Spring has sprung and the sap is rising! It's Dating Thread 104

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

slow he sounds confusing, like showing signs of being committal but says he doesn't want anything serious, very mixed signals. Good for you to play it laid back, keep doing exactly that. I often wonder what it means when they say they don't want anything serious. Does that mean not a relationship at all, like a casual set up, yet still monogamous?

I hate having to act a role that I don't really feel. I am an open and affectionate person, yet I have to stifle those things in case he is scared away. I really like him, and usually he is attentive and responsive, despite his not wanting anything serious speech. I'm worried he hasn't responded, obviously in case he's not interested any more, but also in case somethings has happened while he has been travelling.

slow I really doubt anything would have happened. Seems more likely that he feels that messaging you a lot while he's away would make it seem serious and maybe he's trying to avoid that. Although who knows what goes on in their heads? Try to keep busy and distracted as much as possible. I would say it's a good sign that he messaged to say he had arrived.

Well just shows I'm a rubbish judge of men! Had a lovely day (I thought ) yesterday with itman and today he's blocked me on Twitter and ignored my messages! And he's unmatched on tinder and pof !

Oh well I've reactivated match, new photos and blurb. Let's see

Titman more like- he's clearly not worth your time! Get back out there

what he is a spineless, childish, rude and thoughtless knob head. Better to have found out now.

what this is for you

Thanks prize I'm well aware of ghosting had it happen a few times now. Am not bothered really. I was surprised me and itman got on as well as we did in that way. Pity I've lost what could have been a good friend ...his loss not mine.

Match has brought lots of views but nothing else. Tinder is active and proving ok so onwards b

What ugh, sorry that sucks! I really don't understand why people do that..so cowardly. Just send a message, or better still, PHONE if you don't want to see someone again. You're right though, definitely his loss.

Slow that is a LOT of mixed message going on there! It is rubbish that you feel you have to hold back though, dating shouldn't be like that even if it's "not serious" I don't think there's anything that you can really do, other than keep messaging...and stop if it stops being fun...

Well, I had a lovely 2nd date with Doofus! Though not sure if it can really be described as date if you don't leave someone's flat?! Mooseburgers have been delivered on every conceivable level and frankly, I don't give a fuck! as it all feels quite right and good. We chilled out, watched a movie, chatted lots. He was the perfect host, tidied his mancave, picked me up from the station, made sure I was fed and watered and kept me happy in lots of ways. The man has skills.

And (wonder of wonders!) is still messaging me this morning.

I am still kind of getting a "friend" vibe off him, if that makes sense? It's hard to explain...no unicorns and rainbows, no getting swept off my feet, just enjoying getting to know each other and hanging out. I do fancy him, obviously and maybe it's early days for romance etc and this is the healthier way of going about things? It kind of reminds me of when I got together with ExP...no angsting over texts, lots of lazy afternoons watching movies and having sex.

It's highly likely that I am overthinking so I'll stop! In general, things are very good. We've discussed meeting up this weekend, I just need to let him know if I can get a babysitter. The distance thing still worries me as it's really only looking feasible to meet at weekends and between me having DS and him having his hobby, I'm not sure how that's going to work. But for the forseeable future, we have opportunities to meet so I'm just going to go with it and enjoy it.

Glad you are having a great time with Doofus, Freaky that's great!!

Time to take a step back, emotionally, slow

what that totally sucks. Cowardly tool. And breathe - onwards!

Beautiful weekend with the Twixy one. Just lovely....

Aww Freaky and Handy, love the positive vibes!

So I spent most of Saturday with CM. I'm being a complete bitch and leading him on, and I know I am. This is just not like me.

I have a date with Bookkeeper on Saturday. Hoping that goes well and brings me to my senses a bit!

Aw, Handy I thought of you over the weekend and hoped you were enjoying your Twix time. So glad you did. What's the deal moving forwards? Are you still on once a week or does it look like you'll be able to see each other more often?

Tanya Nice to hear from you! I can see why you are hanging out with CM...you've always really liked him. Reassess after you've had your date with Bookkeeper. Is this a first date?

Well, Doofus is still being freaking adorable! Consistent, sweet messages and he remembers little details. I went to see a friend's new baby yesterday and he was asking after him, remembering his name and asking to see a pic. I'm seeing him this Saturday for dinner or something but no sleepovers as I have DS...can't wait!

Ooh tanya how did that come about? I hope it was fun! Maybe Bookkeeper will divert your attention.. Hope the CM thing isn't causing you any angst! It sounds like it isn't.

Spent last night with Twix. Finding it hard to not articulate my feelings for him. The L word doesn't seem right. It's too soon. But I told him he's so gorgeous and I feel better letting that out! Ha!! Aaaaand breathe......

He has a gig soon, dying to meet some of the people in his life. Hopefully that'll happen.

