. I'm not sure I'd ask him anything, tell him to pack his shit and fuck off, tell him you both know why. xx

Hope you are ok OP.

keep calm....hard i know, but so much more intimidating for your husband....he will be so put off by you acting rationally that he will probably tell all!

It will eat away at you if you don't confront him. Sorry you are going through this.

Oh god, I'm so sorry. This is awful.

If it were me I think I'd be tempted to let him dig his own grave. I'd print out all the 'evidence' and leave it laid out on the table for when he got home, at which point I wouldn't be there. I'd then wait for the calls/texts/voicemails to roll in and see what kind of tangled web of excuses he weaved to attempt to explain himself.

Not saying it's the mature or the right thing to do, but it's probably what I'd do.

This is my first visit to the relationships page and the first thread I've read and my heart is absolutely breaking for OP.

I truly hope you're OK. Be strong x

No idea why you'd think I'd contacting her, it's your husband who's the problem

About, not I'd

OP, call a friend. And if you can - and my god, it would be hard - do what ExtraHotLatte recommends.

Not having a conversation with him will fuck with your head - but him lying to you will fuck with it even more, and for longer. Buy yourself sometime and let him face the reality of it all before you talk it over.

Trouble is that there are DCS. In reality, that complicates things.

Sorry OP...this is heinous. Hope you are ok

Hope she's ok

Do you have any RL support OP?

Hope you are ok op x

I hope all is well OP

I'd not be so sure to assume that if the phone is unlocked and/or you know the passwords to accounts, that there is nothing going on. From personal experience - there was plenty of evidence to be seen, had I gone looking for it, but as the trusting, Christian wife, he relied on the fact I never did. Until I did.

I texted ex OW, very polite and calm. She then sent H a text saying I was a mad woman ... too right I was a mad woman. You wont get any satisfaction

Wishing you courage and strength today. Another one who knows how you feel - I was sickened by the thought of having sat next to my OH while he smiled (smirked?) at his messages from his beautiful lady and his third world facebook slut buddy (and God knows who else)..dont expect him to apologise -mine raged when confronted with the evidence of his behaviour (I took screenshots as evidence) and called me a privacy invading whore. My innocence and trust were destroyed in those few moments... and my childrens too. I couldn't protect them from the fallout of his behaviour and for that I will never forgive him.

This woman has a husband too - am I right?

Doesn't he need to know what's been going on as well?

Get the screen shots then he can't deny it or gaslight you in the future.

Oh fucking hell.

What a bastard, op, you must be reeling, I'm so sorry

I'm sorry you're going through this OP. I'd make sure you keep the evidence somewhere safe. You need to find someone you have have a good heart to heart with who'll definitely respect your confidence. It wouldn't hurt to see a solicitor to see where you stand. I'd think carefully about what you want to happen next before confronting him. Sorry your DH has turned out not to be who you thought he was.

Definitely don't text the OW. That'll give them a chance to start hiding evidence. You need to plan your next move without them knowing.

Sending big hugs.

In whatsapp you can choose to archive your messages to 'hide' them from the main screen and can only see them if you pull down as you have said.
He isn't deleting them, he is saving them.

I've been thinking of you all night OP, how are things now?

So sorry op, I really wish we hadn't all been right. It is just awful hearing another woman is being hurt like this, I will never understand the mentality of an OW.