Spring has sprung and the sap is rising! It's Dating Thread 104

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

He IS A coward without a doubt freaky

He remembers. He chooses to pretend he doesn't.

Well good for you Freaky. You called him out for misleading you. I'd rather he took that 'anger' away as his last image of you than the image of you simpering like a doormat 'that's ok,'. I'd buy you a great big margarita for making that conversation hard for him.

Going out for drinks and dinner Handy he is going out to get a new phone as he thinks his is not working due to texts not appearing he said he felt really confused to why i wasnt replying and really thought he had upset me. I said i thought i had upset him and he didnt want to see me again!

I know it doesn't feel like it now Freaky but you have had a lucky escape. Don't worry about what his last impression of you is, fuck him.

Faker faker faker, Bacon was a
Blinking faker. Beware the charm. That's the only thing to take from this.

Oh honey this is gonna sting. But try really hard to keep in mind the IDWAR-by text and the denial of lack of change and 'I've done nothing wrong' shizzle. THAT'S Bacon. The one before that was on a charm offensive.

Do you have RL to help you sleep?

I'm sorry this happened. Really sorry.

Yeah, there was no apology at all. Well, maybe a "I'm sorry if you FEEL hurt and used"..yeah, I do feel like that, cos of your twattish behaviour!

And apparently I was talking to him like he was a four year old.

His whole attitude was like "why are we even bothering to talk about this? I've told you how I feel, now go away" Do I not get to say how I feel?

I may actually feel alright about this tomorrow. I have my pride intact though I feel a bit duped. But I am so much the better person.

And, um, I may have been in contact again with MrEloquent. I superliked him on Tinder earlier as a kind of thank you for being sweet last night. (yeah, I know, I know) He messaged me on there just before I spoke to Dickface and asked if I was OK, so after the call I said no...and it all came spilling out.Then he was incredibly sweet and lovely to me again.
But if he gets in contact again I will tell him to go away. I'm far too needy and vulnerable just now and he is an IDWAR of the highest order, so best avoided for a bit, no matter how sweet.

Oh Freaky I'm gutted for you and angry with Bacon. To have not considered how you would feel as a result of his behaviour? Completely shitty. Your friend is right, take a break and regroup but I do think you did well getting back swiping. Get busy and plan yourself some treats .

Hello everybody else! Thank you for all the input into what is potentially happening with me and my ex. I will name him Fence. I'm feeling a little cautious today and JollyX thinking about what you said about the break up is on my mind. The break up was horrific, he had other serious baggage going on and could not cope with being in a relationship as well. I was so hurt. I do wonder though, if I took it badly because I wasn't in a good place after my marriage ended. I only separated from my husband six months before and so didn't want another split. All round it was crap timing for both of us.

Anyway, I'm wondering if he is also feeling cautious. His texts today have been perfunctory to say the least and I'm not feeling it. Maybe what we felt was the initial excitement of seeing each other again after two years? I'm feeling calm even if nothing comes of it, there is no pressure as I am not sure either of what I want to happen. I think this thread has really helped me it's all BS until it happens!! I am training myself to have no expectations.

He also knows that if he wants this second chance, it is there but he will have to earn it. I am definitely the prize here and I will be interested to see if there is any moosehunting over the next week or so. I'm going to relax with the texting tomorrow and watch to see if he steps it up.

Handy I'm so pleased to hear what is happening with you and Twix! And I love it when a plan comes together too!

314 I think I need you in my life to help me construct texts I read your posts in awe of the things you come up with! And I nearly spat my brew out at RumpledForeskin - best iron name ever!

muddling yay for 2nd marvel date!

Sassy good work with the RL iron and date! I may have acquired a RL iron as above but I am refusing to believe anything yet.

So I'm not leaving the thread yet watch this space, it could all go horribly wrong!! Oh well...

I know, sod his last impression of you. You're the one with integrity here. It's your last impression of him that will go down as his character reference.

I can't believe that this hasn't happened before. This ''eureka'' it turns out, I don't want a relationship after all even though last week I did and we slept together ....

I would bet you all the tea in china that he's been through this routine before and normally women just suck up their shame and pain and rejection. So WELL done Freaky.

Wow freaky what a total idiot he is. He sounds like someone who will end up sad and lonely, full of fake niceness but no empathy.

It was actually RumpleForeskin. Geez. What a guy. Parents paying for his internet conection I bet.

That's not an iron btw! that was the 21 year old's screen name !

I think it's great to be messaging MrEloquent tonight. But don't message him much more after tomorrow. That's a slippery slope. Before you know it you've got yourself a Bear.

What you need is new irons. But not yet. First comes licking your wounds, Amy Young-on-repeat and masses of Self Care.

Treat yourself to something special tomorrow, no matter how small. And congratulate yourself for putting this Bacon thing out of its misery. I particularly admire the fact that you got a bit angry with him. Well done.

Yes Freaky your dignity is intact and bollocks to what he thinks of you right now. Men like that will never understand why the women they are treating like shit apparently start getting angry. The ones on tinder 'no drama queens' - at least you can recognise that they'll be the same sort of arsehole.

But Bacon had no warning . A lucky escape for you, I know that you had sex and possibly wished you had waited but this fuckwit behaviour would have come out at some point. Best it came now.

Haha 314 I thought it was an iron name

Thank you everyone.
I don't often lose my temper with people...well, I get snappy and irritable but not like that. And I was still making sense, and not swearing. I nearly called him a name at one point but bit it off and said "no, I won't resort to name calling".
I had my questions prepared but didn't get a chance to do any of them other than "what's been going on then?" but across the top of the piece of paper, I had written "don't apologise, don't beg, don't cry" and I didn't do any of those.

I'm sure he has done it before 314. He mentioned something about "drama" from an ex and not doing "drama" and I'm sure that's what he thought all that was.

It's no wonder he's so fucking lonely if his is how he treats people. Meanwhile, I have my friends, family, gorgeous DS who adores me and all of you lot too. So fuck him and his stupid shaven balls! (yup, really...)

And on that note, I'm going to bed with a cup of camomile tea (no for me tonight Handy love)

And tomorrow, I will stop being so shit and self obsessed and post on everyone else's irons etc.

Foxtrot sounds like you got your head screwed on there re Fence (another good name).

Night all. Specially to Freaky

I agree, lick your wounds. As Amy would say, you banged a loser. Welcome to the club.

I've crossposted with you Freaky about 'drama'. I completely agree.

You are not shit, you have confronted an arsehole regarding his shoddy behaviour. Pretty awesome if you ask me!!

Freaky you are amazing I would have crumbled if that had been me! Enjoy your

Oh god. That don't do drama thing is a REAL red flag.

I think that means "I'll disregard your feelings with my own rationalised selfish agenda and when you're upset, you have to hide that, or I'll call it ''drama''.

Yes I think you did well too freaky

Just back from the beautiful sounds of Courtney Pine

Sorry it turned out that way Freaky but you were ace :) & he was unforgivably nasty...

Waves back at Handy :)

Messaging a man in his forties with a child who seems dare I say it, normal.
too soon for a name. DaveTheRave46