Aw cross post with the Freakster. We'll see each other more. Every other week it'll be twice a week. Plus we have moved to that more comfy stage where even if he finishes work really late, he's keen for me to still pop up there. Previously we only met when there was a full evening 'date' to be had. He's told his brother about me. We've talked around the issue of meeting kids, but it's still only 3 months and there's no rush nor are there iminent plans for that to happen. All good! Am in deep emotionally but managing to go with the flow and just enjoy!! Go ME!!!

Doofus sounds really great. Like the sound of a no pressure dinner-date-then-home date. Perfect for this stage of the game. Hurrah for you Freaky

It's causing me a ton of angst because I know I'm going to end up hurting him. There's a lovely physical and emotional spark but no long term prospect, and he has openly said he's falling for me. I love him company, and to be honest, the attention, but it isn't going to go anywhere. So I am being a complete cow.

First date with bookkeeper, aye, he is a bit older and hopefully more worldly wise,

Don't beat yourself up Tanya. I can understand totally understand why you are doing what you are...he's a nice guy, good company, he likes you...it would be hard to resist that.

Handy That all sounds lovely! It seems like it's progressing at a really good, steady pace. Loving the sound of a gig and meeting his friends! Go you indeed!

Yep, dinner date with Doofus is just what's needed I think. Although spending Monday afternoon/evening chilling in his mancave was bloody lovely, I think it would be very easy to get into the "watching movies and snogging on the sofa" mode and I want actual, proper, going out dates before that stage.

tanya that's really hard, I can understand that the lure of the spark (am totally under the spell of Twix) so no advice from me. Bless you.

Hopefully Bookkeeper has more 'overall' potential.... Hum...

Bookkeeper is also lovely, and has chosen a bar round the corner from his flat, cheeky monkey! Out of convenience rather than presumption I think...

Hello everyone! I haven't completely disappeared hasn't the thread has gone quiet?!

what itman sounds like a prize jerk. Ghosting is the pits, I've had it a fair bit and I once told a date that even though it's crap and appalling manners 'how can I get myself hung up about somebody I've met once/twice/insert figure'

Slow there are so many mixed messages with your iron I don't know where to start. But I would believe him when he says he doesn't want anything serious even if he is acting otherwise. If you are looking for a relationship, start looking for other irons and if he steps up his game, great, if not then you'll have other dates.

Freaky excellent news about Doofus, I'm a firm believer in being physical fairly early on to check the compatibility it's very important!

Handy I'm so glad it's all positive with Twix, you are inspiring me!

tanya do you think you will ever change your mind about CM, would you ever want anything more serious with him?

Starskey your date sounds very promising, let us know your news if you see him again!

Help it is so difficult dating with children. I'm lucky in that my kids have a good father who has them half the time. I've git the best of both worlds. Do you have family or trusted friends nearby?

In my news...things are going brilliantly with Leicester I can definitely swoon! I travelled to see him this weekend and we had the best date I have ever had. We both agreed it was a fabulous weekend and there were mooseburgers aplenty on all levels. We might not see each other for another 10 days now as there are family things happening for both of us, but he is so lovely, he keeps trying to think of ways we can see each other soon. It's too late to stop myself from getting emotionally invested, nothing can save me now!!

Got not git in my post above

Even though he's an excellent father, my XH could be described as a git

It has gone quiet on here!

Update from me...
I've now blocked MrFit. It's for the best, I was only going to get hurt by him and I can't trust him!

I had a second date with Robin. I understand now I do fancy him, and we get along fine, but IDWAR with him. We have plans for Saturday so I'm going to need to tell him this - I think he's quite smitten. I almost catch myself at times realising I'm doing what MrFit did to me. It's not nice!

So in past 6 months of OLD I've had 1 date from Tinder (MrFit) and 2 from POF (including Robin). I need to get on some more dates! The only one I felt instant chemistry with was with MrFit. I've still been swiping and messaging on POF but not coming up with much.

Scarftown I've been doing exactly the same with my Ex - we're separated. I'm going back to him for all the emotional support. I should move on completely I know.

I think it's easy to fall into that with an ex, it can be comfortable almost. I'm trying not to with mine. He's being more chatty on pick up and drop offs but I just don't want to engage too much. If ya get me. A decade with someone makes it easy to just fall back into a sort of ' relationship'.

I've third date planned for Saturday with kilkenny guy ( I'm just gonna call him that)
All going surprisingly well for my first foray into OLD.....Wasn't expecting this at all.

what ghosting is awful. And just shows what a disk he is.

freaky glad things are going well with doofus.

I've not been back on pof in awhile, few messages through alright, but just gonna see how things go with this guy.
Was getting bit bored of it and the hi. Where you from? Blah blah blah

Well reinstated match but proving a pointless exercise lots of views but nothing else I've sent messages to the viewers I'm interested in and to those who wink but then nothing ..getting fed up of the whole thing. Is pof free?